


The Domino Effect

by GenuineSoftBoy



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Die mad about it, Friends With Benefits With Feelings, Gambling sex, I mean they fuck immediately but slow burn for Feelings, M/M, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Sleeping Bag Sex, Slow Burn, future discussion of trauma, more tags will be added as these kinky fuckers keep sleeping together, oc x canon character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-01-15 04:02:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 55,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21247160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenuineSoftBoy/pseuds/GenuineSoftBoy
Summary: A male Guardian takes his first step into aligning himself with the devil in the basement of the Tower. The Drifter can't fathom what a goody two shoes Guardian could want with him. Mutual coping arises and so do some irritable feelings.





	1. Partnership

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is honestly mostly a way for me to keep my own works in line so I don't expect much traction. But here we are. Soxkt is a mute male Awoken Guardian for anyone curious who primarily uses sign to communicate.

The silence that followed his hands was long. Soxkt stood there uncomfortably, shuffling slightly, glancing behind him, paranoid. It was late, very late. He knew that no one else would be here. It's the only reason why he was here now. But the long drawn out silence put a weird fear in him that if the Drifter didn't start speaking soon, someone would turn the corner and catch him. Catch him doing what? Nothing that hadn't already been done by hundreds of other Guardians, to be fair. Soxkt was just late to the party. Maybe that's why the Drifter just kept staring at him, slowly stroking his patchy beard. Soxkt moved his hands to sign again and the Drifter surprisingly put his hand out, silencing Soxkt's hands. 

"I...I got your answer, Starlight." His tone wasn't what he expected. Soxkt had played this in his head a thousand times. The smugness of the Drifter, the cockiness, the overt shock, a handful of similar scenarios that all ended the same way; knowing he'd just sold his soul to the sleaziest Darkness salesman in the universe. But it didn't feel like that. The Drifter was watching his face weirdly intensely, which only drew heat to it and made Soxkt's gaze try to rest on anything else. 

The Drifter pushed himself from the railing he was leaning against, slowly walking around Soxkt, arms crossed, still uneasily quiet. Soxkt spun to follow him as he walked, agitated but trying not to show hesitance. At some point, the Drifter jerked forward a little and Soxkt didn't even flinch. It was weird. The Drifter made him nervous. He already knew that. That was one of the reasons he was here, as much as he'd never admit it to himself. But this was new. This was worrying. 

"Is there a problem?" Soxkt signed after the Drifter had almost completed his full rotation around him, huffing with frustration and nerves. 

The Drifter stopped in his walking. "Nah, brother. No problems here...but..." He sighed a little, scratching the back of his head. "Let's not play stupid. I ain't here for games. You know damn well I didn't expect you to keep this...us...a little secret from your precious vanguard."  
The familiar half smile was back, crinkling the corners of his eyes and the scars down his face. "I don't mean to say you smell like a snitch but...I definitely didn't peg you as a bad guy. Sneakin' in here so late to talk to me, ruining a man's beauty sleep. Guess I figured you weren't much for holding dirty little secrets more than you already were. Well. Maybe that's why you're keeping quiet. Even sellin' me out to the Vanguard would admit your clean hands weren't really the cleanest. Gotta keep pretending you’re a purist, huh?" 

"These hands aren't clean." Soxkt signed. 

The Drifter seemed pretty openly surprised by that response before he burst into a bark of laughter. "I'll be damned! A Guardian, feelin' guilty, and for what? Slayin' gods got you down? You see a little Hive baby crying for it's mama? You don't play Gambit like a softie, Starlight, but maybe I was wrong." 

"Drifter..." Soxkt's voice was soft but it still managed to echo down here, in the emptiness, finding it's way into every corner and around every pipe. His throat closed up as soon as he said the name. Fuck. What was he supposed to say next? He had forbade Ventriloquist from coming out before he even descended the steps out here and he didn't want to start relying on him now. He stared down at his hands, begging them to talk for him, before looking at the Drifter, kind of pathetic, kind of hoping he'd see an answer for an unknown question. It was almost worse to see the Drifter watching him, hands in his pockets...patient. Or good at pretending to be. 

"You got an audience, Starlight." Nothing the Drifter said ever sounded nice but this was dangerously close to being so. 

"What if...you were wrong? About...me? All of it? All Guardians?" 

The Drifter's head tilted slightly. It was clear he didn't follow exactly but he was playing along like a good sport. And for what? He didn't know. "I've been around a long time, kid. I'm not wrong about much anymore. Guess it'd be kind of a kick in the dick to be wrong now but, hey, don't we all need that sometimes?" 

Soxkt's throat closed up again but this time at the lump that suddenly formed. He tried to speak around it, strained. "And...if you are right? I am...a bad guy." He meant for it to sound like a question but his voice gave out near the end, leaving it a broken sound. He wasn't used to talking. He wasn't used to giving these thoughts a voice. Why was he so stupid? Here he went again, reaching, grasping. Please. 

The Drifter watched him long and hard, this time the silence weirdly pleasant as Soxkt used that time to pull himself together. Maybe the silence was a gift from the Drifter to have this time. Or maybe he was gloating under that facade of thoughtfulness. Either way, eventually, it broke as the Drifter's eyes shut, him grinning to himself, shaking his head slowly. 

"Heh...heheh. Those damn purists up there...heads so far up their own asses, can't even see the flock they're leading anymore. Making me do their work for them." The Drifter came closer to Soxkt, pulling his hands from his pockets and slowly extending one hand. "Brother, be a bad guy. Or a good guy. Whatever the hell you wanna be. You say you standin' with me? That's all ol' Drifter needs to know. Don't gotta get complicated." 

Soxkt watched the Drifter's hand, waiting for his own, and he felt like he was sitting outside himself, watching as he shook the hand, slowly, numbly. He couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't believe it felt good. Or at least...not agonizingly shameful.The Drifter's second hand gripped his hand between both of his own. "Pleasure to be doin' business with ya officially, Starlight. This gonna be good for both of us. I swear it." 

Soxkt met the Drifter's gaze finally, forcing himself to pretend this was exactly how he expected everything to go. "Still...don't like you."  
The hands holding his squeezed painfully tight. "I can change that, brother. Just you wait and see."


	2. The Wrong Expected Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soxkt decides to try and fuck around with his newly aligned partner. It ends poorly...and exactly how he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read this far, porn is next chapter, just hang in there man

"Coward."

It took quite a bit to trip up someone like the Drifter, who embodied the very essence of seeing and hearing everything first in both work attitude and personality. And if Soxkt's heart wasn't slamming into his ribs with brusing force right now, he might even feel smug at the reaction he caused him with one, breezed through word.

His fireteam had gone dead silent too, freezing in their steps, cutting short their friendly post game chatter. Eyes darted back and forth before they all unanimously decided this wasn’t their fight and hurriedly began to walk off. Even Sigurd only shot the quickest look at Soxkt before speed walking away with a peace sign and a tense, wide eyed expression. It did put some doubt on his plan. But the real prize was the Drifter.

The Drifter's typical monologue of condescending praise as he handed out synths and weapons to the team screeched to a halt, as though his mouth heard the word first, his expression lagging behind a second. And even after, no facial expression stayed for long. Shock, confusion, amusement, outrage, they all danced in the harsh lines on his face and in the creases around his scars.

Oh yes.

This was almost satisfying enough. 

He pocketed the Synth that had been handed to him and turned to follow his fireteam, anticipating how he only needed to keep a stony face for a few more feet before he could sprint full tilt to his ship. He might not even need to follow his plan all the way through this time. He could just revisit this later, when his nerves weren’t so shot.

An open palm slammed into Soxkt’s chest, stopping his walk in place.

He turned to look at the Drifter, quizzically, but it seemed the gambling man was already in the business of turning the Awoken around. Both hands gripped Soxkt's collar and slammed him against the wall of his ship, a deep bassed rattling shaking the metal as Soxkt's back collided with it. Soxkt's face twisted in pain, the soreness of the Gambit match and this sudden abuse not good friends. He briefly squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop his vision from wavering but it didn't matter as the next thing only in his vision was The Drifter's face, still and set.

"Well well well. It’s about time you started telling me how you really feel. I knew that silent act had to break at some point." He was grinning but it wasn't a kind grin. It was the way animals grinned in their rage, grinned to start fights, grinned to rip out the throats of prey. A baring of teeth. Joyless eyes. He was close to Soxkt, incredibly close, only coming closer when Soxkt's hands reached up to grab at his wrists and fruitlessly tried to pry them off his armor.

"Don’t let me stop you, kid. Speak. Your. Mind." Soxkt’s stomach flipped as he felt his feet struggle to stay flat on the ship’s catwalk. Why the fuck was the Drifter so god damn strong? "Let's hear it, princess. You wanna run that word by me again?"

Only later would Soxkt wonder if it hurt the Drifter somewhere in his black heart to hear him say that word after pledging allegiance to him that night. At this moment, Soxkt didn’t even know the whole story of what that word would mean to him. He hadn’t heard the tapes. He hadn’t pieced together the bits and pieces he learned from his travels about the Dredgen and those who hunted the Drifter. He hardly, at the time, understood what the emissary of the Nine had started to show him. It would chew up his insides with guilt later in the coming weeks, this selfish act.

For now, though, there was no guilt.

It was only adrenaline. Nerves. The same feeling when Uldren held a knife to his throat in the Reef. The same feeling when Draknus knelt over him, a rocket launcher between them both. The same feeling when any Guardian, any worthy person held a gun at him with a smile.

And a second feeling, a troublesome one, that had come to the root of all this. The feeling that birthed this plan in the first place whether Soxkt knew it or not. And the feeling that pushed a grin right onto his face.

He might not have even known what was going on if the Drifter’s face didn’t settle firmly into the expression camp of confusion and suspicion as he stared down Soxkt. He quickly forgot the Drifter’s wrists and slapped one hand over his mouth, trying to find a way to calm down in the whirlwind he was caught in. But he couldn’t stop the light headed feeling, the butterflies so deep in him it was like they had been living in his bones all their lives. Oh no. Oh god. Too many wires were getting crossed. He needed to get out of here. He wanted to be forced to stay. He wanted a lot actually. Oh no.

“What’s your game, kid?”

Don’t say it. Don’t. Let that feeling wither inside. Let it die like it did with everyone else. Just don’t say it. Don’t say it.

“Want.”

“...What?”

“I...I wanted...”

And that was a crime enough, wasn’t it?

He didn’t know what would be worse. That the Drifter would in this moment miss months worth of build up, of restless nights, of Soxkt taking their brief conversations too seriously and disgustingly letting them pierce his hide. Months of self loathing that fed into rivalry that fed into selfish greed and that same growing want. Every gambit match, hoping, hating, needing the eyes on him. Feeding on every condescending remark, tearing into every scrap of validation for anything to give him the excuse to show up on the Derelict one more time. His scarred throat was burning with what he felt like he was screaming with his two words.

Prove it to me. Prove I’m a bad person. Show me what happens to betrayer guardians, the wrong guardians, the ones who should’ve stayed dead. Prove you see what I really am. And then let me back in the doors anyways.  
But even the the fear of being not even on the radar of the man who had slowly consumed, outconsumed every other looming thought in his head, was nothing compared to the same flavor of nightmare he always had. That the Drifter already knew. Has known. Soxkt could not even fathom the fear of seeing his bright blue eyes looking into Soxkt’s, and they would sparkle with the knowing he’d seen in the people who haunted him the most.  
The mortifying ordeal of being known.

The hands on his collar relaxed, just a little, his feet resting back fully on the ground. He heard the Drifter inhale through his teeth slowly. He could almost hear the gears clicking in his head starting to slot in place. Knowing it was futile, Soxkt tried to jerk free but barely moved an inch before he was put back into place against the wall, at least with less force this time. Despite being so close and the strain it put on his neck, he kept his gaze low, so low, anything to avoid the dawning realization that came through in the Drifter’s next words.

“You asked me what if I was wrong about you once, didn’t you?”

The last gear had clicked into place. Soxkt could feel his face fall into panic and he couldn’t resist snapping his neck up, almost head butting the Drifter as he did so. And the Drifter, he was grinning again. A new one though. Far more inscrutable and less primal than the previous one.

His voice dropped as he brought his face to Soxkt’s, a hiss breathing across blue skin. 

“How’s it feel, Starlight? How’s it feel to know I got your god damn number? Tell me, since you’re so keen on talkin’ today, tell me how it feels to know I got you pegged right where I’d knew you’d be?”

Soxkt could hear his own rapid shallow breathing, not even getting a chance to shame himself for his obvious reactions. His rising and falling chest almost flush against the Drifter’s armor, it was already taking everything in him to not careen over the edge into full blown danger. The tone had heeled turn without his control and he was falling.

“...Oh? We done talkin’? Heh. You know what? That’s alright. Don’t you worry. I got all my answers loud and clear from you anyways.”

Drifter’s hand swiftly moved from Soxkt’s collar to his jaw, crushingly tight, locking his head in pace. He was forced to recall a common bad taste joke the Drifter would make before fighting the Hive; “Grab them by the skulls and squeeze.” But he didn’t crush Soxkt’s head in. He just forced him to look him in the eye when he said his next word, a much harsher fate.

“Freak.”

Soxkt should’ve been mortified by the obvious sound that escaped his throat but the Drifter’s unflinching smirk was proof enough he at least got the result he desired and was therefore satisfied. It was a brief band aid to his ego to not be immediately rebuffed.  
The Drifter released Soxkt, stepping back and turning away easily, heading down the catwalk. Soxkt could see the lights of new eager ships reflecting through the portholes, transmits below the catwalk slowly firing up. The whole exchange barely took two minutes, if that.

“You know where to find me, Starlight. You come knocking...I’ll treat you right. Or wrong. Trust.”

At some point, Soxkt left the Derelict. He got into his ship, flew into orbit, muted his comms, and when he came to, he was just staring at the tiny reflection of The Haul sitting outside his ship’s front window. He didn’t remember doing any of it but evidence proved otherwise. He blinked and looked down at his clenched fist and uncurled his fingers.

A synth lay in his palm.


	3. Teeth on Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Drifter teaches Soxkt an old Earth game as foreplay before they start with what they wanted from the start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 13.5k words of total self indulgence
> 
> Shoutout to my boyfriend for teaching me poker for the explicit purposes of this fic
> 
> TW for general rough/hate sex, choking, name calling, other gross stuff

This was a bad idea.  


Soxkt had fucked around with one or two wrong people before. Nothing malicious or intentionally bad. Just wrong. Like that EXO girl who was just trying to fuck one member of every single high ranking clan. That didn’t feel great. But this was different. This was stupid on a cosmic level. This was possibly going to get him expunged from the Vanguard, his clan, and his own box of mental stability.  


Well, that box was not really doing it’s job lately. That’s why he was sitting in his ship, the Derelict in his sights, in the middle of the night. No armor, no weapons, not even his Ghost was turned on. It was just himself in clothes he spent way too long agonizing over. He didn’t even bring alcohol. He had forgotten about it by the time he had sped out the door of his apartment and to the docking bay, more preoccupied with running on pure adrenaline so he didn’t chicken out then remembering he probably should’ve brought something. Right? Or was that weird? Soxkt rubbed his face, groaning. The adrenaline rush didn’t even last long enough to get him on the threshold of the Drifter’s door.  


What if he misunderstood the Drifter? What if this was all a colossal mistake? He thought they saw each other plain in that crucial moment post Gambit match a few days ago. Gods know Soxkt replayed the scene enough times in his head to overthink every possible angle he could’ve misinterpreted. But at the end there, he felt it again. The Drifter saw him, at least a little. It was a frightening idea but it was the one surefire thing that kept him believing he couldn’t be too wrong.  


…  


Or could he?  


Before he could entertain turning the ship around and dragging his ass to literally anywhere else, the comms switched on, jolting him.  


“How long you gonna sit there, Starlight?”  


Soxkt, fully knowing the Drifter couldn’t see him, quickly rushed to smooth his hair down and then glared accusingly out the window at the Derelict. Why did the Drifter know his ship THAT well? He was debating if speaking was worth it to answer but the comms clicked back on first.  


“I don’t hear your Ghost whining or cursing at me so I’m gonna guess you sent the little bastard to bed. Meaning ...heh.” The small laugh sent goosebumps down the back of Soxkt’s arms and he pulled his jacket tighter, glaring at the comm speakers as though it were to blame.  


“Alright, ya got five minutes to be in my door before I lock it and call up Zavala and tell ‘im we got a drunk Guardian trying to play Gambit when it’s closed that he’s gotta come pick up.” The comms clicked off. Soxkt stuck his tongue out at the speaker. Bastard. But it was motivating enough to finally unstick him from his captain’s chair and head over to his transmat. He took one last look at himself in the reflection of the big open window, opaque and with the glory of space overlayed over his image. It seemed to fit him well. He turned a little and smiled at his own faux arrogance. “I’ll be okay.” He told his reflection. His reflection smiled back but he could tell it was worried. He was too.  


He dropped down with a thud onto the catwalk of the Derelict. Soxkt immediately felt naked being here without his typical gear and he had that looming feeling of forgetting something. It didn’t help he realized only then how large the ship was, so spacious and unforgiving in how it’s curves dipped into dark shadow. He turned a little to regard the empty portal, the empty chambers the Guardians went in to transmat down onto the Gambit matches. It was all so lonely and oppressive without anyone there.  


“Well, you clean up alright then.”  


Soxkt’s heart leapt and he turned from his slow examining of the ship to see the Drifter on the other side of the catwalk, careless and easy going as though Soxkt always stopped by in the middle of the night for vague and possibly explicit purposes. The Drifter looked as he always did but he had pulled off the armor that typically donned over his jacket and gauntlets. Soxkt mentally cringed slightly at wondering if he looked too desperate to please by dressing nice but it was too late to skitter back home and change. So again he turned in a little circle on the catwalk and grinned his winningest at the Drifter. The Drifter grinned back. Maybe he had made the right choice.  


He pulled his hands from his pocket to sign. “I tried my best.”  


“Yeah? Who you puttin’ in all that effort for?”  


Fuck. Soxkt was already turning red and he glanced away, his hands rubbing each other in a nonverbal way of mumbling nonsense as Drifter chuckled. The Drifter moved first, walking down from his end to meet Soxkt in the middle, his boots resounding in the echoes of the ship as he walked down the catwalk. Soxkt held his breath as he came close. But the Drifter only reached a hand out to grab the collar of his jacket a little. He looked unbearably cocky and Soxkt felt a month’s worth of old feelings bubble to the surface. The good and the bad ones.  


“You gamble, kid?”  


Soxkt was quick to answer. “Probably not like you do.”  


“Ha! You’re right about that. Ain’t no one gambles like Drifter.” His grip tightened in the fabric just a little. “Let’s teach you how to gamble like a bad guy, huh?”  


Soxkt was far too aware of the Drifter’s thumb under his collar, touching against the side of his neck. So when the Drifter yanked him as he turned down the middle of the catwalk, he didn’t make quite the biggest idiot of himself as he stumbled to follow. 

To his surprise, he was being pulled where Drifter typically presented himself before Gambit matches, an offshoot of the catwalk that looked out over the chambered Guardians. At the boxed in end of the catwalk was a space already made up. A small card table was set up with alcohol, scattered with loose game glimmer, multiple decks of cards, and bits and pieces of hardware. On the floor itself though was an already placed game. Cards neatly stacked on either side of half a mound of tokens and half a mound of thick chunks of glimmer. Soxkt felt his nerves ease as curiosity took over and he didn’t even notice the Drifter had released his collar.  


“This ain’t your clan’s Friday night gamblin’, brother. Or whatever it is you all play in your little bars and what not.” Drifter drawled, grabbing a small box off the card table before easing himself to the floor, careful not to disrupt his cards. Soxkt took the Drifter’s relaxed state as permission and picked up the bottle of alcohol curiously. The label was mostly torn off and faded and the outside of the bottle was filthy. But when he popped off the top and sniffed, it was sharp and pure. Whiskey. He smiled approvingly and began to pour when the Drifter cleared his throat.  


“I ain’t your daddy, kid, but if you start chugging that shit, I’m cuttin’ you off.” Drifter warned, pointing a finger accusingly. Soxkt raised an eyebrow, setting the bottle down to sign quickly.  


“Seems unlike you to limit others.”  


“I got my reasons. Reason one, I ain’t dealin’ with anyone who gets sloppy drunk on my ship. Last thing I need is to call up the Vanguard because you decided to tilt a bank of motes over for fun. Reason two…” He paused a moment, waiting for Soxkt to look at him again so he could make himself clear. “I don’t need anybody’s lines getting...blurred. I wanna know yes means yes. I don’t play any games with that.” Soxkt looked away shyly but he was weirdly comforted by the Drifter’s strictness. As he poured himself a glass, the Drifter continued slyly. “Oh and third reason being I don’t want you thinkin’ you can get out of tonight by blacking out and forgetting in the morning.” Soxkt jumped as the Drifter was suddenly behind him, reaching for the bottle and pulling it from Soxkt’s hands, not close enough to touch but enough to make Soxkt’s hair stand on end. “I want you rememberin’ tonight.”  


Drifter sat back down, keeping the bottle on the floor between them as Soxkt nervously seated himself on the cold metal. He hadn’t wanted to admit that the alcohol’s presence was possibly a comfort to him due to one of the reasons the Drifter listed. There was something aggravating about knowing he was already being monitored and guessed at, about as aggravating as it was attractive. He raised the glass to his lips as the Drifter flipped the top of the small box he had grabbed and pulled out a thin brown cigarette. It was oblong and weird shaped, clearly hand rolled with the skill of someone who’d been doing this for a while but with the care of someone who didn’t give a shit. Soxkt’s head tilted as the Drifter stuck the thing between his teeth, fishing for a lighter in his pockets, only glancing up when he realized Soxkt was holding one out to him already.  


He smiled and winked. “Thanks, kid.” He popped the cigarette out of his mouth and held it up to the flickering flame of the lighter. Soxkt stowed it away as the Drifter pulled back, still looking curiously at the gambling man.  


“I’ve never seen you smoke before.”  


“It’s a nasty habit I try to keep away but sometimes ya gotta indulge a little. Ain’t like it can really hurt us now anyhow.” He dragged long and slow as he shuffled the cards, moving the cigarette to the corner of his mouth as he worked. Soxkt watched like a fascinated child as he slowly sipped at the burning whiskey, feeling it warm him against the chill of the ship’s air. Drifter always made himself something special to watch, like a magician drawing your eye from the crucial twist. Quick fingers on cards. Rough mouth pulled serious as he focused.  


“Ya like watchin’ me, don’t ya?” He hadn’t even looked up to meet the golden eyes that were fixated on him.  
The plainest answer was yes, Drifter was a handsome man so he was fun to watch instrinctically. But Soxkt felt the sad truth bubble to the surface that every damn thing Drifter did was like a fingernail prying open the hatch of his ugly desires. He answered the question instead by leaning forward a little, expectantly.  


Drifter’s eyes flicked up and he took his cue, consolidating the cards to one hand as he pulled the cigarette out with two fingers and leaned in. Soxkt shuddered as he inhaled, the pads of Drifter’s gauntlets against his lips the first contact between them since Drifter had slammed him full force into a wall a few days ago. The man himself hummed in satisfaction as Soxkt finished his draw, sitting back up to exhale slowly.  


“Good boy.”  


Those words burned in Soxkt’s lungs way more than the smoke ever could.  


The Drifter started passing the cards out in a curious way and Soxkt tried to guess what this game was, not exactly a novice in these things. But he found himself getting lost immediately as the Drifter put two cards in his hand.  


“You ever play poker, hotshot?” The Drifter didn’t even have to look up to know Soxkt was looking at him like he was insane. “It’s a real old Earth game. Easy. Deal ‘em. Bet some glimmer so no one chickens out. Bet again based on your cards. Dealer starts flipping these cards-” He tapped the face down cards between them. “-And you keep bettin’ and bluffin’ until all five cards get flipped. Whoever’s got the best hand wins the pot. Got that much?”  


Soxkt placed his cards carefully on his knee. “I need to make you think I have the best cards?”  


“You make me think whatever you need to make me lose. Lie through your teeth.”  


Soxkt stroked at his chin, thoughtful if not still a little confused. He stuck a hand out and transmatting down from his ship dropped a large hunk of glimmer into his hand. He broke the block off into smaller pieces, watching for approval as he dropped the glimmer into the previously motioned to pot.  


“Good start. C’mon, let’s bullshit around a little.”  


Drifter never considered himself a good teacher and neither would anyone else for the record. But he had that weird patience, a patience that came with living too long for something far gone. So he wasn’t doing what Soxkt felt like doing which was banning himself from ever again trying to play this game called poker. He felt like a child as the Drifter slowly explained card suites to him, but he felt...warm too. Safe. Every time he came onto this ship with expectations, they just had to get shot out of the sky before he could have any confidence. He had been thinking about this night far more than was healthy but he never before expected to spend it swelling with pride as he followed the paint by numbers steps the Drifter walked him through until, with the last card flipped, Soxkt showed his hand.  


“Well shit, kid. You got me made.” Drifter showed his hand and let Soxkt take a few beats to mentally count in his head before he beamed, sunshine in a bottle.  


“See? Easy enough of a game, yeah? And you beat me on top of it.”  


“You let me.”  


“Yeah, but for good reason.” Drifter remarked, shuffling the deck and dealing again, deftly flicking the cards across the cold floor to Soxkt. As Soxkt picked his cards up, Drifter took the moment to slowly pull his gauntlets off, slow enough to draw Soxkt’s attention back to him. He laid his cards on the floor beside him, rubbing the knuckles of his bare hands from where the leather had been rubbing against them. Soxkt could tell by the way Drifter was half smiling he was baiting him. Into what, no one knew. 

Soxkt placed his cards down on his knee and took the free moment to sign.  


“What aren’t you telling me?”  


“I ain’t givin’ all my secrets away, brother. You gotta play to learn those.”  


Soxkt stared at the gauntlets on the floor and the Drifter watched him stare.  


“Oh, right, yeah, heh. I did forget a rule now didn’t I? Not an ‘official’ rule but a ‘house rule’ if you will. You lose a hand, you lose something you’re wearing.” Drifter said it with all the ease of reciting a Gambit rule, calm and simple. But he too clearly found pleasure in watching as Soxkt lost the casual atmosphere he had found himself in. Soxkt clung to his cards, keeping them close to his chest like they could save him from the Drifter’s game.  


“What? You think I don’t know what I invited you up here for? Neither of us is stupid. I coulda taken you the second you transmat in here. But...you had to go and be so damn interestin’. So I thought we’d have ourselves a little chat first.” Drifter smirked, shrugging like it was out of control. “ I thought bugging your ship but would at least answer me a few things but you really are silent as the grave, huh?”  


Soxkt’s head was reeling from the sudden drop of intention so he was strangely grateful for the Drifter’s relaxed honesty in admitting the ship being bugged. It let Soxkt be angry without any other feelings get in the way and he fixed the Drifter with a nasty glare, leaning forward. The Drifter didn’t so much as flinch and leaned in too, still with that insufferable grin.  


“Good luck finding it.” Drifter took a fistful of tiny glimmer shards and rained them into the pot. Soxkt broke off another hunk of his chunk and the game began between them.  


“So. What keeps you comin’ to Gambit?”  


He looks expectantly at Soxkt who looks down at his own preoccupied hands and back at the Drifter, glancing around nervously, moving to put his cards down again, stopping when the Drifter tsk’d at him.  


“C’mon, I don’t expect any long answers but I know damn well you can talk a little bit. I’ve heard it.”  


Soxkt chewed on his bottom lip, lifting his cards up again.  


“...Why?” His voice was deep and clear, though faltering. A lack of use made it hard to emote or phrase things, especially sans Ghost, so Soxkt kept his answers close to the chest.  


“Can’t I just be curious about the Guardians who keep showin’ up on my ship?”  


Soxkt shook his head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “Why...do you...want me to speak?”  


Drifter’s eyebrows raised a little and he grinned. “Good question.” He didn’t answer for a bit as he dealt to Soxkt again. “I don’t mean to imply anything but I’m of the opinion it’s a lot harder to lie or be too smart if you have to actually look me in the eye and talk to me. I see the way you look sometimes. You damn Warlocks overthink everything anyways but you’re a whole other special case of tryin’ too hard. So if you put your cards down to start signing, I’m gonna find a way to look at ‘em and win and you can’t have that happen, can you?”  


Soxkt drummed his fingers against his jaw, listening thoughtfully. He slowly puffed air out of his cheeks, nodding slowly and sitting up straight. “Then do you think...I lie to my clan...because I sign?” He knew the Drifter had seen him signing with people in Gambit many times, relishing in after battle conversation.  


“I think you’re a lot better at it with them than you are with me. Meanin’ you don’t gotta think as hard. So if ya do lie to them, I’d be hard pressed to guess when.”  


Soxkt smirked. “You think...you know me well.”  


“Oh Starlight, I know you damn better than those dumb buckets of Light you run around this solar system with.”  


“Really?”  


“I see the way you look when you sink your shot into the neck of an invading Guardian. I hear how you start breathin’ when I come on your comms and tell you how good you are at makin’ things die. And, heh, well, I’m sure you heard this before, but you got a face like an open book, even when you got that smile on it. And I can read every bit of ya.” Drifter looked up and smiled at Soxkt’s broken eye contact. “Your pals know you’re here?”  


No response.  


“You gon’ tell them?”  


Soxkt’s brow furrowed but he remained silent.  


“Didn’t think so. So how about we just agree I know you in ways that would make your skin crawl and your ‘friends’ know...something else. Your precious clan can keep whatever they know about you. That ain’t the you I’m interested in.”  


The comment stung sharply but Soxkt smiled anyways. No one ever treated him like this. No one had any reason to. It was scary beyond compare to know the Drifter knew so much with hardly a look but it was a fear far worth the reward of finally having an outside voice confirm everything he already knew about himself.  


“Also, you lost.”  


“W-what?!” Soxkt’s smile vanished. “H-how...how c-can you tell?!”  


“That look on your face tells me everything I need to know.” Drifter laid his hand down. Fuck. “I got a lucky hand, don’t get too beat up.” He said and Soxkt shrugged good naturedly as best he could. But then he realized the Drifter was waiting expectantly and he blushed up to his ears. He rubbed his jacket between his fingers uneasily.  


“Aw, shy already, princess? Can’t even take your jacket off in front of another man. Ain’t that cute.” The Drifter cackled and Soxkt took his jacket off to the sound of his laughter. He neatly folded the jacket next to him, rubbing his arms in the cold air and then looked at Drifter sternly.  


“First...and last loss.” He said, holding up a single finger, smirking.  
Drifter’s eyes gleamed bright. “Settin’ yourself up for one mean fall there with words like that.”  


“You can’t...always be lucky.”  


“I make my own luck, brother. Just you wait and see.”  


Soxkt fumbled to collect the cards and reshuffle the deck after his loss, his confident promise immediately feeling watered down as he tried to get used to the cards in his hands. Drifter’s smug expression didn’t help his composure, and he only managed to just barely deal the cards out for the next hand with some amount of adequacy. The Drifter blessed didn’t comment on the travesty he witnessed.  


“I still want an answer to my first question. Don’t think I’m forgettin’.”  


“Why I...play Gambit.” Soxkt tilted his head side to side and Drifter knew he was sorting out answers. “Firstly...Draknus.”  


Drifter didn’t have to think too hard to conjure up the Awoken leader of Soxkt’s clan in his mind. Charismatic, obnoxious, skilled as all hell, and way too nosy. And an eyesore. “Yeah, guess I do remember him being the one to bring you on into the fold. How’d he manage that though?”  


“I needed a...distraction.”  


Drifter didn’t even need to parse that one. That’d been the words of many a Guardian filling up his Gambit. Distraction from Cayde’s death. Distraction from the Dreaming City crashing back into the lives of so many Awoken. And for followers, distraction from the ruin of the Sov family. Touchy subjects all around. Drifter tried to circle it with all the grace he could manage.  


“No shame in that. Pretty sure I made all y’all Guardians the same offer to come get some...blood therapy.”  


“Gross.”  


“Shut up.” Drifter stubbed his cigarette out on the floor beside him. “If you just needed a little distractin’, though, I wouldn’t have been seeing you half as much as I do. So where’s the rest of the answer?”  


“Why does there...have to be more?” Soxkt scrutinized the Drifter’s expression. “Thought you...didn’t care so long as I’m on...your side.”  


“No need to start pointin’ fingers and getting cross. Just tryin’ to small talk.” It was a bold faced lie but Soxkt knew better than to question when his own half lie still went unanswered. “You clearly look up to and follow that bullshit the Vanguard’s spewing. You got many opportunities for violence with everything going on. You certainly don’t like me.” Drifter winked. “But you keep showing up. Funny, huh?”  


The verbal assault throws Soxkt and he tries to search for a limited answer to give but the Drifter’s constant stream of words fumble him. “Hell, you ain’t even snitchin’ on me for brownie points. I would know. But you’re as honest as ever with everyone...mostly. Gotta wonder what’s keeping you around.”  


There was no right answer Soxkt could give that wasn’t another half lie at least. There was no easy way to say the guilt interacting with the Drifter coated him in was a shield to block out the last few months of whirlwind sadness. No concise explanation for how good it felt to be doing something, even for a little, that he felt traced back to his roots without directly having to confront his past. Hell, he wasn’t even going to touch on trying to explain why he came home from every match for the first few weeks animalistically needy, drunk on the Drifter’s validation, the mocking words, the shame of indulging in this instead of finding answers to every loose hanging thread.  


Soxkt pouted slightly. Ok, well, maybe he didn’t need to get into that anyways. Unfortunately, Drifter probably was already expecting as much. In fact-  


“Have you...bugged my apartment?”  


“That’s what you been stalling the game for? Spent all that time thinking and you’re just gonna accuse ol’ Drifter of somethin’ like that?”  
Soxkt stared at him dead eyed.  


“Ouch. Alright, fine, I get it but no, I haven’t, thanks for askin’. Mainly ‘cause you got some weird as hell roomies, I don’t need to hear what Wrecking Ball or that exo dog get up to.” Drifter tapped his knee. “You’re dodgin’ the question.”  


“...It’s easier to Gambit...then do most things lately.” It came out heavier than he expected and Soxkt quickly cleared his throat, folding his hand. “F-fold.”  


Drifter was watching his face and Soxkt wanted to tell him for every obvious trait he liked to mock in Soxkt, he really never learned how to read him in secret. 

Drifter looked like he wanted to comment but laughed slightly instead, shaking his head. “Heh. Alright. I’ll take it. But for the record…” Drifter turned to show his hand. “All that thinkin’ don’t stop you from losing.”  


Soxkt groaned and rubbed at his forehead. “I know why...this game went extinct.”  


“It’s not extinct. And no need to blame the game for you being sore.”  
“Can you cheat...in this game?”  


“You can cheat anything, Starlight. Shirt. Let’s go.” The Drifter snapped as he plucked Soxkt’s cards from his hand, borderline giddy. Soxkt hesitated, overcome with shyness as he fiddled with the collar of his shirt.  


“Ain’t nothin’ to get worked up about yet, kid. Bet this is still shit your whole clan has seen already.”  


“Thought you wanted… to see me… embarrassed.” Soxkt grumbled as he popped the first button.  


“Trust me, there’ll be time for that.”  


Soxkt cursed his desire to wear a button up shirt as it dragged the moment on but he started to reconsider his negative feelings when he saw the Drifter’s eyes follow his fingers down each button. He crept a little slower in his undoing and the Drifter smirked. “Tease.” He quipped.  


“Real funny...comin’ from you.”  
“I don’t tease. I threaten. And I make good on my threats.”  


The Drifter’s eyes widened as the shirt came off and for a moment, the back and forth screeched to a halt as he saw the Guardian’s scarred up chest. It was nowhere near as bad as the scars of those who wandered in the Dark Ages, the shit Ghosts couldn’t fix on their own, but they were gnarly to see paired with such a soft face. It didn’t help Soxkt didn’t have a damn clue of his past or, if he did, it was in a place no one had reached yet, not the Vanguard, not Drifter, or anyone he had an ear to. All the more alluring of a mystery.  


“Damn, brother. You are wrecked to shit, ain’t ya?”  


In the reveal of himself, Soxkt was surprisingly calm, brought down from his shameful high to shrug one shoulder. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to deal with this type of reveal before. “I was brought back with them already. No clue what did it to me.” He explained with his hands having a moment to use them, his fingers unconsciously moving to gently touch his scars after he finished signing. Drifter nodded, drinking in the view with a surprising amount of seriousness. It was intense enough for Soxkt to remember what was actually happening and he closed up shyly.  


Drifter watched the mood shift and smiled again. “Got anymore secret scars you hidin’?”  


Despite asking the question, he wasn’t prepared for the reaction he got as Soxkt stiffened suddenly, a hand raising to his lips, his eyes wide with nerves and hesitation. Right. The mysterious injury that rendered the Guardian primarily mute yet left him with a smooth clear voice…when he chose to use it. Drifter couldn’t contain the curiosity and he leaned forward, lowering his cards face down on the floor. He was drawn to the mystery and even more so drawn to the vulnerable look in the Awoken’s eyes. He wasn’t gonna let this go.  


“Open.” The word was a command but a gentle one.  


Soxkt’s fingers shook as he signed. “No one else has seen it before.”  


“Even more reason why I should then, right?”  


He moved himself closer, careful not to knock the glimmer pile over. Soxkt watched his slow advance with mounting excitement, now internally warring with his fears.  


“Let Drifter see what you got locked up inside, baby.” He stopped himself in front of where Soxkt was sitting crossed legged, moving to sit on his knees in front of him.  


The casual drawl of the pet name cinched the deal. Soxkt dropped his hands into his lip like an obedient school child and braced himself, breathing long and deep. He opened his mouth good and wide. He raised his gaze to meet the Drifter’s. And he rolled his tongue out real slow.  


God damn.  


Drifter yanked his mind from the gutter it was lavishing in to really stare at the scar tissue. It was an ugly thing. Not so large you’d notice by him just talking but it was pale dead flesh, snaking all the way back, a thin raised jagged line. The Drifter took Soxkt’s jaw in his hand, his thumb tucking into the Guardian’s mouth to force it to remain open, and he forced himself to pay no mind to the sweet, gentle whine that action brought out of Soxkt.  


The knife used to do this was curved, jagged, rough but not badly made. Not something random vagabonds or ravagers would carry or scavenge. It was something designed to hurt a lot by people with the means to do it. Yet it didn’t have a damn thing so wrong with it Soxkt would feel pain speaking or even a speech impediment. The Drifter leaned back slightly, noting the different scar marks on Soxkt’s bare chest. They were much lighter and cleaner than this one though some were pretty deeply carved. Combat scars, fighting scars, nothing that looked particularly lethal. He wondered if he could find similar to the tongue’s scar if he had the time and his priorities in order. Unthinking, he muttered out loud “God damn kid, what happened to you?”  


His eyes flickered back to Soxkt’s face and smirked. Poor thing couldn’t even focus on his own examination. His eyes hadn’t left the Drifter’s face, still wide, still a little scared, but the excitement that had won this war in the first place was still there too. The Drifter gave the hand gripping his jaw a little shake as he bent over slightly and he loved the way Soxkt’s golden eyes narrowed a little at the condescending action.  


“You just keep getting’ more interesting. That scar is one nasty son of a bitch.” He pulled his thumb from the corner of Soxkt’s mouth. “But it still works I bet.”  


That was the first time the Drifter kissed him.  


It was not a kind or gentle kiss. It was filthy and deep and Soxkt was locked in to it by the vice grip on his jaw that ached where the Drifter’s fingers dug in. The Drifter’s free hand had found its place behind Soxkt’s head, threaded between the crimson hair, giving only a gentle pull, only enough pressure to threaten the possibility of what could come. Soxkt’s hands clung to his gi, less to pull him closer and more to keep himself from floating away. Feeling the Drifter’s tongue run across his own, it felt so good it hurt.  


The kiss held every single one of the Drifter’s intentions in it; to invade and exploit the worst parts of Soxkt and to force him to love it.  


The kiss broke and they both were breathing heavy. The Drifter’s eyes burned into his, dark and a melting point away from knocking the whole game aside. But he didn’t. He knew restraint like an old friend. So instead he replaced his smile, and dropped his grip. “Don’t get distracted now.” He taunted as he moved back, maneuvering over the piles on the floor. “You didn’t win yet. In fact, you’re lookin’ down the barrel at 0-2 now.”  


He raised a hand at Soxkt’s stare that could’ve bored a hole straight through him. “Easy now. That’s a lot of pride you’d be throwin’ away if ya did what you’re thinkin’ right now.” He taunted and Soxkt deflated, rubbing the back of his neck, turning his smoldering glare to his cards instead as he shuffled them. Another deal, another hand, another hand dipping into his glimmer reserves. Back to the comfortable tension.  


“So Gambit don’t scare you none then?”  


“No.”  


“Even though it spits in the face of your Vanguard and everything they stand for?” He thrilled in the small wince Soxkt gave to that.  


“That’s...not fear. That’s...something else.”  


“Uh-huh. Fair enough. But you ain’t scared of what you’re messin’ with down there? I know you know the kind of Darkness I got on this ship. Well, as much as you can know maybe.”  


Soxkt tapped his chin thoughtfully. “...No, not scared. I know it is...unsafe but-”  


“But?”  


“I can...handle consequences.”  


The Drifter hummed in reply, lifting his head with a questioning smile. “Ohhhh. You think you can handle it?”  


Soxkt didn’t follow whatever conclusion the Drifter united. “Well. Not trying to...take your job.”  


“I didn’t think so. But let’s see if I get ya. You fuck around, save the universe a little bit, kill a Hive god, and now you think you’re invincable? Darkness don’t put a little fear in your Light?”  


Soxkt bristled at that, his brow furrowing. “No. But I...can handle shit.”  


“Anything?”  


“Yes.”  


“You scared of me?”  


The heel turn in questioning made Soxkt falter. “I-...what?”  


“Are you...scared...of...me?” The Drifter timed out his words with each deal. Soxkt grimaced and began reordering his cards.  


“...No.”  


“You got an easy answer for everything, don’t ya?”  
“Do you...want me to be scared?”  


“I think you’re dumb as hell if you aren’t a little scared of me at least.”  


Soxkt froze in his sorting and looked up, lowering his cards to face the floor. It was the Drifter’s turn to bristle at the amused look on Soxkt’s face though he swallowed it down.  


“Why?”  


“Why should you be scared of me?”  


“Yes. You are...not Ghaul. Oryx. The Darkness. You are...like me. Like all Guardians.”  


“If you ended up on a planet with motes of darkness on them, Starlight, what would you do?” Drifter absentmindedly picked at his nails. “Things you ain’t never seen before, full of Darkness, in a place your precious Light can barely survive. Killing your friends slowly. Drawing in unspeakable horrors. That kinda thing.”  


Soxkt tilted his head. “I don’t-...Destroy them?” It was hard to even fathom such a thing.  


Drifter brought his gaze back up, his tone clipped and precise. “And what did I do?”  


“...Doesn’t make you a threat.” Soxkt eventually muttered, knowing he was had.  


“How do you know?”  


The mote was in the Drifter’s free hand already. Soxkt startled, flinching back, eyes darting around wildly in confusion. He didn’t know where it came from or how The Drifter had it out already. The bank wasn’t even in eyesight. The Drifter was still, smiling, gently turning the edges of the mote in his hand.  


“Ah, it’s a shame kid. I like you ‘cause you got fire but...ain’t nothing better than seeing you terrified a little. But you don’t break easy so... I gotta bully ya a little to get what I want.”  


Soxkt slowly sat back up straight, calming his thudding heart, watching as the Drifter tucked the mote away and it seemingly vanished under his jacket. 

“You...want me to be scared of you.”  


“Just a little.”  


“Why?”  


“Makes you hard.”  


Soxkt paled then flushed deeply, crossing his legs tighter, hunching slightly over himself. “B-bullshit.”  


“There’s a lot of reasons I want a lot of people to be scared of me, Starlight. You don’t gotta know the whole story yet. But...you can’t tell me if all the lights on my here ship just went out-” Drifter snapped his fingers. “Like that, you wouldn’t be scared out of your mind at what I might do to ya. What I could do to ya. And you love that.”  


Soxkt despised the strain in his pants and the fight or flight response his body had to that mental image. He hunched over more, grabbing his drink and finishing off the remnants. The Drifter took his petulant silence as a victory and chuckled softly.  


“Keep your head in the game, kid. Because you ain’t got many chances left here.”  


“How do...you know?”  


“‘Cause I’m about to crush your last hope.”  


The Drifter’s cards splayed out between them. Soxkt didn’t fully register his loss at first, squinting as he tried to understand but the dawning of defeat had to come eventually and his face fell. Until he stiffened suddenly, touching the cards, looking at his own, and then the surrounding catwalk. Drifter watched him search for whatever he was looking for until Soxkt fixed him with an accusatory and awestruck look.  


“You’re cheating.”  


The Drifter seemed to find a genuine glee in the stunned words of Soxkt and his laugh was joyful. He clapped his hands together, his eyes squinted as he grinned wide. “Yeah? Am I?”  


Soxkt stared down at the cards in front of him and the ones in his hand, back and forth, for a few painful seconds as he tried to piece together what was happening through the slow oozing humiliation rolling down his back. He was being tricked. He knew it. Something was wrong here. But he didn’t have a single clue what brought him to that conclusion or how he could prove it. He didn’t know the game well enough or the rules and he wouldn’t be surprised if Drifter taught him wrong in the first place.  


The Drifter had leaned forward to snap his fingers under his nose, blinking him out of his lost in thought space. “Brother, if you can prove I cheated, I will forfeit this game right now. But I ain’t lettin’ ya spend all night tryin’ to figure it out.” He leaned back, making himself comfortable against the railing, his smugness finally settling in. He had managed to restrain it for most of the night but the long con was finally bearing fruit and he knew it.  


Soxkt felt his anger and frustration rising. He couldn’t keep focused enough to find the answer. His head and heart were pounding with such different feelings and he was loathe to admit it but it wasn’t like his blood flow was primarily heading to either of those two places anyways. He couldn’t tell if he was overthinking something obvious or missing a finer string of details. The weight of the game was squeezing the common sense out of him and when he saw the cocky smirk plastered on the Drifter’s face he knew this was the intention.  


“Not...fair.”  


“What ain’t fair, Starlight? That you went and got yourself all distracted thinking ‘bout me and put yourself on the path to losing? Please.” His head lowered slightly as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand, his elbow propped on his raised knee. “Give me what I’m owed.”  


It was an agonizing stretch of time even if it lasted only a minute or so. It was humiliating, shameful to the point Soxkt felt his joints lock up in protest as he slowly moved, his body singing revolt. The Drifter drummed his fingers on the floor, his proud smirk only increasing Soxkt’s nerves. The blood rushing to his face was hot, his heart was screaming out for relief, but still he dug his fingers under his pant’s waist and pulled down. He toed his boots off before he got too far and as he yanked the rest of his pant’s off, he quickly pulled his knees up to his chest, curling himself into a ball. The Drifter’s drumming stopped. They stared at each other. The tension was stifling between them.  


“You know that’s not good enough for me, kid.”  


“Fuck off.”  


The Drifter’s laugh was dry. “Ha! God, I like you way too much. It’s the only reason I let you keep talkin’ to me this way.” His smile was moving away from smugness to something more...dangerous. “You scared now?”  


“No.” Soxkt was terrified and it only made him harder.  


“You still thinkin’ bout what I’d do to you if all these lights went off?”  


“Pervert.”  


“Pervert, huh? Real funny choice of words with the tent I’m sure you’re pitchin’.” Drifter laughed darkly at the indignation on Soxkt’s face. “Go on, get pissed. But remember; I ain’t even touched ya yet. You’re doing this all to yourself. Now. Drop ‘em.”  


Soxkt tried to remember what breathing was like but he felt somehow braver holding his breath as he resumed his previous sitting position. The cold Derelict air did nothing to diminish his hardness or how obvious it was. It was like fighting primal instinct to not cover himself but to keep his hands pinned to the floor, a physical struggle that added to his heavy breathing. He shrunk back in shame as the Drifter whistled low.  


“You been keepin’ this from me the whole time? Shit, shoulda started cheatin’ sooner.” The Drifter casually threw out as he ignored Soxkt’s outraged facial expression. He didn’t mind openly staring at Soxkt’s rigid cock, the fabric straining against his stiffness, it beginning to twitch under Drifter’s unapologetic gaze. Soxkt was panting, his anger and frustration losing themselves in his need. The Drifter wrenched his eyes away to look at Soxkt’s face.  


“Heh. Would ya look at that. Your true colors are startin’ to come out.” The Drifter leaned over, grabbing the whiskey bottle still by Soxkt’s side and pulling it over to him. “Tell Drifter what you want.”  


Soxkt shook his head firmly, lips tightening. It was impossible. He couldn’t speak like this.  


“Not a choice. Come on. Give me something, Starlight.” Drifter’s tone was no longer a command. In fact, it was hard to place. In another man of less dubious nature, it might even across as begging. He was reaching for something.  


Soxkt’s rapid breathing wasn’t helping in forming sentences, even if his voice would’ve let him do as much and he whined in frustration at his body’s limitations. But he knew the Drifter wasn’t budging on this. The look he was fixed with was serious. A man wanting payment.  


“P-please…”  


“Please what, baby?”  


Soxkt made a gentle sound at the docile name. “D-do...do you want...me?” His brain pounded out angrily with each word he said. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. What is wrong with you?  


“Do you wanna see?”  


Soxkt was nodding before he even knew what that meant. But he felt his heart skip in his chest as the Drifter, his expression an enigma, sighed and pulled off his jacket. He left it crumpled next to his gauntlets and pressing his back into the railings for leverage, lifted his hips and, with a bit of struggle against the belts and wrappings under him, pulled the front of his pants down.  


He had just pulled them down enough to show what he wanted to show; the bulging outline of his own hardness through his drawers, poking out from over his waistband. Soxkt felt the breath leave his body in a long rush of air, the reality of what was happening dizzying more than the alcohol he had been drinking. The suspension of disbelief that had hung around all night, the idea of the Drifter waving his hand and breaking this erotic illusion was gone. It was almost hard to look at him through his own stinging embarrassment and shyness but he was far too enticed to draw his obvious gaze away.  


Something had shifted in the Drifter too. A brief glance into the impatient hunger of the dark man. He was still trying to smile with the same aloof smugness as before but his breathing was labored and his gaze was devouring Soxkt with its teeth. He wasn’t as immune to the game as he had been seeming. He waited for Soxkt’s eyes to meet his before he grabbed at himself, running a firm grip along his length, and he chuckled breathlessly at the gasp the Awoken gave to it.  


“I told you I’m not one for being slow. But I’m a sucker for watching you run yourself into the ground for me, Starlight. Watchin’ you tonight has been...shit, something else.” His voice was low and rough in his throat. He wet his throat with the whiskey bottle he drank from like water. “And trust. When you bring yourself to your lowest, Drifter’s gonna be there to make it worthwhile.”  


“...I deal now.”  


The Drifter handed the cards over, slapping them into Soxkt’s palm. The silence hung thick as the cards were dealt, neither one of them knowing how to handle this tension properly. It was a tightrope’s walk of pretending this game even mattered anymore at this point.  


“I tell myself to play nice and fair with the other Guardians but I watch you like a damn hawk when you’re on the field, Starlight.” Drifter’s tone was... different. He had given up the ghost on picking at Soxkt’s emotional state and was going for full mental sabotage as the game blazed to the finish line. Soxkt stared at his cards like he gave a shit about them and tried to feel apathy towards the Drifter’s words but he could swear he was sweating in this cold from the sheer heat radiating off his body.  


“I love stroking that ego of yours in the comms and watching you get cocky mowing things and people down. I get all kinds of distracted when I think about the things I’d love to do to tear that smug look off your face.” Shit, what did this suit go with again? Soxkt could feel the rules of this game practically leaking out of his ears. He couldn’t even tell if Drifter was looking at the cards he was flipping anymore. He knew if he looked up at him, he’d be losing the actual game played over this one.  


“How long you think I been wantin’ this?” Drifter’s voice dropped low, forcing Soxkt to divert more of his attention to trying to hear it. Especially when Soxkt wanted the answer to that hanging question more than anything. “How long you think I been watchin’ your pretty face strut onto my Derelict and thought about what I’d have to do to get you under me?”  


“Y-you…”  


“Quiet. I ain’t finished.” He paused and Soxkt heard the long gulping and the glass bottom of the whiskey thudding back onto the floor. “And I saw how you looked at me all that time. You hated me. You hated whatever the hell I was doin’ to you. And you still wanted it anyways.” Soxkt swallowed, humiliation running like honey down his back. This was...a three of a kind. That was good, right? He held his breath. Maybe he could come out of this with some dignity.  


“I should’ve just fucked you against that wall after you tried to play around and call me a coward, tryna be ‘cute’. Only reason I didn’t is cause if I started choking you, I don’t know if I would’ve stopped. I don’t know what I would’ve done.”  


Soxkt saw the last card get flipped and his heart jumped into his mouth. No, he remembered now. This was a flush. Probably. It was one of the high ranking ones. He actually could maybe win this. Drifter had fallen silent and was waiting, damn patient, damn quiet, and Soxkt let himself breathe as he laid his cards in front of him with a sense of finality.  


The last cards in the Drifter’s hand hit the catwalk. Even Soxkt remembered what that one was with clarity. A royal flush. The most obvious bullshit cheat. There never was a damn game to win.  


“Game over, Starlight.”  


Neither one of them were looking at the cards between them. They were locked in watching each other, stock still as a predator stalking his knowing prey. Soxkt seemed strangely calm on the outside, aside from the rattling breaths he was taking that matched the Drifter’s.  


“Pay up, kid.” It was not a nice voice Drifter was asking with. Soxkt felt himself grinning, just like before, unable to contain the rushing thrill the man’s anger gave him. He wanted to crack the Drifter’s exterior and push his fingers into the shadows he encased. He wanted whatever ugly darkness was stirring in him. He wanted the cruel look in his eye to come through in his hands and the way they touched. So he pushed himself to speak against the way his throat closed with fear.  


“Come take it then.”  


Viper quick, the Drifter’s hand wrapped itself around Soxkt’s ankle and yanked. Soxkt lost his balance in an instant and his back slammed against the floor of the walk as he was pulled forward, feeling the pieces of their game scatter around him. He tried to pull back but the Drifter was already on top of him, mouth of his neck, one hand roughly palming Soxkt between the legs. The sudden spike in pleasure ripped a loud cry from Soxkt’s throat as he tried to squirm free for some relief but the Drifter’s body was keeping him pinned in place. He could feel the Drifter’s hot breath against his skin, huffing like an animal, and the teeth sinking into the place where his neck met his shoulder. Soxkt felt the skin near break under his bite and he hated how clearly he could hear his own cries echoed back at him from the uncaring expanse of the ship.  


“Take it, huh? That what you said? Is this what you wanted?” The Drifter snarled, yanking down Soxkt’s underwear without fanfare, grabbing at him, possessive. “This what you been waiting for, you fucking whore?” Drifter had a gut feeling for a while Soxkt’s sounds would be golden to hear but he couldn’t have expected just how good it was to hear the boy sound so obscene under his touch. Or how loud he would be. That was a fun surprise.  


Drifter worked Soxkt’s length in his hand hard and fast and he felt the Awoken’s hands press into his shoulders, fruitlessly trying to pry himself free. “I’ve been puttin’ up with that damn mouth of yours all night. You think I don’t know what you’re playin’ at, boy? Tryna get me mad so I’ll take advantage of ya? You dirty little freak.”  


“F-f-fuck, oh gods oh gods, fuck, w-wait, WAIT, ah, ah-!”  


The Drifter stopped in his stroking, lifting himself slightly to look down at Soxkt. His face was red and his eyes were squeezed shut, his breathing erratically trying to be put under control. Drifter felt his cock twitch again in his grasp and looked down. Precum was leaking onto Soxkt’s stomach. The Awoken moaned in frustration, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes, clawing away from the edge he nearly tripped right over.  


“...Heheheh. Oops. Maybe I got you too riled up.”  


“S-shut up…”  


“You want me that bad, huh? A little dirty talkin’, a little gamblin’, a couple strokes and you’re ready to blow?”  


“Shut up!”  


“Or else what?”  


“I s-swear I’m g-going to-”  


“Gonna what?” The harsh words snapped Soxkt’s mouth shut with a small whine and he moved his hands from his eyes, peeking up at the Drifter. His heart felt like it was going to pop under the intense look the Drifter was giving him.  


“I-I...I do. Want you.”  
Drifter made a rough, hungry sound in his throat, moving his hands to slide them both under Soxkt’s hips, pulling him closer.  
“Yeah? How bad?”  


“F-fuck, really...really…” Soxkt ran his hands up the Drifter’s face, hooking the headband through his fingers and slowly pulling it off. The Drifter leaned into the touch slightly, eyes closing briefly at the soft hands on his rough face.  


“You got me, Starlight. I said to trust, didn’t I? I’ll treat you as bad as you want.”  


Drifter’s mouth pressed hard against his and the fever was back. Soxkt wrapped his arms around his neck, letting the kiss overtake him and dominate his mouth. The Drifter’s nails ran red lines down Soxkt’s back and over his ass before squeezing hard in both hands. Soxkt’s cock was locked between both bodies, the heated shifting of the two rubbing against it but not enough to push him over the edge, just enough that Soxkt couldn’t forget how hard the Drifter made him before he even touched him. The Drifter didn’t kiss him long; he liked the noises Soxkt’s mouth made too much to keep it covered for long, even if he did love the feeling of overpowering Soxkt’s tongue with his own. He bit and sucked on his neck, teeth marks and the buddings of bruises trailing his path, only spurred on more with every pitiful sound he was awarded with.  


The Drifter’s mouth moved to Soxkt’s scarred chest, the roughness of his beard a sweet contrast to the gentle rolling of his tongue on his skin. He reached a hand up, mindlessly shoving two of his fingers into Soxkt’s gasping mouth as he focused on Soxkt’s perked nipples, their hardness aided by the cold of the ship. Soxkt enthusiastically latched onto his fingers, stifling his moans to focus his efforts on making the case to why he should be allowed to service Drifter elsewhere the same way. He was careful of his teeth as he sucked on the fingers, trying to match himself to the Drifter’s own hungry mouth on him. His body twitched sharply as the Drifter increased the pressure of his mouth on the sensitive nubs and he responded to Soxkt’s bodily reaction by pushing his fingers down deeper. Soxkt let him explore his willing mouth, pushing the boundaries of his gag reflex, taking all he was given. Feeling his scar rub against the Drifter’s skin threatened to pluck at Soxkt’s insecurities but there was no room in his head to think about it. Not when he was losing himself in the taste of the Drifter, not when the Drifter was running his teeth down the skin of his pecs.  


The Drifter moved fast, and he pulled his fingers free from Soxkt’s mouth to move down to nip and mouth at his stomach, his large hands running carelessly over the network of scars, digging his nails into the soft skin, growling deep in his chest when Soxkt yelped. He pushed himself back up and Soxkt had no fear in being the one to reach his arms up and pull Drifter into their kiss, his fingers adoringly pushing through the black hair, keeping himself soft in touch even as the Drifter groped at him aggressively. He loved contrasting to him. He loved the Drifter taking advantage of his gentleness. The sound he made when the Drifter bit at his jaw was obscene and he felt the Drifter smirk even through his feral haze.  


“I felt ya showin’ off earlier. C’mere and show me how talented you can be.” The Drifter practically whispered in a husky drawl, pulling himself off Soxkt. It was a quick scramble, a rapid readjustment as the Drifter seated himself back against the rails again and Soxkt quickly crawled between his legs, all this made all the faster by Drifter’s iron grip in the back of Soxkt’s hair. It wasn’t needed. Soxkt was clearly desperate enough to hurry. But it felt too good to watch that face twist in blissful pain when his hand jerked him closer.  


He made quick work of his own gi while Soxkt began to pull at the belts around his waist. As he made himself bare chested and began to lift his hips to aid in disrobing himself, a clattering sound hit the catwalk. Both eyes turned slowly to look at the long bowie knife that fell from the folds of the Drifter’s clothes, exact location unknown. Drifter grinned guiltily, half shrugging. “Just, uh, habit. Don’t worry, not meant for you.” He paused and then rapidly patted the rest of himself down quickly, pulling a second smaller knife from the side of his boot and sliding it away. “Alright, clear.”  


The intensity of the moment slowed a little as Soxkt giggled, shaking his head at the ridiculousness, going quiet as he took in the Drifter’s bare chest fully now. It was scarred like his but different, worse, meaner. The Drifter took Soxkt’s hesitant hands and pressed them against his chest encouragingly. “Yeah, unlike you, I know where all this shit came from.” He murmured, still smiling, still looking strangely guilty. 

“Handsome.” Soxkt breathed softly, his hands slowly running across the expanse of muscle and skin, playing along the scars with reverence. Drifter laughed lightly, smiling at the warm soft touch on himself, cupping Soxkt’s face with one hand. 

“Listen to you, sweetheart. Tryna sweet talk an ugly bastard like me.” Soxkt’s grin was lopsided, drunk on a lack of inhibitions and need and a little bit of whiskey.  


It was a smile that kickstarted the engine in Drifter’s chest and he wrapped his hands around Soxkt’s wrists, keeping eye contact as he slowly dragged the hands lower down his chest, relishing in watching Soxkt’s smile drop slowly to that nervous coy excitement. Soxkt’s hands tried to slow their descent by resisting but that just made the Drifter smile with only teeth as he squeezed hard. “Backin’ out?” He taunted. Soxkt tried to look mad and Drifter felt the resistance in his hands lessen. With a quick drop, Drifter wrapped Soxkt’s hand around his still contained member, grunting as he pressed himself into Soxkt’s touch. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment and his breathing hitched as Soxkt began to stroke on his own, the Drifter’s large hand over his only a guide. He was being slow, careful, eager enough to please to take his time and see what made this old man purr. Drifter played along, grinding his hips into the exploring hands.  


“Ain’t this what you wanted? All that Gambit and puttin’ up with my bullshit...was it worth it?” Drifter teased between his heavy breathing and heavy lidded eyes. Soxkt’s face burned and he could only give a tiny, reluctant nod. “Ain’t worth it just yet.” Drifter corrected him, hooking his thumb under his waistband and pulling down. His dick popped out, rock hard against the Drifter’s navel, and Soxkt’s play at hesitance was forgotten as he quickly moved his hands to explore. He was big. Soxkt hated that a little and he hated how impressed he was too. He stroked him long and slow, letting himself play on the fantasies to come, feeling the soft skin in his palm. It was easily the least scarred and softest part of the Drifter.  


Drifter felt his ego swell along with his member thanks to Soxkt’s admiring gaze and gentle touch. “Not compensating for anything, am I?” Drifter pinched Soxkt’s cheek and Soxkt snapped his teeth at the fingers. Drifter was faster and his hand dodged the bite, only to lock itself back around Soxkt’s neck, catching the Awoken by surprise. “Be nice, Starlight. I don’t think you’re ready to see me be real mean yet.” The Drifter threatened like it was sweet talking and Soxkt reacted similarly with his wide eyes and his panting mouth, though the panting was more due to the suddenly limited airflow he had. Drifter let go and Soxkt looked almost disappointed but the feeling faded fast as the Drifter’s hand found home again at the base of Soxkt’s skull and directed him down.  


Soxkt tried not thinking of his sexual encounters too much after they occurred. In typical day time settings, they were far too embarrassing to dwell on in any amount for his weak heart, regardless of how explicit the encounter got. But he wasn’t shy with himself about one fact; he was good with his mouth. And there was never a time he wanted to prove himself more, on top of the added bonus he had no reason anymore to try and play around hiding his scar. As he followed the hand in his hair down, bringing himself low between the Drifter’s legs, back arched, he rolled his tongue out. He ran it long and slow along the length of the Drifter, smiling at the immediate reaction he got in the form of a gentle gasp. The warmth under his tongue, the veins, the softness, they spurred him on eagerly. He pulled back, repeating his slow exploration, covering whatever surface was available to him along the Drifter’s cock. Drifter’s hand remained tight in his hair but he was by no means interfering with Soxkt, his eyes shut and mouth hung open as he drank the feeling in.  


Soxkt moved himself to the head of the Drifter’s cock, his lips wrapping and closing around it in tender kiss to the sensitive spot. The Drifter hissed through his teeth as Soxkt fully pushed the head into his mouth, circling with his tongue. The grip softened and slowly the Drifter’s fingers ran through Soxkt’s hair, gentle and encouraging. Soxkt pushed back against the hand affectionately, much like a cat and the Drifter felt his heart ache. Soxkt took him down slowly, inch by inch, savoring this long daytime daydream come to life. It was the sweetest satisfaction to render Drifter unable to taunt him, much as he enjoyed his mean words. And the sounds he made when Soxkt began to push his cock down the length of his throat were sinful.  


“F-fuck baby, there you go, there you fucking go, just like that.” The Driftered muttered encouragement, both his hands holding Soxkt’s head, urging him to go deeper every time he pulled up to breathe. Soxkt felt the saliva running down his face as he pushed himself harder and harder, not giving in to his need to gag until he bottomed out on the Drifter’s length. The Drifter’s grip tightened then as he swore in a choked voice, a silent beg for Soxkt not to stop. Soxkt pulled up to breathe but the hands were already guiding him back down again. He reached up, gently touching the back of one of Drifter’s hands, pressing it firmer into his hair, a silent give of permission. The Drifter took back his control, gripping himself around Soxkt as he moved his mouth up and down his length. Soxkt moaned, the vibrations of his mouth adding to the pleasure swallowing the Drifter whole. Soxkt strained to try and hear the soft words the Drifter was still muttering under his breath, most of it words lost to his mumbling but his name came out clear over and over again.  


Soxkt.  


With a popping sound, the Drifter lifted Soxkt’s mouth fully off of his dick, letting him have a moment to breathe before pulling his mouth against his. He tasted himself on Soxkt’s tongue and there was something intoxicating about such a dirty little secret tasting like him. He pulled on Soxkt’s lip with his teeth as he pulled him into his lap, one hand kneading Soxkt’s ass, his free hand stroking himself, thick with drool still. Soxkt’s free hand was stroking himself too, slowly, and he moaned into the Drifter’s mouth a string of indistinguishable curses.  


“Do you want it, baby?”  


“Y-yes.”  
“Do you want me to fuck the life outta ya? That what you want?”  


“G-god, p-please, please…”  


“You want it to hurt? You wanna get fucked like the whore you are?” The Drifter’s nails raked sharp lines down Soxkt’s ass and Soxkt keened, holding onto the Drifter for dear life as the scratches burned into him. “Tell me to fuck you, Starlight.”  


“F-fuck, oh god, fuck me-!”  


“Bend over. NOW.”  


Soxkt was off the Drifter and face down into the floor of the catwalk before he even knew it. He was motivated by fear, the fear of this ending, the fear of losing this moment. He would’ve done anything asked of him, anything at all. Anything to stay in this space of not thinking, not pretending, not lying. He raised his ass into the air, trying to crane his neck to find the Drifter but he couldn’t turn in time to expect the teeth sinking into his hip. He yelped and the Drifter gave a small laugh, hands finding the divets of his hips and sinking his fingers in to keep him pulled close. He nipped again at Soxkt’s sensitive skin before lifting back up, adjusting Soxkt like a doll against him until he was at his entrance, Drifter’s cock hot and wet against Soxk.  


“Hands where I can see them.”  


Soxkt moved his arms behind his back without a fight, locking his fingers together. The Drifter grunted in appreciation and Soxkt waited with bated breath. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears as his nerves mounted but he was rewarded shortly after, feeling the Drifter’s fingers push inside him. They were slow but firm, not wasting time in being gentle, still wet with Soxkt’s saliva. Soxkt led the Drifter on where to press and curl by the sounds elicited from him. Drifter loved to press and toy with wherever pulled the nicest sounds to him, until he noticed the Awoken was pressing back against his hand, on purpose or just primal instinct. Soxkt whined in protest when the fingers pulled out of him but was quickly silenced by the Drifter repositioning his cock’s head against him.  


“Say it.”  


“F-fuck me…”  


“Go on.”  


“D-Drifter…”  


That wasn’t what he was intending but damned if that wasn’t the best way he heard his name said in all his long lives. It was encouragement plenty, damn whatever else he wanted to hear him say. He directed himself into Soxkt’s entrance, pushing himself in, and Soxkt made a sound like he was being paid to make it. For all his aggression and mean posturing, Drifter took him down slow, gentle, easy. He hushed the hisses of pain that popped in between Soxkt’s moaning, his rough hands rubbing his back soothingly, muttering to him softly. And when he bottomed out, he made a sound deep in his chest to let Soxkt know just how proud he was.  


Soxkt arched more at the Drifter’s hand on the small of his back, rocking back against him gentle, accommodating himself to the Drifter’s size. No rush. No need to hurry. Soxkt blearily started out at the cold expanse of floor under him. He’d never be able to run Gambit again without seeing this catwalk and melting through the floor. The Drifter’s hand gripped Soxkt’s wrists tightly, his second hand keeping a firm lock on the dip in his hips.  


And when he pulled back and thrust right back to the base, Soxkt’s vision danced with stars.  


The Drifter kept his word. He fucked him hard. The catwalk shuddered with the Drifter’s deep thrusting as he fucked Soxkt into the flooring. Soxkt felt his cheek scrape against the floor but the Drifter’s grip didn’t let him scoot far no matter how hard he railed into him. He tried to say something, do anything to convey how goddamn right this was but he was reduced only to a high toned cry of pleasure with each push inside him. Drifter was quiet aside from his heavy breathing and grunting.  


No more talking. No more circling. No more games. They’d been reduced to feral things.  


Soxkt didn’t know how much more he could take, his sensitive cock untouched but so close, the spot inside him being rammed into so disrespectfully, so good. But the speed and erratic thrusting only kicked up a notch and Soxkt knew Drifter was close. His huffing was only getting louder and Soxkt felt his hips bruise where the iron grip was.  


“F-fuck, say my name again sweetheart, god damnit I need to hear you say it!”  


“Drifter, oh god Drifter, y-yes-!”  


The feeling of Drifter latching onto him, pumping into him in short bursts, his cum already leaking down the back of his leg, was almost enough to make him follow close behind without touching himself at all. Drifter snarled, nails digging into Soxkt’s back, making him twist in sweet pain. They stayed like that for a moment, Soxkt’s nails pressing into the indents of the floor, unsticking his cheek from the metal as the Drifter inch by inch pulled himself free. Soxkt shuddered as the Drifter pulled out of him fullh and he pulled his hands free of the grip that had gone lax on his wrists. He began to lift himself from the floor but the continued silence from the Drifter should’ve made him know to worry.  


The hands on his hips flipped him and he smacked onto the floor, back first, reaching up to rub the back of his head but the Drifter had other things for him to worry about. A hand wrapped around his throat and squeezed, pinning him effortlessly. There was no give to the grip, no safety taken to make sure he could breathe or that his windpipe wouldn’t be crushed from the pressure. He clawed at the Drifter’s hand but he was already struggling to find any strength in his limbs with no oxygen pumping through him, his eyes wide with panic. Without a chance to breathe or fight back, his attention was forced to focus solely on the agonizingly good feeling of the Drifter’s firm grip on his cock, stroking it slowly. He had been hard for far too long and the constant edge of pleasure he was dragged from left him a sensitive mess. He wanted to find any respite in squirming free but the Drifter’s pin on him kept him from even that. His hands were so warm and rough and so uncaring for the way they handled him. When Soxkt’s eyes did open and blearily lock onto the Drifter’s face, he was entranced by the horrible look locked onto him. His mouth worked uselessly to try and say something, anything.  


“Well well, now you feel like talkin’, don’t ya?” It’s now hard to tell the difference now between the excitement and anger in the Drifter’s voice, the encouraging tone and the insulting condescentation. “You got something you wanna say to me? Something worth my time hearin’?” Soxkt tried to nod, his eyes pleading. “Don’t waste my time then.” The hand on Soxkt’s throat gives way.  


Soxkt knows he should use this moment of time to gasp deeply, take long breaths to refill his deprived lungs. It might be the only time he gets. But he cares more about his own masochistic need than any smart move he should make. So instead he only takes in enough air to hoarsely whine “Please.” and prays it’s the right wrong answer.  


The fingers return to squeezin his throat with new vigor and he would be smiling in victory if the hand on his cock wasn’t squeezing him just as tight, the Drifter’s thumb toying with the underside of his sensitive cockhead as he kept him there, inches from the edge. Soxkt’s hips tried to rise from the floor but he couldn’t get any friction to push himself there.  


“Please?! You got the fucking nerve to try and BEG me? You out of your goddamn mind?” The Drifter’s words ignited a wave of shame to course through Soxkt, white needles of pleasure that came down over and over. The frustration on the Drifter’s feral smile was almost as erotic as the hands on his body.  


“You sick freak, you just can’t help yourself anymore can you?” Black spots started appearing in Soxkt’s vision but the Drifter’s hand was starting to pump at him again and it was more than worth the lack of breathing he was capable of. “No more prideful hero shit, no more being the good dog of the vanguard, no more pretendin’. THIS-” The speed of stroking increased. “is who you really are, huh?”  


He was so close. The burning in his lungs matched the burning in his lower stomach. He wasn’t trying to pry the hand off his throat anymore. He just clung to the Drifter’s wrist like a lifeline. Everything was going hazy. The fear of passing out couldn’t find a place to settle in his addled mind. It didn’t matter. He didn’t care. Anything was worth it. Judging by the grin the Drifter wore, Soxkt must’ve been quite a sight underneath him now.  


“No more hidin’ baby. I always knew you were a bad person.”  


The stroking continued, no stopping, no squeezing, and right before he fell over the other side, the Drifter’s hand eased on his throat just a little. As Soxkt gasped in, the orgasm hit him like a train, driven by the force of the entire’s nights built up shame being condensed in the Drifter’s final words. His hands scrambled to find purchase on the Drifter’s arm as the pleasure pulsed through him over and over again and he felt himself cumming high up on his chest from the force of his finishing. The Drifter stroked him through his orgasm and Soxkt’s voice rang throughout the Derelict as he cried out drawn out loud desperate sounds, his eyes rolling back. At some point he stopped cumming but the hand was still stroking him real slow and soft now, making sure it dragged out every bit of pleasure from him.  


They both stayed there, breathing in sync, for a while, slowly breaking the fever and coming back to sound minds. Drifter pulled himself from his stupor first, having had the most time to recover, and he slowly lifted himself up. “Just...stay there for a second.” He said which got him a tired, sarcastic laugh from Soxkt. As though he had the where with all to even think about moving. Soxkt watched him out of the corner of his eye as he hurriedly yanked his boots back on and rush down the catwalk, a ridiculous display before he closed his eyes. He might’ve dozed off if left alone for much longer but the Drifter came back eventually and Soxkt felt warm and wet cloth rub across his chest. “Here I was thinkin’ I prepared everything but no, gotta run my bare ass back through that stupid snow and almost eat shit rushin’ and- Soxkt?” Soxkt’s eyes opened at the concerned tone, his brow pulling together in confusion as the Drifter was looking down at him, startled.  


The hand that had been wrapped around his throat moments ago moved up to his cheek. A calloused thumb wiped gently across his face, as tender a touch as it was curious. Soxkt only realized then that at some point he had started crying silently, unconsciously, hot tears streaking down the sides of his face. He quickly turned away from the gentle touch on his face and raised his hands to hurriedly wipe at the tears with panicked frustration. Soxkt pulled himself away from under the Drifter, pulling the towel from his limp hand, and tried to stop his crying, steadying his breathing. The Drifter just watched silently as he pulled himself together again.  


Soxkt stared at the cracks in the catwalk. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at the man across from him, after all of that. This shame was different. This shame was dark, cold, weak.  


“I-I’m...sorry.” Soxkt mumbled low and the Drifter raised his hand.  


“I don’t wanna hear it. But... I also can see you don’t wanna talk about it either.” The Drifter gave a pregnant pause, as though waiting to be proven wrong, before sighing softly. “Ain’t a big deal. You, uh...alright, we are into some fucked up stuff. It can do this sometimes. I don’t judge you or think anything of it.”  


Soxkt gave a tired chuckle. “Pity... from you?”  


The Drifter’s brow furrowed. “Ain’t pity, kid. Can’t a man just be nice?”  


Soxkt shrugged. Could he? Drifter grimaced. Fair enough.  


It was a reset to normal. Both of them pulled clothes on again and made themselves into semblance of neatness and put back on the faces they showed the rest of the world. Soxkt glanced at the glimmer he technically lost on the floor and scooped it back up fast. Drifter didn’t pay much mind. It wasn’t the goal of the game anyways. Neither of them spoke until Soxkt’s jacket zipper signified his preparation to leave.  


“So...first and last time?”  


The look of open hurt on Soxkt’s face made the Drifter blanch and he quickly raised his hands. “Whoa whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on. I’m just guessin’ over here! I’m just...assumin’ by uh…Guess I’m just making an ass of myself actually.”  


Soxkt looked at the ground, guilty, and dug the toe of his boot into the catwalk. Drifter rubbed the back of his head, uncertain. He had been trying to avoid this very scenario but he guessed there was no way around it. Not when things reached the level they went to.  


“C...can I come back?” Soxkt’s voice was soft and shy and it took a lot of effort for Drifter to not start howling at how different it was to the voice that echoed through the Derelict ten or so minutes ago. He turned away to hide his amused smile and the strange relief he felt.  


“Heh. You got yourself addicted to this already?” He teased and Soxkt huffed. He came forward and pushed the Drifter’s shoulder so they were face to face again. He was back to signing.  


“We both get something out of this, don’t we?”  


“Relax, I’m just messin’ with ya. You’re gonna drop dead if you keep being so serious.” The Drifter pulled him close by the waist, dropping his voice and leaning in. “I’m never gonna say no to a little mutual...stress relieving. And excuse my filthy mouth Starlight but you fuck me real good. And you give one hell of a show.” The Drifter’s lips smirked against his ear and Soxkt squirmed in his embrace. The Drifter freed him without much of a fight and pushed his hands into his pocket. “Answer enough?”  


Soxkt fixed his jacket, rubbing his hands over each other, nodding carefully. “Y-yeah…” he muttered in reply, smiling at the floor when he saw the Drifter perk up at his voice, even a little bit. There was no proper way to say goodbye to this kind of night so he was grateful when the Drifter turned on his heel, lifting one hand as he walked away, to wherever the rest of the ship led into.  


“You’re always welcome on the Derelict, Starlight.” The tongue in cheek line charmed Soxkt and he hated knowing it. A blink later and he was back in his ship, miles away from the Derelict and the haul hooked to it. He never knew how much the smaller interior of his ship comforted him until coming back from the darkness of Drifter’s. He turned on every light as he walked to his pilot’s chair, sitting down with a wince. Gods, all of him hurt. Soxkt leaned back in his chair and grinned to himself, happy in his hazy mind, giving himself the next few hours to not process this experience.  


That was the goal.  


“Where the hell ARE we? Is that the DRIFTER’S ship?” Soxkt slowly turned in his chair to where his Ghost had appeared, his tinny voice groggy and frustrated and only growing shriller.  


“Um.”  
“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK, GUARDIAN?!”  


Soxkt slumped in his chair, eyes wide, giving a silent goodbye to his peaceful rest of the night as he rubbed his hand over his skin. He could still feel the teeth marks.  


He let his Ghost have at him, floating there in space, as his fingers touched the ragged flesh under his fingertips softly, memorizing the way it felt, every indent it had cut in him.  


He wondered if the Drifter was somewhere on that ship knowing exactly what he was doing too. And for once, he didn’t curl away from the idea of the Drifter’s infinite personal knowledge of him. He lost himself in the hope of it, his golden eyes glazing over, losing himself in the feeling of what was left of teeth on flesh.


	4. Udon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few times screwing around, Soxkt brings the Drifter a horrible dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, as of 10/31, this is as much shit as I've written for this. I'll absolutely be writing more as time goes on but here is the brief stopping point. Thank you so much if you've read this far. I really doubted anyone would even touch this fic

The long and quiet wait in the shadows and cold was well worthwhile once he heard the carefully placed steps on the stairs, echoing down through the basement of the Tower (try as one Guardian might to be quiet). The Drifter’s head lifted and he smiled at the newly familiar sound to him. This could wait. He slammed shut the hatch of his bank, sealing away the cold and the darkness within it and meandering towards the center of the room. He sometimes wondered if it made him the desperate one to be down here, patiently waiting by himself for those footsteps echoing, but he waved off that concern with his own double thinking. He was being generous to the bashful needs of his main squeeze. A gentleman even, if you could believe it. Besides, he didn’t mind being patient. He’d been rewarded well every time thus far.

Still, tuning himself into the chatter overhead, he figured the Tower was still decently full right now, making this an earlier happy surprise than typical. It wasn’t like the Guardian to be impatient or eager enough to risk being spotted coming down here. Well, not immediately. They had to go through the game of the Guardian acting like he didn’t even want to be there before he got...enthusiastic. Sometimes Drifter got the feeling the shame sat a little too close to the surface, one wrong touch away from being out in the open. But he'd gotten real good at easing that worry away.

Maybe the Guardian had caught wise he wasn’t as free of suspect as he tried to seem. No doubt he’d been seen in many more Gambit matches by now. He was even showing up alone lately, no fire team to excuse his playing. Another Guardian lured by the thrill and the dangling shiny coin of getting paid handsomely. Drifter never wanted to be the one to tell Soxkt there was no way anyone would be batting an eye at him coming to see him anymore. He secretly thought it just added to the Guardian’s weird little thrill. Pervert.

Drifter pulled himself from his wondering as footsteps echoed on the concrete now, slowing the closer they got to the doorway. His grin widened. He’d been around a long time. He’d figured he’d get sick of the game by now, especially considering what his past sexual encounters typically looked like. But Soxkt had some damn way of making him feel way too young again and young people love their stupid games.

Soxkt’s head poked around the corner and he startled a bit at seeing he was expected. Shyly, peeking up at him like a maiden, the Awoken man crept around and stood in the archway. He was still wearing his ruby colored armor, matching the pulse rifle strapped to his back. Not the most unusual sight. They were busy men. Formalities of attractive clothing weren’t really worth the effort. What was unusual was a brown paper bag he carried low in both of his hands clasped in front of him. Soxkt stared at the Drifter, uncertain, not moving further into the dingy hallway, shuffling nervously.

“Well. What’cha got there, Starlight?” The Drifter bounced the coin off the edge of the railing as he stood up straight, catching it again in his hand as it bounced back. Soxkt's eyes darted to follow the coin before taking his cue to begin stepping forward, a slow and anxious walk. The Drifter watched him carefully as he approached. This was more than the typical nerves of their back and forth. He could practically smell the chaotic overthinking going on in the Guardian’s head. He was also smelling... peanuts?

It was the Drifter’s turn to startle slightly as Ventriloquist whizzed around from behind Soxkt’s head. The Ghost tended to be far away from these interactions for reasons probably…obvious for everyone. Clear distrust and distaste from the Drifter, and some unspoken agreement of a Guardian’s modesty between the two. But now it came forward with Soxkt, speaking like it had been reluctantly fed lines ahead of time.  
“It’s food. Udon, specifically. From that ramen stall.”

Soxkt turned in on himself a little more as he stopped a few feet in front of the Drifter, trying to hide behind his red bangs. The blush had already spread to the tips of his ears. Goddamn, the kid looked like he was going to pop. The Drifter’s head tilted slightly as he moved his gaze up to the Ghost, smile dropping.  


“…And?”  


“He bought you udon, Drifter.”  


“Oh.” His eyes widened a little, his own unconscious script screeching to a halt. He looked back at the shrinking violet in front of him. “Shit. Really?”  


“Yes. Really.” The deadpan tone of the Ghost brought the grin back to the Drifter’s face. At least some things stayed the same consistently.  


The Drifter tilted himself more to the side, forcing himself into Soxkt’s downcast view. “What you goin’ and doin’ a nice thing like that for?” He asked. Soxkt dug his teeth into his bottom lip. Even underneath all the nerves clearly jostling out of him, he still had a hint of a smile on his face at the Drifter’s teasing tone. He peeked his eyes coyly at the Drifter before looking away again.  


His Ghost piped up in reply to the unanswered question. “He just wanted to do something nice. Is that an issue?”  


“Nah. I just don’t typically surround myself with…nice people. And you Guardians don’t do shit for free. Ever.” The Drifter straightened himself, stretching above his head with a groan. “Don’t worry. Drifter remembers people’s favors. You can cash this in…when I let ya.”  


Soxkt had pulled himself together enough to stand up straight, looking up at his Ghost, silently looking for something in the metal eye. He seemed to find whatever it was in their mental conversation as he suddenly ripped the top of the bag open, carefully pulling out a large black takeout bowl, the cardboard still damp with the steam leaking out of the lid. He placed it in the Drifter’s hands, who had gone back to still looking a little dumbfounded, especially as he watched Soxkt pull out a second bowl from the bag, use his foot to pull over an empty crate, and seat himself right there in his hovel. Whatever nerves Soxkt had before were clearly starting to disappear but the Drifter was right back to trying to find the lost script.  


“Oh. You, uh…?”  


Soxkt looked up, balancing the bowl on his lap, already tearing into the chopsticks wrapper with his teeth, eyes wide. His eyes flickered rapidly between Drifter and his Ghost. Ventriloquist weakly scooted forward in the air with a tinny grumble.  


“Ok, well, that’s my bad, I guess, sure. Let me clarify. Soxkt got you BOTH dinner. Because he wants to eat it. With you. If you’re fine with that.”  


The Guardian was frozen like a deer in the headlights as he and the Drifter entered a silent social standoff. Already one hand was scooping under Soxkt’s bowl and Drifter knew if he even flinched, the two would be out of here like a cat out of hell. The tension hung heavy for a moment and the Drifter kinda liked seeing the Awoken drown in awkward dread a little. He didn’t want it to hurt too bad though so finally he barked out a laugh.  


“Ha! That’s what got you all nervous, kid? You killed yourself a handful of Hive gods and you still act like I’m about to kick you like a dog for bein’ near me. Hey Ghost, chopsticks me.”  


Grabbing a crate on his side, he yanked it over, seating himself across from Soxkt, back against the railings, cracking open the lid of the udon and inhaling as the steam began pouring out.  


“Soxkt says you spend most of your time scaring everyone by telling them what a danger you are to be around.” Ventriloquist stated bluntly as he used a string of Light to hover a pair of chopsticks to the Drifter.  


“Yeah but I’m not doin’ the kickin’. Ain't my fault I got some bad mothers on my tail.” The udon smelled heavily of peanuts, spicy and oily, scallions floating on top, as well as chunks of flaking tempura laced into the fat noodles. The Drifter glanced up briefly and sure enough, Soxkt was watching him, ignoring his own food. “You are going to drive me off the edge of the Tower, Starlight. Eat your damn food.”  


Soxkt exhaled and grinned, his smile such an assertive beam of sunlight Drifter was a little grateful to see it disappear as he began to eat. He poked at his own food before he began to eat as well. The Drifter inhaled the food, ripping into the bowl with gusto, the only sound for a while the typical disgusting sounds that come with eating the wettest food. Drifter learned then that he hadn’t realized how weirdly vulnerable it felt to eat in front of someone else. But that was a crock to deal with another time.  


“Brother. What the hell is this I'm eating?”  


Ventriloquist was still hanging around, perched on Soxkt’s shoulders, clearly being utilized as the only possible means for social conversation between Soxkt’s preoccupied hands.  


“It’s disgusting, isn’t it?” Soxkt shot a narrowed eye glare at his Ghost's comment.  


“It’s real gross.”  


“Right?! I knew it had to be! Everyone always looks at us like we’re insane when we order it! I knew it had to be gross!” Ventriloquist exclaimed, shell spinning in passionate validation as Soxkt hunkered more over his bowl, pouting. The two did not take much notice.  


“This ain’t on the menu, is it?”  


“No, it’s a special order.”  


“That poor chef. The tempura, is that-?”  


“Shrimp. Yes. Spicy peanut broth, scallions and shrimp tempura. Also tempura carrots. They usually sink to the bottom.”  


"Why does he do this to himself, eating this willingly more than once?"  


“I think the damage done to his tongue makes him think it tastes good.”  
The Drifter dug around with his chopsticks for a moment while Soxkt dropped his sticks in the bowl and carefully balanced it between his knees to sign indignantly.  


“You’re eating a lot for someone complaining.”  


“I didn’t say it was bad. Just gross.” The Drifter lifted with pride a tempura carrot and popped it into his mouth, moving it to his cheek as he continued to talk. “Besides, I learned early on you don’t refuse a meal. Period. Never know when it’ll be the last one for a while.” He swallowed, smiling lazily. “Nice to see you talking again.”  


“...Hi.”  


“Hi.” Drifter’s eyes looked over at Ventriloquist who had floated off to busy himself, trying to consolidate all debris in the area into a single pile. “You really let him talk about you that way? Ain’t Ghosts supposed to be patting your ass for everything you say and do?”  


Soxkt shook his head, grinning with a wince at the idea of it. “Couldn’t even imagine that. He’s too important to me to be subservient.”  


“Important, huh? I already gave you my piece on not trusting these damn things. But I guess this one’s proven itself to ya if you let it be your voice.”  


“From day one. For all the shit he gives me, he’s worth keeping around.” Soxkt looked over his shoulder to grin at the Ghost who turned to look over at the Guardian, huffing offendedly.  


“I’m also only as hard on him as he deserves, if even that. Like I’m making fun of his udon order right now and in return I will not badger him incessantly for whatever it is he does with you.” The Ghost called out. Soxkt took that as his cue to start eating again, looking sheepish.  


“’Whatever it is’, huh? Do you want to know-?”  


“NO.”  


“Fair enough.” Drifter shrugged good naturedly, pretending to ignore the beet red face of his dining companion as he continued to eat. “I still ain’t believin’ you did this on your own good will. What you bribin’ me for?”  


“He’s not bribing you for anything. Really.” Ventriloquist paused for a moment then continued. “He wants to know what you’d think he’d get out of bribing you.”  


“Same thing all you others want. Double motes on Gambit. A new shiny toy. Something...more. Drifter can make it happen is all I’m sayin’.”  


“Sounds like you just don’t want to accept a free meal.”  


“Everything’s got a price, pipsqueak.”  


Soxkt rested an elbow on his knee, chewing thoughtfully, listening to the conversation he was technically apart of. He moved the bowl back between his knees.  


"Would you accept being here with me as a price?"  


"Nope." The Drifter used his fingers to pop a shrimp tail into his mouth.  


"Why not?"  


"Because I ain't gonna let you get away with sweet talkin' me like that." The Drifter mimicked Soxkt's position, putting his chin in his hand. "That's my job."  


Soxkt chuckled softly, tucking a strand of loose hair behind his ear before picking his bowl back up. Ventriloquist's voice echoed from wherever it had floated off to, calling out loudly.  


"He says you're too good at this shit, Drifter!"  


"Too good at what?" The Drifter's head craned around. "Hey, where the hell did you go?"  


Ventriloquist floated from behind a corner, his strand of Light carrying a growing cluster of trash as he moved about. "Good at acting like you like him."  


"What are you doing to my shit?"  


"Using it to distract from the fact I'm third wheeling on your date."  


The Drifter grunted in minor acceptance, watching as the Ghost floated back around the corner, shuffling uncomfortably as he tried to keep an eye on it before realizing the words spoken to him. "Hey, hold on. Who's sayin' I don't like you, Starlight?"  


Soxkt smirked at the serious expression the Drifter's face suddenly clouded over with. He casually signed "Upset?" with one hand as he continued eating with his free hand, the bowl precariously balanced on his knee.  


"Hm. Funny not seein' you bothered by it." The Drifter made himself comfortable with his back against the railings, drinking deep from the bowl. The silence lingered as the two of them drank, Soxkt lowering his bowl first, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth.  


"Because I'm the one who thinks it."  


The smooth and deep voice came out of nowhere and Drifter knew Soxkt took joy at the wide eyed look he gave him over his own bowl. He was staring at the Drifter something funny, smiling and sitting all relaxed but it wasn't matching up with his tone. Two photographs overlaid atop each other.  


The Drifter cleared his throat of the burn from the broth, dropping the empty bowl to the floor beside him. "You know, you are way too good at sayin' shit that agitates the hell outta me. Every time you open your damn mouth. I'm gettin' why you stay shut up all the time."  


Soxkt broke the held gaze then, blanching slightly, the knuckles gripping the paper bowl tightly. Oops. He didn't mean to hit so true with that comment. Drifter rushed to try and push the conversation where he actually wanted it to go before he had time to get curious over that.  


"You got a problem with me all of a sudden, brother?"  


Soxkt huffed slightly, putting the bowl down by his feet. His hands braced on his knees before he began signing.  


"It's not a problem. I'm fine with it. You don't like anyone, me included."  


"And what has gifted you that revelation if you're so damn smart?"  


"You like everyone."  


The Drifter's laugh was dry and joyless. "You are way out of your depth tryin' psychoanalyze me.”  


“I think I understand you very well.”  


Drifter groaned at that, rubbing his forehead. “Look, take it from me and don't overthink shit. Got it? Keep yourself out of a lot of trouble that way."  


"Are you threatening me?"  


"Jesus kid, no. I'm telling you you're pissing me off and I'm trying to wrap this shit up! Just come out and say whatever it is. Every time I gotta decipher another one of your cryptic lines, I gotta go steal another thing out of Shaxx's stock train to calm down."  


Soxkt placed his hands back on his knees, brow furrowed, thinking, his fingers tapping restlessly. Drifter smiled slightly to himself once he knew the Guardian was too lost in his own head to catch it. He was stupid to ever think Soxkt was just a reckless idiot with his heart on his sleeve. Every conversation was chess if he wanted it to be. Every way he chose to talk was a point of attack. "You were a hell of a force once upon a time, Starlight." The Drifter thought to himself as he watched Soxkt shut his eyes, inhaling deeply before opening them again and looking up. His hands rose.  


"You-"  


The Drifter leaned forward, sticking his hand directly into Soxkt's signing hands. "You thought too long on that. Try again. Simple words, Starlight. C'mon."  


Soxkt looked outraged and he jerked his hands away. Only the Drifter could learn how to interrupt a mute man. He ran his fingers through his hair, humming with frustration before signing again, fast and close to his chest.  


"You don't have to like me."  


"Thanks for the permission but I'm alright."  


"Why did you let me eat with you?"  


"I like lookin' at ya. And when you aren't triple checking everything you say, you're interestin' to talk to. Soxkt, where is this going?"  


Soxkt froze in place. He wasn't getting anywhere with his circling. He knew that now. He just sat stuck to that crate, trying to find the words that would take him to the situation he wanted to put himself in.  


"You worried people know I like you?"  


“…” Soxkt’s hands were silent but still raised, as though bracing for a reply.  


“…Nah. That ain't it. You want me to not like you, don’t you?”  


Soxkt’s head hung low to the floor.  


There it was.  


The bad guy thing. The poking under his skin. The creeping around. Games within games. No wonder the kid overthought everything when they were together.  


Drifter sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his head as he stared at Soxkt's defeated posture. “Lemme guess. This’d be a lot easier if I just treated you like a tool or a lay, huh hotshot?”  


The Guardian looked scared and miserable on his little crate. So damn frightened of him. Not for any physical threat but because every word he said was cutting closer to the core of whatever shit he was carrying around him. He reckoned it was the same shit that had him walking through the door of Gambit in the first place, the same shit that started this whole… thing they had.  


The universe was crumbling to dust around them and yet they couldn't even begin to look at each other right now for fear one of them might feel something too strong. Maybe this is why people are doomed to fail.  


“I know what you’re freaking out over there. Being honest means pushin’ me away and it means admittin’ maybe you don’t want me to go away. And lyin’ just ain’t in your DNA…well, except for me, huh?” The Drifter laughed through his nose, arms crossing.  


Soxkt lifted his head slowly. The fear and sadness had melted into an expression of pure exhaustion. His signing was slow and fluid.  


“Do you know how this feels?”  


“Will it make you feel better if I say I do?”  


Soxkt thought for a moment to himself but continued signing again, ignoring the line of questioning.  


"There's no right answer."  


"Nope."  


"I like you." Soxkt’s hands tucked themselves away after signing that, at least briefly in shame.  


"I know."  


"Why are you okay with that?"  


"Don't you got a whole clan that like you up there?"  


"You were supposed to be different. See through me."  


"Who says I ain't?"  


Soxkt tilted his head. His hands went limp. He looked...genuinely at a loss. The husk that was the Drifter's heart almost ached at that. The Chosen One is running around saving this entire universe and endlessly fighting hordes of The Darkness and he still couldn't fathom someone seeing real good in him.  


“How about we just nip this in the bud, right now? Easy enough?" The Drifter leaned forward, breathing in deeply, hands clasped in front of him.  


“You heard… my tapes, right?” Soxkt nodded. “You read the notes I put on your gear?” Soxkt nodded again. “You heard me tell you what you are to me?” Soxkt started to nod but stopped, looking up quizzically. “I know I did. I know I looked you right in your blue face and told you. You’re runnin’ with me. You’re in this with me. And I got your back long as you keep havin’ mine.”  


“You tell everyone that, don't you?”  


The Drifter held up his empty udon bowl. “And how many of those bastards are buyin’ me dinner?” Soxkt couldn’t help but smile and the worry in his face eased a little. Drifter basked in the tiny accomplishment.  


“What I’m getting at is simple- I already decided I liked you. Whatever you comin’ at me with, I’m takin’. Ol’ Drifter ain’t scared of you or your damn feelings. Long as you know what you gettin’ into with me.” The Drifter took the opportunity to lift himself from the crate, making his way to Soxkt, firstly scooping up Soxkt’s ignored udon bowl. Somehow despite the crate definitely not being built for it, he sat himself next to Soxkt, too busy drinking the broth to notice Soxkt’s fumbling scramble to make room for him as they were squeezed onto the tiny space.  


The Drifter finished the second bowl of broth with a loud, satisfied sigh, eyes shut with contentment. “You think you’re scarier than the damn Darkness coming for our asses? Scarier than shit I know you never seen in your comfy Vanguard? You’re a force to be reckoned with but you ain’t all that, kid.”  


He dropped the bowl by his feet and turned slightly to face Soxkt, one arm raising up to press against one of the rails as he leaned in. Soxkt stared back at him, unflinching from the miniscule distance between them. What little space still existed between them crackled with energy. When the Drifter did speak, he kept his voice low and deep.  


“Let’s make this easy, for both of us. Neither of us got time for second guessing. I’ll take what’s given... and you hold what’s mine.”  


Soxkt leaned back against the railings, his head softly hitting the inside of the Drifter’s elbow. The crease in his brow was still there but he nodded anyways. They sat like that for a while, Drifter patiently waiting for the Awoken to put himself back together piece by piece before he rose his eyes from where they had been glazed over on the floor. He shoved with his hips. Drifter stumbled, quickly catching himself on his feet before falling on his ass off the crate and onto the floor.  


“You son of a bitch, that’s my damn crate!”  


Soxkt burst into a loud laugh that resounded in the empty room, laughing only harder when the Drifter grumbled, giving the crate a small kick. He lifted himself, beginning to reach down and pick up the empty bowls but a lasso of Light snatched them from his fingertips.  


“I got them. Just let me. I’m almost done.” Ventriloquist said, quickly scurrying with the bowls to add to the condescended mountain of trash shoved in the corner of the room, conveniently hidden behind the bank of motes.  


“He’s a little neurotic, ain’t he?”  


“Thank you is what I’m sure you meant to say but were too dense to remember. And you’re welcome!”  


Soxkt clapped twice and his Ghost responded to the cue, quickly dropping the strings of Light he was stretching out still and obediently floating back across the room, if not a little slower than normal. Soxkt caught the Drifter watching him and smiled, signing.  


“Do I get a thank you?”  


“Why? Thought my presence was good payment enough.”  


A little universal sign language told the Drifter what Soxkt thought of that and it was his turn to laugh. He didn’t know how to say any of the other shit that laid on the table between them now. He didn’t even know how to thank him for the meal, the company, the cathartic talk. Or goodbye. But Soxkt must’ve taken his warning to heart as he was already walking away, only looking briefly over his shoulder once as he began the walk back up the life of the Tower.  


“Coward.”  


The Drifter turned sharply and stared at Ventriloquist who suddenly was floating inches from his face.  


“What?”  


“You should’ve kissed him or something.”  


The Drifter stared, his mouth still lifted into a sneer at the word that slowly turned back into a smirk as he watched Soxkt’s back walk further and further away behind the Ghost.  


“Yeah? Which one of you’s sayin’ that?”  


“Me. Because I don’t want to deal with his pining all week. And for the record, he’s a coward too. Nothing personal. Ok, maybe a little.”  


“You’re a selfish little bastard, ain’t ya? Fine then. Let me rectify that real quick..” The Drifter’s hand moved quick and his large fingers were suddenly curled under the painted metal shell. The Ghost yelped and strained in his tight grasp but he kept hold as he brought the Ghost close to his mouth.  


“Hey, Starlight.”  


Soxkt jumped about a foot in the air, one hand clapping to his ear at the sudden close voice before he turned around, annoyance turning to confusion turning to something a bit hard to place. The Drifter watched him, grinning, keeping the Ghost close to his mouth but dropping his voice a bit as he continued talking.  


“Come back soon, yeah? And get better taste in udon.”  


He let the Ghost go, which immediately vanished and reappeared over the shoulder of his Guardian, gasping out aggravated profanities, glancing at Soxkt for backup. Eventually, he gave up and vanished in a small sprinkle of light. Soxkt’s face journeyed through trying to find the right emotion to settle on before he eventually chose the easiest option for both of them.  


He bit the corner of his lip, grinning, his tone coy and sweet.  


“Hm. Have a... good reason for me to?”  


“Come ‘ere and find out.”  


Some things stayed the same.


	5. Zipper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soxkt makes a stupid decision under the guise of education to see his new 'friend' again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can't fathom people reading and enjoying this but fuck it, more porn for ya under a thousand layers of character study

The fireteam’s feet hit the Derelict’s floor in unison as their transmats fired off, the only sound in the currently empty ship. Somewhere in the planet below a Gambit match was raging on, ringing the ship with an eerie silence in absence of the Guardians typically waiting. The only sound that followed the crackling of their arrival came from the portal that sprung to life in front of the fireteam with a monstrous roar, swirling white light beckoning them forward and illuminating the area, casting long shadows along the cold catwalk and up the curved walls of glass that typically housed Guardians eager for battle.  


There was a small clicking sound and the man at the front of the party tucked his Celestial Nighthawk under his arm, turning to look at the gold and black robed Warlock who seemed dazed at the back of the party. He flashed a massive grin, sweeping a hand through his purple hair with a flourish. “See? I told you it would be easy to sneak you in! I’ve done it a THOUSAND times!” He announced at maximum volume, owing him a rib in the stomach from the dark armored Hunter next to him.  


The Warlock was rotating to look around the empty ship, turning to face his expectant fireteam after a full slow rotation of amazement. “Thank you.” He signed and the emerald green Hunter of the party chuckled, shaking her head ruefully.  


“He’s going to be pretty mad.” She said, transmitting a shotgun into her hands before making her way down the steps to the portal. “I’ve never known him to be exactly welcoming of unannounced visitors. Good luck.”  


“I’ll figure something out.” The Warlock signed before she turned her back to him and the black clad Hunter smacked his shoulder far too hard in support.  


“That’s the spirit! Go get some dick, Socks! Fuck yeah! Impulse!” He said with unbridled enthusiasm, following behind the green Hunter, spinning on his heel to call back as a hand cannon formed in his hand. “If you die, it’ll be worth it!!”  


The unhelmeted Hunter watched his companions disappear into the white glow of the portal, turning back to the Warlock as he put his helmet on once again. “I don’t think he’ll kill you, for the record. He likes you too much.” He stated with a confident smirk now masked away.  


The Warlock had his arms crossed and was hunched slightly, turned in on himself in an embarrassment that clearly heated the air around him. The Hunter tapped on his helmet with his knuckles before doing a shooing motion. “Hey, stop that! Go on! It’ll kick you out of here if you’re still standing here when I go through. Just go back that way somewhat and I know you’ll find his quarters.” The Hunter pointed vaguely towards behind the Warlock, hesitating before waving his hands. “Ehhh, you’ll figure it out! You’re smart! Now go!”  


The Warlock uneasily climbed up the few steps behind him, looking to his left where the catwalk disappeared around a corner into the depths of the ship. He walked steadily, slowly, listening to the catwalk rattle under him when his attention was pulled back to the portal by a yelp.  


The Hunter was frantically waving to get his attention. He made a “call me” signal up to his helmet. The Warlock smiled under his helmet. He knew the real meaning behind the silly motion. He doubted he’d need to call Draknus in an emergency but the offer was appreciated. He gave a thumbs up. The Hunter dabbed. The Warlock stared, his disapproval radiating behind his mask before he turned and jogged the rest of the way down the catwalk, disappearing into the belly of the ship.  


He slowed as he followed the path laid out for him, staring at the innards of the Derelict, the pipes breathing steam and the ship moaning deep in its belly. At one point he stopped and walked to the railing, peering down and feeling the inertia rock his head and he quickly backed away. This ship was bigger than his eyes could contain and it rocked his core uneasily. He was happy when the catwalk bent at the end, opening to an entrance into a surprising darkness.  


His boots crunched into the snow as he walked forward, staring in amazement as the catwalk led itself into a snow covered, almost organic cave. Soxkt reached up and in one motion, pulled his helmet off and felt it transmat out of his hands. The cold air felt good against the back of his collar and he walked on, almost numb from the sheer surprise at taking in the crevices of the walls that burst with strange plant life, replacing the metallic shell that housed the rest of the Derelict. He reached out a hand and gently pulled off a leaf, rubbing it between his thumb. In this dizzyingly different space, he felt like he was stuck in a womb of sorts. His skin crawled but he hardly placed why.  


Soxkt’s eyes pulled themselves to the only source of light that he could see, orange light spilling from the half open hatch of a giant shipping container, nestled an inch or two within the snow. He approached carefully, grabbing the bottom of the shipping container’s hatch and pushing it up, slotting it back on top of the ‘roof’, watching snow get knocked aside and fall in large clumps off the side. The orange light spilled out stronger across the snow and Soxkt found himself standing in front of what he was searching for.  


It was, without a doubt, supposed to be the Drifter’s quarters. It was small, tightly packed together with a myriad of belongings and things that took up far too much space. Soxkt took a few steps back, trying to take in everything he was seeing. Ventriloquist had appeared at some point and flickered on a light from it’s eye silently, illuminating the shadows that hung around the shelves and tables.  


Soxkt carefully stepped into the space, careful to avoid knocking over the small cooking set up by his feet at the front, squeezing around the room slowly, placing himself in the center. He rotated in a tight circle, eyes lingering on the little details he caught before forcing himself to move on to the next thing. This was more than just a hovel that the Drifter slept in and used to barely get by. It was alive too, just like the walls and the life that sprouted from it.  


The books bindings were lose, pages creased from dog earring and thrown on shelves haphazardly. The table was pock marked, scarred with cracks, and streaked with oil. Gun parts, tech pieces, and instruments he couldn't readily understand took up any remaining space. The tapestry that hung on the walls was faded in the parts where the color bled through strongest but it was treated well all the same. The tiny lights that hung filled everything with an autumn like glow that contrasted with the cold air that blanketed outside. This tiny crook of the ship wasn’t sad or hardly used or left only for the bare minimum purposes of survival. It was a home. Well lived in and loved to some extent. Soxkt breathed in deeply.  


It smelled like him.  


Soxkt slapped his hands over his face, nerves almost giving out on him as the blood rushed under his fingers. That wasn’t safe thinking. If anything it was borderline stalker like. Oh god, was he a stalker for coming here? He didn’t WANT to be a stalker, he was trying to be CUTE! He felt himself lower into a crouch on the floor as a single toned scream played quietly through his head. He almost begged Ventriloquist to transmat him back to his ship and send them across the system before his fireteam left their trial of reckoning and noticed his ship gone. But his Ghost bumped his hand with its shell and led the curious Warlock to the largest worktable in the shipping crate, across from a folding table bundled with fabric.  


Ventriloquist’s light lit up the gun pieces, tools, unlabeled diagrams and plans scattered around. Soxkt’s mind snapped out of his anxiety and he unstrapped the gun from his back, holding it firmly in both hands. It was his first gift from Drifter, making it an easy selection for this project. He shook his head. No, not a gift. A reward for a lot of hard work. Drifter would probably laugh at him for calling it a gift. Still, it felt awfully personal. Soxkt touched the coin that hung from where it was tied around the leather that wrapped around the Breakneck, rubbing it between his thumb and finger.  


Placing the auto rifle on the table, Soxkt stretched out his arms allowing his armor to be transmatted back to his ship, leaving him in the casual wear he had on underneath it. He was grateful he thought of the jacket, never anticipating how necessary it would be in this cold. With a small shiver he sat himself at the worktable, pulling everything he could examine within arm’s reach.  


He had nothing but tools he pulled from the corners of Drifter’s worktable and the knowledge that the gun in front of him could, in theory, be taken apart into pieces. The diagrams around him seemed to prove that theory. Beyond that, he had little else to pull him through this. A task like this would typically be infuriating but Soxkt thrilled at the opportunity to lose himself in the challenge.The unnerving quiet of the hovel and the sounds of the ship muffled by the snow right outside threatened to pull his attention, but it was nothing that his Ghost couldn’t fix.  


The tinny music from his Ghost’s speaker was quiet, an old smoky track that had been a pain to upload into the Ghost when he discovered the disc in a shop booth months ago. The music grounded him to this worktable as he hunched over the gun, plucking a tiny screwdriver from the expanse of metallic tools. He knew there were screws on this thing. Screws could come off.  


His attention narrowed in and the rest of the world outside his focus blurred. It was the same way when he read, when he trained, when he meditated. Ikora always praised his ability to single in on things, making him an adept learner of many Warlock skills. She did always tenderly suggest things such as the Crucible for striking the balance between narrow concentration and a wide range of focus. Guardians were unstable forces she had once said. The one thing a shrewd mind can’t out-perform or find a way to control, was other people. He always thought she pegged him as avoiding the Crucible so as not to wound his pride. He wished it was that easy and surface level.  


He hummed softly to himself as he toyed with the gun, running his fingers along the grooves and bolds that laid over it, unwrapping the leather and coin string gently and keeping it folded to the side. He had specifically chosen a gun that did not contain any obvious amount of Taken energy, an aspect typically built into the Drifter’s guns. It did worry Soxkt that he would pop a piece off and have random Taken essence gushing out but he figured it wasn’t anything he couldn’t deal with should it happen. The gruesome thought reminded him and he quickly unloaded the gun, pulling out the magazine and pushing it to the other end of the table. It would have been an issue if he missed that.  


What Soxkt did miss was the figure exiting the small mouth of the tunnel about ten minutes later, trudging through the snow until it froze dead in its tracks. He missed the sound of a handgun unholstering, loading, aiming, slow and careful. He might’ve missed that even if he had owed all his attention to his surroundings. All his raw talents and accomplishments only did so much against a hunter like the Drifter, who was now aiming down sights at Ventriloquist who’s shell turned as it ticked on to the next song. Drifter held his breath and stood in the snow, counting backwards slowly. Eyes flickering between the Ghost and Soxkt. But Soxkt’s body was still as stone despite his fingers working so rapidly. He had recently discovered a small button that popped the top cover off the gun and he was focusing on trying to find a way to pull out the recoil spring without breaking anything.  


Drifter inched forward carefully, his gun lowering. At some point his careful shuffle through the snow turned into half careful footsteps until he was standing at the edge of the snow. He watched as Soxkt’s head, almost eye level with the gun with how low it hung, never even hinted at knowing he was being watched. Drifter eyed the Ghost who was watching him back, spinning it’s shell furiously. Drifter would find out later Soxkt had specifically requested Ventriloquist to delay all functions beyond flashlight and audio player for both reasons of focus and to prevent Soxkt from ‘cheating’. For now, Drifter lifted one finger to his lips and silently mocked the obeying eye of Light as he holstered his gun.  


Drifter knew how to step across his floor without eliciting a single sound, not that he was certain it mattered anymore. He danced around the cramped space until he was behind where Soxkt sat. He contemplated pulling the gun back out but a flash of void energy he saw too often in Gambit filled his memory and he changed his mind. He figured it best to just startle the kid instead ofkick-start his fight or flight. Close enough now, he could hear Soxkt humming to himself as he gently laid the recoil spring next to the cover. Drifter could see he had also managed to unscrew the grip and the wood varnish along the side and neatly set them aside with their screws lined up in even rows. Drifter’s chest warmed and he knew if he was a man capable of feeling such things he’d feel mighty fond of the Awoken right now, even through the thrumming frustration. He bent over slowly, positioning his mouth right next to Soxkt’s ear, low over his shoulder.  


“Do you have any idea how close you were to dying just now, hotshot?”  


Soxkt jolted in his seat, accidentally knocking Drifter in the chin with his shoulder from where he was leaning over, rousing a muffled “Ow. Fuck!” from the rugged man as he reeled back. The table rattled from Soxkt’s sudden movement and his attention quickly sped to rapidly retrieving the rolling tools and screws, taking priority over dealing with his being caught. The Drifter’s hand snatched a screw before Soxkt could, saving it from a long drop off the edge of the worktable. He looked at it curiously, rolling it in his fingers before setting it down.  


“What the hell are you doing here?” He growled under his breath. His eyes darted to the dark corners of his shack as though he was worried of the shadows discovering them both.  
He lied to his fireteam when he said he was prepared for this. The white hot rush of guilt spilled over him and the impact of his actions come through in the sinking feeling of his stomach. What was he doing? Desperately searching for an excuse to steal away into the tiny holes of truth the Drifter left around him? And why? Because he missed him? Soxkt bit his nail for a moment. Eyes downcast as he thought of a reply that didn’t make him sound insane, but the Drifter’s aggravated sigh cut through first.  


“No, alright, shut up, first you’re gonna tell me how the hell you got here so I can make sure it don’t happen again.”  


Soxkt shook his head curtly.  


“Real cute. Tell me. Now.”  


“I don’t want to snitch.” He signed quickly in reply. Drifter’s jaw set tight and his eyes narrowed.  


“I don’t give a shit what you want right now. You know how close I was to lining up a shot on you when I came ‘round that corner? You’re damn lucky these eyes still work or you’d be a dead son’. You’re lucky you ain’t one right now anyways.” Drifter put one arm onto the table, leaning over to try and force eye contact with the Guardian. “I don’t take kindly to intruders, boy.”  


Soxkt was throwing a mental tantrum as he kept his gaze turned away, brow furrowed tightly. He didn’t want to feel bad about this but he did. He didn’t want to care about crossing boundaries with a man like the Drifter but he did. More than any of that though, he didn’t want his clan getting dragged down with him. He wanted the full brunt of the blame, even if it scared something small and weak in him to face the Drifter’s anger.  


Drifter waited, taking in Soxkt’s conflicted expression, reading more than he let on before straightening his back. “Fine. Tell your little friends their tricks ain’t gonna work anymore anyways. I got ways to put this place on lockdown for good. Next time one of ya come through, could be your last time going anywhere. You dig, kid?”  


Soxkt glared at the corner of the room, signing without looking. “Don’t lecture me. I’m not a child.”  


“Really? Then act like an adult and look me in the eye.”  


It was painfully hard but Soxkt dragged his gaze away from the corner of a bookshelf and back towards Drifter’s face. Drifter stood in front of the folding table, arms crossed, and Soxkt felt like he could’ve burnt away under the heat of his blue stare. They watched each other for a bit, unmoving, until Drifter huffed, breaking their stare down.  


“Look. I appreciate you ain’t wantin’ to rat out your friends, even if it is a stupid decision. I can say it’s one hell of a slippery slope you’re on to start trustin’ ‘em like this. But that still don’t explain why the hell you thought coming here was a fine idea in the first place.” Drifter’s eyes moved to the gun parts laid out, letting the heavy silence hang low for a moment before looking back, jutting his chin at the table. “Broke?”  


Soxkt shook his head weakly.  


“Really. Take it apart yourself?”  


Nodding.  


“…Huh. Well, ha, you stumped me, Starlight. You somehow get your friends to help you sneak your way into my hole in the wall and all I find you with is a stripped piece when I show up. Clearly I’m missin’ somethin’.” Drifter stepped back up to the table, bending low, pushing around the pieces, half talking to himself. “Must’ve been here a while too, I know you Guardians don’t get taught how to do this on the regular. Surprised you didn’t break the damn thing...” Drifter trailed off, glancing up at where Soxkt was nervously watching him, a glint coming into his eyes. “…The hell you here for, huh? You ain’t even undressed or nothin’.”  


Soxkt’s face burned. Drifter smirked and the tension of the room lifted a little, freeing the anxious grip keeping Soxkt’s hands so quiet.  


“What the hell does that mean?” He signed in indignation.  


“What? Just followin’ the typical trend here…”  


“Is that all you want out of me?”  


“Depends. What else you sellin’?”  


Soxkt resisted smiling. “You said you liked talking to me.”  


“I do. When you ain’t overthinking.” Drifter looked down at the scattered gun parts. “This, uh, whole… ‘plan’ of yours some attempt at not overthinking?”  


Soxkt tried to rub the flush off his cheek with one hand, groaning low, before replying. “Something like that. Impulse.”  


“Impulse ain’t your kind of game, Warlock. Leave it to the pros. And the Titans.” Drifter studied the table between shooting Soxkt skeptical glances, drumming his fingers against the scarred wood. “…Alright, alright. I’m not kicking you out yet. Besides, I know this gun and you got me curious now.” Drifter pulled a stool out from under the smaller worktable and picked up the coin that sat on top of the folded leather, turning it in his hand. “Ain’t this one I gave ya?”  


“You give a lot of people a lot of guns.”  


“Shut up, I know. Smartass…” Drifter muttered, sitting himself beside Soxkt, keeping himself angled to watch the Awoken’s hands. “I know it looks vintage to a kid like you but these guns don’t require any of the sort of maintenance we used to have to do to take care of it. Which I’m assumin’ is why you got it in pieces. I try to make my loot, ah, user-friendly for you Lights.” He explained, tossing the coin high enough to make Soxkt cringe a little.  


“I want to learn how to do it anyways. The real way.”  


Drifter caught the coin as it fell back to his palm. “Yeah? Why’s that?”  


“Not everything lasts. It could prove useful to know someday.” Soxkt hesitated, fingertips tapping together before signing. “You talk about not relying on the Vanguard forever. So I’m trying to take your advice.”  


Drifter smiled but waved his hand dismissively. “Relax, you don’t gotta convince me that hard. Flattery ain’t gonna put your gun back together anyways.” The Drifter flipped the coin off the tip of his thumb and it landed squarely back onto the leather. It kind of pissed Soxkt off how cool that looked. Drifter turned to fully face the table, scooting the gun over to his side, and began to break it down as though it were a normal situation to find himself in.  


“Firstly, kid, why do we take our guns apart?” he asked as he pulled the bolt carrier to the rear of the receiver, lifting and pulling the bolt out in an easy movement.  


“Maintenance.” Soxkt answered, craning his neck to watch Drifter’s hands, still genuinely eager to learn.  


“Maintenance of what?”  


Soxkt blinked, looking briefly dazed, before slowly looking back down at his half undone gun again. He looked over the pieces spread out evenly and picked up the bolt, rolling it in his hand, watching the black grease slick onto his fingers.  


“Cleaning?” He signed, throwing aside his previous answer, the bolt tucked into his palm.  


“Mm. Decent enough answer.” Drifter plucked the piece out of his hand and laid it back onto the table. “I ain’t giving you the whole spiel on this ‘cause honestly it don’t matter much no more but you gotta keep your piece clean, well lubed, and varnished. Otherwise, it’s gonna bite you as hard as it bites the bastards you point it at.” Drifter spoke like he was reciting Gambit rules, casual and quick. Soxkt watched him rotate a piece between his fingers and suddenly lift the rear handguard away from the barrel.  


“I can finish it.” Soxkt signed before quickly stretching a hand out, wincing as Drifter batted it away firmly.  


“Uh-uh. You’re watchin’. I like this gun and I don’t need you messin’ it up too bad.”  


“I was doing okay until you showed up.”  


“You unscrewed some wood and didn’t leave the magazine in. Real proud of you.” Drifter’s sarcasm flicked at Soxkt’s pride and he grumpily sat back, arms crossed. It only took another short minute for Drifter to pull out the cleaning rod away from the muzzle, unscrewing it quick and light as he worked.  


“There she is. Not bad, huh?” Drifter sat back, pulling the gauntlets from his hands as he did so, grunting in approval. Soxkt cocked his head, half lifting out of his seat, pushing at the pieces with a finger, careful not to disturb them too much, already in his mind piecing the gun back together again to try and understand the individual operation of each piece.  


“Alright, you can do work again now.” Drifter said, pressing a hand to Soxkt’s chest to sit him back down and Soxkt panicked at the thought that Drifter could feel his heart hammering away in his chest in that brief passing. “Grab that bottle right there across from you- no not that one- not that- yes- NO, I said NOT that one.” Drifter shot a look at Soxkt’s barely restrained smile as the Warlock slid the correct bottle into his hand. “Fuckin’ with me cause I don’t want you breaking your damn gun. How does your clan deal with you?”  


“I’m much worse with them.” He signed as the Drifter unscrewed the cap, rummaging under the table for a handful of cut fabric strips and a thin stick covered in sharp bronze bristles.  


“Can’t imagine.”  


“I don’t even do anything to you. You can’t handle a little tease?”  


“You broke into my ship.”  


Soxkt didn’t have a reply to that one and he conceded that victory back to Drifter.  


“I’ve been thinkin’ I’ve been surrounded by people for too long who either wanted me to dead or REALLY wanted me dead. More used to that brand of hostility than your harmless, dumb shit.” Drifter continued, wetting the fabric patches and laying them out across the table.  


Soxkt looked thoughtful as Drifter pushed a cloth half soaked in the bottle’s contents into his hand. “I don’t think I can hate you if that’s what you want.” He signed eventually.  


Drifter didn’t respond for a moment as he worked on wetting the bronze bristles but eventually he spoke up. “Didn’t say they hated me. Just wanted me dead. Big difference. Clean this.” Drifter placed the bolt receiver in front of Soxkt as he began to turn the muzzle of the gun towards him, easing the thin cleaning stick inside. Soxkt diligently scrubbed at the bolt receiver, trusting he was doing it right by the grease that quickly filled the fabric.  


“...I don’t want you to hate me.”  


Soxkt’s head popped up and Drifter coughed into his fist as though to muffle his words, jamming the cleaning rod back down the muzzle again with more intensity.  


“I mean, the whole hating me because I make you wild for me thing is fine, I’ll deal with that. But it makes my life a hell of a lot less of a pain if you can at least keep actin’ like you like me, what with the Shadows of Yor and Gambit and...hell, everythin’. I’d prefer if you stuck around and kept digging me out of all these holes I keep trippin’ into.”  


Drifter finally looked over and narrowed his eyes at Soxkt’s amused smile. “What?”  


“You took that very seriously.” Soxkt signed.  


“The hell you on about?”  


“I didn’t think you really wanted me to hate you.” Soxkt replied, smile widening. He busied his hands with cleaning again and he spoke softly, eyes lowering to his lap. “You said...you liked me. Usually means...you want me...to like you too.”  


Soxkt missed the flush that briefly passed over Drifter’s face. They tinkered in silence for a bit and Soxkt scrubbed away at every piece passed to him, peeking up frequently to watch as Drifter varnished the wood pieces and finished cleaning out the gun’s muzzle. Soxkt was hyper aware of the very few inches between them and he kept his focus reigned in as much as he could to avoid flustering himself. Just feeling Drifter’s body heat radiating off him was almost enough to keep him off balance.  


Soxkt settled the bolt down finally, the last piece rolled his way, and he turned to watch Drifter finish cleaning the inside of the gun itself.  


“Can...I help?”  


“Nah, last piece. Just don’t suddenly start trying to force stuff back together.” Drifter muttered. Soxkt wasn’t used to his focus being so intense. It seemed opposite to his typical easy going nature. As much as he respected and enjoyed watching it, it made him nervous, picking at a lone insecurity. The more he saw of the Drifter, the more he realized he hardly knew him.  


Soxkt took his anxiety out on a lone screw, flicking it across the table, watching it roll itself into merry circles with every little kick. Drifter caught it between his fingers in equal parts amusement and annoyance on it’s fourth spin.  


“Anyone ever tell you you’re one family tree away from being a damn house cat?”  


Soxkt visibly perked up. Drifter's nose crinkled.  


“Don’t look so happy about that, weirdo.”  


Soxkt only smiled wider as he signed. “Cats are my favorite animals though.”  


“I’d hope so at this rate. Damn place is crawlin’ with them now. They come up from the city and get fat as hell with the scraps you Guardians keep tossin’ them. Won’t even eat the rats anymore, lazy fucks.”  


Soxkt’s shoulders moved in a silent chuckle and Drifter couldn’t even hide the small grin he wore. “You can’t blame me for that.” Soxkt’s hands replied. “They won’t eat from me because they hate me.”  


“…Hate you?”  


Soxkt sat up in his seat and rolled up his sleeve, proudly revealing a network of thin red lines on his forearm from a day or so ago. The Drifter set his tools down to stare.  


“This one is the tabby that hangs around Holliday’s shop.” Soxkt stretched his arm out again towards Drifter after signing.  


“What the hell am I looking at.”  


Soxkt turned his arm over and pointed at a single darker scratch, speaking now as he drew the tip of his finger over the mostly healed cut that spanned the underside of his forearm.  


"Black cat...stuck in vent...above Banshee’s shop. Had to...help.”  


“You tellin’ me I see you mow down things every day that have disposed of hundreds of Guardians and killed countless others and you can’t get a house cat to play nice with you?”  


Soxkt’s smile saddened as he nodded. Drifter shook his head, reaching a finger out to touch the thin gash presented to him, tracing its length softly.  


“I will never understand you.” He muttered half to himself.  


Soxkt watched the Drifter’s fingers run over his veins and he blushed childishly, glancing away, not sure how to handle the sudden gentle affection. He felt the Drifter‘s eyes watching him as his fingers trailed up to graze at the soft skin on the inside of his elbow.  


“Don’t you get shy on me.” Drifter warned though his fingers continued to softly trace along some unknown lines, plucking at them and watching them reverb up through Soxkt’s body.  


“I’m... not.” Soxkt could hardly commit to the lie as the Drifter’s fingers pulled back down to the soft skin on the inside of his wrist and his arms danced with goosebumps.  


“Yeah you are. And it’s got me feelin’ all kinds of ways.” Drifter pulled his hand back. “Ways I can’t be feelin’ if you want this gun back together.” Drifter grabbed the bolt in his hand and rubbed his finger across it firmly, peering at the small bit of residue still on his finger. “Go again. You’re gonna do this right or not at all.” Drifter said and Soxkt wanted to be mad but he couldn’t. No one ever accused him of being a bad student after all. Besides, in a weirdly egotistical way he didn’t like to acknowledge, it felt good to be bad at something for once.  


Soon, every piece passed Drifter’s inspection and though he didn’t say anything, the hand not scrutinizing every piece found it’s way pushing through Soxkt’s hair, scratching at his head in silent praise. Soxkt arched into the hand, smiling proudly.  


“Now we just gotta put the thing back together. It’s the part where if you fuck it up, this gun is gonna blow your head off.” Drifter gathered all the pieces towards the front of the work table. Soxkt scooted his hands slowly towards his gun, hoping if he went slow enough, Drifter might not notice. Drifter swatted the closest hand away though more gently this time. “You can screw the bolts back onto the varnish. Maybe. But trust Ol’ Drifter on this one. You’re gonna wanna watch.”  


Soxkt took his word and watched as Drifter slotted the gun parts back into place. He moved fast but Soxkt got the feeling he was deliberately trying to slow himself for his benefit.  


“...Thank you.” Soxkt said, pulling slightly on the sleeve of Drifter’s gi.  


“Shucks, you’re as sweet as they come when you get what you want huh?” Drifter smiled lazily as he gently set the recoil spring back into place, fiddling with it until it laid how he wanted it. “Just don’t go advertising’ my services. I ain’t trying to play daddy with all you city Guardians and show you all my secrets.”  


“Am I...special?”  


“Oh, hero, you don’t even know.”  


Drifter finished the last of the internal pieces, the gun functionally back together as he moved it towards Soxkt, holding up the first piece of wood varnish. Soxkt grabbed for it as Drifter’s wrist flicked away. The con man winked. Soxkt narrowed his eyes and grabbed again with more intent. He just barely missed and almost fell off his seat again in the process.  


“Ha! Can’t have you thinkin’ I’m too nice.” Drifter tossed the piece one handed and chuckled as Soxkt panicked to catch it. “Now, you gotta put that on exact. When I say exact, I mean exact. Ain’t fitting back on otherwise.” He moves himself close, peering down as Soxkt nervously collected the bolts and began to adjust the varnish back onto the muzzle. After a minute of fiddling, he smiled proudly and began to move a bolt in to the screw hole.  


“Nope.” Soxkt looked at Drifter who raised an eyebrow, daring to be questioned. Soxkt huffed off his frustration and inched the varnish again, bringing himself down to eye level with the gun to see. He lifted the bolt again. “Nope.” They locked eyes again. Soxkt looked back down again. The cycle continued about four more times until Drifter tried to cut in as delicately as he could.  


“Kid, you’re not-.”  


“I can.” But Soxkt felt the anger balling up in his hands and suddenly the idea of crushing this gun into legendary shards into his hand seemed like the best idea. Drifter must’ve noticed the furious tremor in his fingers because he took a rare moment of pity to scoot in.  


“Nah, here, c’mere, just let me…”  


Their fingers tangled for a moment, Soxkt’s defiance and Drifter’s impatience clashing in their control for the gun, still somehow managing to be gentle to each other. Soxkt felt his ugly pride burn like a wound on the surface as Drifter seized control but it didn’t hurt when Drifter touched him, found his way under his hands, slipping easily where he hesitated. Soxkt froze seeing his hands laying over Drifter’s, blue over pale, unmoving as Drifter’s fingers worked fast and light at readjusting the wood paneling to the side of the gun.  


Soxkt hesitated a greedy glance out of the corner of his eye. Drifter wasn’t looking at him, face serious and set on the careful task. He began picking up the bolts and holding them between the curves of his fingers. Soxkt felt for sure a third eye was trained on him still, peering straight through him and seeing the ugly soul inside. He flushed and glanced back down, pulling his hands to his lap sheepishly.  


“...Why?”  


“Why what?”  


“Why do you...have to do it...like that...specifically?”  


Drifter paused before giving a small breathy chuckle. “I don’t have a damn clue.” The screwdriver seemed so small in his hand as he gestured. “I ain’t got a lot of book smarts like you Warlocks do…Just whatever the hell I had to learn to stay alive. So I can’t tell for sure how the hell or why you gotta do the shit you do to make these things work. I just know damn sure you do.”  


Soxkt scooted back in his stool, propping his elbow on an empty spot and resting his chin in his hand. He took in the Drifter’s focused profile, watching his fingers work the screws in with adept skill and a surprising seriousness. He wondered why the Drifter was lying to him. The crammed bookshelves around them spoke for themselves after all. He saw the calculated technical way Drifter handled the gun parts. This was more than rough instinct. He was smart, real smart, nothing else about it. But Soxkt was too satisfied to be sitting here still to question much further.  


“...I like your hands.”  


It should’ve embarrassed him to say, especially out loud, it but a warmth was spreading over him despite the overall cold. A warmth that lulled him into a frightening place, like finding home in the mouth of a lion. He could’ve choked himself on how fondly his chest swelled for the man in front of him. It could’ve killed him.  


Drifter gave a half smile, not looking up from his work, unruffled as he began to set and screw the grip back on as well. “Yeah? Ain’t too smart. These hands done a lot of bad things, Starlight. Got a lot of blood on them.”  


“I know. Still.”  


“Whatever you think you know ain’t even the half of it.”  


Soxkt deflated slightly. “Just trying...to be nice to you...” He muttered shyly.  
Drifter’s hands stilled. “Heh. What you flirting with me for? I ain’t done nothin’ yet.” Drifter’s eyes flickered to his right finally and Soxkt rewarded him with a cheeky grin, the warm apples of his cheeks crinkling under his eyes.  


“You’re cleaning...my gun.” Soxkt pointed out.  


“Uh huh. You like how I take care of your ‘gun’?” Drifter smirked sleazily.  


Soxkt’s foot kicked out, just barely missing the Drifter’s shin under the table, covering half of his smile with his hand. “Don’t be gross!”  


Drifter’s foot locked itself in the bar across Soxkt’s stool and yanked, looking pleased as the Awoken struggled to not topple off his stool as it rocked unsteadily for a moment. “Gross now, huh? Lotta nerve Guardian, lot of nerve coming from a sicko like you.”  


They locked eyes and for a moment, there was stillness, an open door leading to saying ‘fuck this stupid gun’ and following a more familiar path. Soxkt wrestled with the urge to roll over and expose his belly to the Drifter’s predatory stare but he shook himself from his stupor instead and pulled the pieces of the gun towards him across the table. He began to copy the Drifter’s movements, finishing the screws Drifter left half done and Drifter shot the gun a dirty look as though it were to blame for ruining the mood.  


“I ain’t letting you shack up here all night wasting my good hard earned power so you can mess around with that gun much more.” He jabbed a thumb to the generator purring in the front of the crate.  


“You’re stealing...the Tower’s power...anyways.” Soxkt deadpanned unsympathetically.  


A mischievous grin. “Maybe.”  


Soxkt curled low over the gun, screwing with incredibly slow precision. The two were shoulder to shoulder as they hunched over, both watching Soxkt’s work a stern eye. As the last bolt slotted in tight, Soxkt pulled back and tried to pry at the wood. No budge. He slid it across to Drifter who scooted back in his stool, holding the gun in his arms as he checked each piece, paying careful attention to the wood along the muzzle and grip specifically. Soxkt with much more investment then he thought he’d have and when the Drifter looked up with a slowly spreading grin, his smile was genuinely excited.  


“She’s all good, quick draw.” Drifter declared, placing it delicately back on the worktable. “All ready for you to mow some bad mothers down with. Your favorite.” Soxkt’s happiness was contagious as he tried to figure out how to sign his appreciation best and Drifter felt that familiar obnoxious warmth in his chest again. Until Soxkt, after signing a sloppily fast “Thank you!” reached for the breakneck.  


“Whoa, whoa. Just ‘cause it’s done don’t mean you get it back.” Drifter grabbed the gun, dragging it back across the table to him. He kept it close to himself as he leaned his elbows onto the table, effectively blocking the gun. “I did you a service here, Starlight. You got payment for it?”  


Soxkt tapped a finger to his chin, thinking a bit before lighting up, a uniquely smug smile on his face that pulled on Drifter’s curiosity. “Cashing in...on my...last favor.”  


“Favor, huh? What favor?”  


“Udon.”  


Drifter grinned, rubbing his hands together. “Hahahaa, I knew you’d hold that damn thing over my head eventually. You gonna do this with every dinner you buy me?”  


“Maybe.” Soxkt said with a head tilt, arrogance handsome on his soft face.  


“Heh. Look at you, hot stuff. You got me in your debt now if we’re playing by your rules.” Drifter stretched his arms out, crossing them behind his head as he leaned back, watching as Soxkt started to reach for his gun across the table. “‘Cept I’m thinkin’ you owe me a lot more for not blowing your head off when I saw you snuck your way in here.”  


Soxkt’s smugness was wiped clean away and his hand stopped an inch from the gun. “...Maybe.” He muttered quietly.  


“I’m thinkin’ with this lesson, we’re even.”  


Soxkt smiled but glanced away restlessly, his leg bouncing beneath the table, pulling his arms back close to him. Drifter caught the look fast. “What?”  


“...You should...let me stay...anyways.”  


Drifter’s face scrunched up in confusion for a moment as he straightened him on the stool. “Stay…?” He murmured but just as fast as he repeated it did the light come on. His face relaxed. “You cocky son’, you were gonna try and leverage your way into spendin’ the night?” Drifter chuckled as Soxkt continued to guiltily rest his eyes anywhere but on the Drifter, keeping himself pressed closed to the bookshelf behind him. “Damn, it almost worked too. Pretty impressive plan, gotta say. Wasn’t expectin’ smooth talkin’ like that out of you.”  


“Are you kicking me out?” Soxkt’s hands asked, his throat closed up with a funny mix of shame and disappointment.  


Drifter’s long silence in response made Soxkt look over and stare quizzically back at the man who was silently judging him. A genuine look of confliction was in Drifter’s eyes as he regarded Soxkt for a while, half in his own mind and half still grounded at this table.  


“I get nothin’ scares you, hero, but you’re asking for some risky business right now.” Drifter finally said, arms crossing, his tone clipped and careful as he regarded the man across next to him.  


“That’s not true. I’m scared of something.” Soxkt’s hands retorted.  


“Yeah? What?”  


Sometimes sign language wasn’t needed to give answers as Soxkt continued to stare pointedly. The smile his unspoken answer pulled from Drifter was deadly and reminded Soxkt of the precious few inches between them. His eagerness resolved itself over his shyness and he pushed again.  


“Let me stay.” His hands repeated, slow and forceful in his movements.  


Drifter breathed out low and heavy, scratching the back of his head, defeat coming into the edges of his features. He was staring something funny at Soxkt and for a moment, might even look...sheepish? Embarrassed? He cleared his throat once before trying to speak nonchalantly.  


“Where am I supposed to put you up, hotshot?”  


Soxkt blinked. Huh? He turned in his stool and stared at the hovel his eyes had grown accustomed to. Long packed bookshelves behind him. The lights hanging above them. Tables. Shipping crates. Generator. Weapons locker. Shelves. And…  


“...Drifter. Where is your bed?” His hands asked as his eyes kept looking around.  


“Oh, I'd love to hear where the hell you expect me to fit one of those in here.”  


Soxkt knew his incredulous expression was only worsening the awkwardness of this situation but he was too put out to deal with worrying about whether his reaction would get him laid tonight or not. His eyes continued to really drink the room in for a second time.  


“Where are you sleeping then?”  


“We’ve been next to it all night.”  


...Oh no. Soxkt stared at the table that he had ignored most of the night behind the worktable and the bundle of blue fabric pushed up against the wall. Soxkt stretched across and pulled the fabric flat.  


Ok. Well. It was maybe the largest, most insulated sleeping bag he’d ever seen at least? That had to count for something. Lying half zipped open, flat and partially slipping off the shipping crate it was on. The large insignia on it was fading and the navy blue color was muddied and the fabric was becoming worn but…Soxkt glanced under the table. A red pillow had fallen underneath.  


Yeah no this sucked so hard.  


“...For the record. I ain’t got no issue in you staying if you want…” Drifter trailed off as Soxkt turned from his shell-shocked look at the sleeping arrangements to the most dead eyed, contemptible look at him. Drifter bristled immediately, fist slamming into the table, rattling a few stray pieces neither paid mine too. “Don’t fucking look at me that way! Ain’t my fault I’m happy with what I got! I don’t need your attitude!” He barked at Soxkt’s silence.  


Soxkt wasn’t impressed by the Drifter’s hurt pride and dug his knuckles into the ego’s wound. “You’re making me seriously question my own standards.” He signed.  


“Oh what, mister high and mighty chosen one gonna preach to me about his fuckin’ standards now?”  


Soxkt rolled his eyes. “Me wanting a bed isn’t some crazy high bar I’m setting. It’s base fucking level decency.”  


“Really? You sure as shit weren’t asking for no bed that first night you were here though, huh?”  


Fuck. Soxkt’s apathetic stare crumbled and he shrunk a little. It was an uncomfortable mix of both genuinely insulting to hear and...erotic. He tried to look away unbothered but it was too late. Drifter was feasting on his moment of weakness, lashing out from his pride’s hurt.  


“Yeah, don’t think I forgot. I had you begging for me right out on that floor, didn’t I? All nice and loud. No ‘decency’. No ‘standards’. No bed.” Soxkt could feel Drifter moving closer as his voice lowered, boxing him against the bookshelf. His eyes darted to avoid looking directly at the Drifter.  
“It was. Different. On that night.” Soxkt’s signing faltered as he searched for a good enough word and came up short, fingers scrambling against each other restlessly. He yelped as Drifter’s hand suddenly caught his wrist, tricking his eyes into facing his assailant.  


“You sayin’ I couldn’t drag you right back out there and do it all over again right now?” Drifter’s forehead was practically pressed against his and his free hand was digging into Soxkt’s thigh as he leaned in. Soxkt’s shallow, fast breathing made him leer, wicked. “Look at you, I can feel you beggin’ for me to rail you like the slut you are back out on that catwalk.” Drifter’s voice crept to a stinging whisper, igniting the air between them like a match. “You’ll let me do any damn thing I want to do to you.”  


They held each other’s stare, breathing heavy in time, gold eyes to blue eyes, pupils blown wide and needy. Soxkt suddenly realized how cramped this tiny room was. Nowhere to run or hide or put a moment of distance between the person who made your mind melt into something that didn’t know how to function anymore. Stifling compared to the openness of the rest of the Derelict. Maybe Drifter did all of this on purpose.  


“You are dangerous to keep ‘round. Don’t know why I do sometimes.” Drifter broke the tense silence, his words still holding onto the embers of his frustration but his familiar smile was slipping back into place and Soxkt felt the jaws around his neck relax. He released Soxkt’s wrist before straightening up, standing from his stool and turning to exit the warmth of the hovel. He raised a hand as he trudged out into the snow towards the entrance, calling out over his shoulder “I’m gonna close up shop. If you’re around when I get back, we’ll figure something out.”  


Soxkt watched him walk off, making sure he was gone before quickly grabbing at one of the storage crates marked with Omolon, heaving the crate under the table-makeshift bed hybrid. A gun clattered as it was pushed out of the way and Soxkt reminded himself to give Drifter shit for his careless behavior with guns later as he rescued the red pillow from the floor. Soxkt pressed a hand to the table, happy with it’s firmness before turning to look at the shelves around him. Drifter should have a plant. Was that normal to gift your...whatever Drifter and him were? “Maybe for the Dawning this year.” Soxkt thought to himself as he shrugged his jacket off and placed it on the stool behind him.  


The Drifter returned a few moments later, slowing as he saw the supposedly empty shipping crate and exhaling slowly, staring for a good while at the empty space. He grimaced finally in acceptance, rubbing his hands together, walking back into the crate and looking at where the Breakneck sat on the table shiny and new. Drifter began to rewrap the leather around it, slow and deliberate, knotting the coin around it tightly.  


“Damn kid. Can’t even remember his own gun.” Drifter muttered under his breath to himself, tugging as a test on the coin’s string.  


“Forget what?”  


Drifter startled and backed into the worktable with a bang of his hip as a red head popped out of the sleeping bag behind him, Soxkt’s torso stretching out across the table as he unfurled himself. He was already nestled inside.  


Drifter pressed a heart over his hammering heart. “…Really? What happened to ‘standards’?” Drifter questioned suspiciously.  


Soxkt shuffled back into the warmth of the sleeping bag in response, eyes peeking at Drifter brightly.  


Drifter eyed his sleeping bag, trying to recall the nights he spent inside it as he did some strange mental math, rubbing at his chin. “It’s gonna be a tight squeeze. I mean real tight.” He warned.  


The bottom of Soxkt’s eyes squinted in an unseen smile as he dug in deeper. Drifter looked away, gnawing on his bottom lip, trying not to crack.  


“Now you tell me this then. How am I supposed to sleep when I got you pressed up on me all night?” He asked roughly, knowing full well the outcome was already decided and both vastly in each other’s favor.  


Soxkt pulled his arms out of the bag enough to sign.  


“Sounds like a you problem.” He stuck his tongue out.  


“Ha! Yeah?! I can make it both our problems real fast, c’mere you little brat-!”  


Soxkt squeaked out in a mortifyingly high pitch as Drifter was suddenly over him, wrestling for his wrists, easily pinning them as Soxkt burst into loud, deep laughter, only playing at resisting. The table groaned slightly but the shipping crates underneath it prevented too much give and kept it from collapsing under the weight of both men. Drifter growled playfully, nipping at Soxkt’s neck, turning his laughter into a quick gasp. Drifter lifted himself, looking down at Soxkt coiled beneath him, who was now smiling victoriously under the flush across his skin.  


“Fine. You win. But on one condition: You’re sleeping here, got it? Sleeping. I catch you in any funny business tonight and you’re catching hell. How about that?”  
It was more of a taunt than an actual threat. A vague, open ended offer for the night’s trajectory. Drifter’s smirk betrayed his intentions as he unpinned one of the wrists under his hand, lightly slapping Soxkt’s cheek a few times before lifting himself up, boots hitting the floor again. He pulled the gun from his holster and tossed it on the table next to Soxkt’s, beginning the rhythm of disrobing. Soxkt sat up, pulling the pillow into his lap and squeezing it against his chest.  


Drifter didn’t transmat his armor away and Soxkt figured that made sense what with them already being on his ship already and all. Still, he wasn’t prepared for the intimacy involved in watching such a small private moment. Drifter paid him no mind as he methodically unwrapped the bindings around his gauntlets, unstrapping the shoulder armor and placing them onto the smaller worktable across from where they’d been working all night.  


It was a simple act to pull at each layer, one after another. The gloves, the belt (well, the first one), the armor, the coat, each piece folded and placed in order onto the table until he was pulling off his pendant with a surprising tenderness and laying it on top of his coat. He began to shrug off his gi and Soxkt was acutely reminded of his own shallow feelings as he stared bug eyed at Drifter’s arms. His stare was clearly potent enough to finally rouse Drifter from his quiet stupor.  


Drifter glanced over and caught Soxkt’s eyes before they could skitter away. His cackle was mean despite the foreign tinge of shyness Drifter felt at catching him. “You like watchin’ me undress, pervert? C'mon then, don’t be shy.” Drifter leaned his hip against the worktable, waiting patiently for Soxkt’s embarrassment to lose out to his curiosity and his gaze to slide back over to him.  


Drifter pulled on his belt buckle, smirk widening as Soxkt’s head dropped, face glowing red. “You just hate how much you like lookin’ at me, don’t ya?” Drifter taunted.  


“I hate...how well...you know me.”  


“No you ain’t. That’s why you keep coming ‘round. Now. You gonna watch or not?”  


Of course he did. Even if it was the hardest thing in the world for him to do. Drifter wasn’t exactly a man of grace or experienced in the art of a slow tease so Soxkt’s erotic agony wasn’t dragged on too long. Still, Drifter made sure to keep his eyes on the Awoken as his belt slid free and he worked his pants off. Soxkt was enamored with every part of him and his feelings took up the entire room.  


His large hands and the dark hair on the back of them, dark hair that matched the hair on his arms, his legs, his thighs, all the way down to his feet. The way it disappeared under the few articles of clothes he left on. Muscles hardened by use, softened with time. Long scars, thick scars, tiny bits of discolored skin from where his Ghost managed to heal in time. He was just a man in a black shirt and underwear but he somehow still managed to look divine to Soxkt.  


Drifter struggled for the right mean words to say, his tongue stilled by the boyish lust radiating from Soxkt. It was almost as hungry as he felt sometimes but it didn’t feel like teeth on him. It felt like something much more gentle, a hunger that felt like kindness, and that was even scarier than knowing the threat outright.  


“Drifter?” Soxkt’s voice cut through his ruminating.  


“Hm?”  


“You look...nervous.”  


Drifter blinked then gave a half shrug, smiling, seeming to easily slough off the worry on his features. “Nah, not nerves. I’m thinkin’ how you’re the most dangerous son’ in this whole universe... and I got you lookin’ at me like a kitten. Kind of weird, ain’t it?” He asked casually, slipping the headband off his head, running a hand through his short hair.  


Soxkt rubbed the back of his neck, his smile shy but his eyes doubtful. “I don’t know about...dangerous.”  


“I seen a lot of danger in this system and a hell of a lot more outside of it. Ain’t nothin’ like you anywhere else.” Drifter’s voice was surprisingly serious and Soxkt felt a dark mote in his chest. He ran a hand across his heart, as though to press the cold out of it with the heat radiating off him, the words clawing into an old fear. Drifter stepped forward, damage control already in place as he reached out, grabbing Soxkt by the throat, fingers against his jaw, forcing his head up.  


“Ain’t nothin’ I can’t handle though. Yeah?” Drifter leered. Soxkt’s eyes shone bright, defiant and longing as he grabbed at Drifter’s wrist. Drifter let go fast though before he could be reeled in by his gravity and walked to the front of the crate, using his foot to push everything well inside the lip leading outside, reaching up and pulling the shutter halfway down the length of the shipping crate. Soxkt took the opportunity to haphazardly undress himself while Drifter knelt to mess with the generator, making quick work of his boots and pants as he pulled his lower half from the warm confines of the sleeping bag.  


He was in the middle of pulling his shirt off when the lights clicked out and the electronic hum present since he arrived stopped. His eyes adjusted well what with the strange light reflecting off the snow but he still squinted to see Drifter beyond the dark shadow of him as he stood. He waited in excited silence, legs dangling off the edge of the table. The cold was hardly a thought to him.  


The shadowed form of Drifter braced a hand against the wall and Soxkt heard his boots get toed off onto the floor as he talked. “It gets damn cold in here but I think we’ll be alright.” He drawled and Soxkt nodded before remembering he probably couldn’t be seen anyways. He tried to keep track of the Drifter as he moved his way back into the crate, closer, the light having less to cast a shadow on him, fingers gripping the edge of the table.  


“Hey.”  


Drifter kissed him from somewhere in the darkness, hands splayed flat on either side of Soxkt against the table as he leaned down to press their mouths together. Soxkt’s noise of surprise was caught in his throat and he reached a hand up to curve behind Drifter’s neck, the noise falling into a deep chested hum of eagerness. Soxkt hadn’t realized just how badly he was waiting for this until he felt Drifter’s lips pushing against his. He had almost convinced himself his intentions of coming here tonight really were purely educational.  


The kiss broke as Soxkt’s breathing peaked erratically, overwhelmed by the Drifter’s hands finding their way across him, running across his chest, his stomach, his thighs, no pretense of modesty or waiting for permission. Drifter fed tirelessly on the obscene noises his touch pulled out his companion and he pulled Soxkt close as he raked long lines up his back with his nails. Soxkt pulled him back into a kiss again but Drifter was restless, biting at his lip, running his tongue along the line of his jaw.  


“Drif-” A hand pressed over his mouth.  


“Hush. I’m gettin’ it out of my system now. Nothin’ wrong with that, yeah?” Drifter taunted and Soxkt’s stomach caught butterflies real fast. Drifter came at Soxkt’s neck teeth first and the Awoken shuddered at the bruise he felt blossoming. Drifter pulled away, seemingly satisfied. “Alright, alright. Let’s see how well this dumb idea works.”  


It didn’t work perfectly but somehow work it did. All it took was both men to lie on their sides, Drifter cradling Soxkt’s head against his bicep as they pressed flush together back to front. The zipper squeaked in protest but relented eventually and the two were locked in with hardly an inch of room to protest otherwise. Neither dared to be the first to break the silence as they settled against each other, as though not saying anything would keep quiet the obviously perilous situation they had found themselves in so suddenly.  


Soxkt was sure he might just pop like an overripe fruit bursting from it’s skin. He could feel every dip and curve of the Drifter’s body against his back, hear his heart beating through where he laid against his arm. And when the Drifter’s top arm wrapped around him, nestling him closer still, Soxkt also became acutely aware of what was poking him in the small of his back. He swallowed around his rapidly drying throat.  


“No need to be tense, hotshot. Relax.” Drifter’s hand squeezed at the scarred skin around Soxkt’s belly and smirked at the shocked “ah!” it got him. “Just don’t get too excited.” He sung mockingly and the elbow jab he received to his arm might’ve hurt if Soxkt had any force to put behind it. Soxkt was preparing to jab once more to sell his point of frustration but froze as he felt the Drifter’s face press against his shoulder, his lip at the back of Soxkt’s neck. Drifter sighed long and deep with a sound like relief and Soxkt felt his chest ache with something he couldn’t yet understand. Nervous, anxious, scared, he moved his top arm to lay over where Drifter’s had comfortably encircled his waist. He let his cheek rest on the soft underside of the Drifter’s arm. Drifter hummed peacefully as he felt his companion ease around him. All of this was so strange, so foreign to them, but damned if it wasn’t fulfilling an urge as just as strong as the carnal ones that drove them together in the first place.  


At some point, Drifter’s breathing slid to a sleep-like rhythm, deep and heavy. It was loud against the back of Soxkt’s ear but it soothed him anyways. His eyes were still open, adjusted to the dark by the now and trying to find comfort in the muted quiet around him. But his heart still hammered away ceaselessly, his mind still spinning in circles of extreme awareness of the body pressed against him. He had no clue how Drifter managed to fall asleep so easily especially after teasing him so intensely. He was almost tempted to wake him up himself. But his shyness won against that statement aided by the ringing taunt of ‘just sleeping’ Drifter kept pushing into his lap. Soxkt inhaled shakily. Well, damn it, he was a grown man. And he’d known how to take care of himself long before Drifter came into his life.  


Testingly, Soxkt shifted himself purposefully, just a bit of friction between the men’s bodies. Drifter remained still. A finger stroked the top of Drifter’s hand, gentle and curious. No response. He began to lower his hand slower and slower the further it moved along. His other arm was trapped beneath him and far too risky to wiggle free. When he eventually reached the top of his rib cage, he counted in his head to an arbitrary number until convinced Drifter wasn’t stirred from the minuscule movement.  


Soxkt’s fingers slid down to his stomach over the course of several minutes. He stopped again. The even breathing on his neck never paused or broke. He almost wanted to apologize to the Drifter for what he was about to do. False promise of ‘just sleeping’ or not, it still felt incredibly sleazy to take care of himself in this way. Maybe in the morning he’d confess. A nice secret to wake him to. But for now it was too shameful to bear so he pushed it out of his mind and proceeded.  


He could hardly let himself breathe. He knew at the end of the night, what he was attempting wasn’t going to give him any real relief anyways. It might even drive him further from real sleep. But he was drawn to this horrible decision anyways like a cat in heat, like the walls themselves were calling for him to touch and forget. Feeling his own hand resting above his navel was surging him with adrenaline and he knew there was no backing out from this point.  


His fingers slid down slowly further. He felt himself twitch involuntarily. Further.  


It was clinical how precise and fast the Drifter’s movements were. His breathing didn’t even change from its slow even pace until the crucial moment. The arm Soxkt had been resting on was locked around his neck before he could even register what was happening, his throat caught in the crook of the Drifter’s elbow. He might’ve had a chance to wrench himself free from the chokehold but a hand grabbed his descending wrist so hard, he worried the Drifter’s fingers would snap him into pieces.  


His arm was yanked behind him, forced between his own back and the Drifter’s stomach. He felt the Drifter’s hot skin under his palm from where his shirt had ridden up, the dark wiry hair between his fingers, and his vision spun in the darkness. He tried to gasp around the chokehold he was locked in, tried to free the arm under him, tried to block out the sound of Drifter shifting ever so slightly, putting his mouth right above Soxkt’s ear.  


“You ain’t touchin’ what’s mine are ya?”  


Soxkt moaned, an explicit approval of Drifter’s possessiveness escalating into a drawn out whine as Drifter’s hand let go of the trapped wrist and moved to clasp over his length. Gods above these hands. They were so large and warm and in the tiny tight space of the sleeping bag there was no escape from what they did to him. Not that he didn’t try. He flinched back on instinct but all he did was draw a hitched breath out of Drifter as they pressed harder together, giving a hint of attention towards Drifter’s own hardness. The Drifter squeezed in retaliation.  


“Ah-ah, not gettin’ out of this one kid. I caught ya red handed. What I tell you, huh?” Drifter’s voice ran wicked and sweet as he massaged Soxkt’s hardness over the fabric. “Hell to pay, baby. Hell to pay indeed.” Saccharine as the voice he used in the comms to praise the Guardians who ripped each other apart on his frontier.  


Drifter’s hand found its way down the front of the fabric containing Soxkt, taking his time to wrap his fingers around Soxkt’s cock. “You’re so good at making yourself easy, baby.” Drifter breathed against the back of his neck. “Easy prey. Easy to catch, easy to eat.” Drifter’s words were intoxicating, almost as much as the fingers that had begun to pull on his cock, stroking him in tight, small strokes, restricted by the sleeping bag. It was more than enough attention even in the limited space and he was grateful 

Drifter’s voice made it harder to hear the vulgar sounds he was making. He couldn’t even feign rejecting this treatment. It was like an itch being scratched so deep, the claws had sunk through his skin into his very Light.  


“What kind of sicko tries to touch himself next to a man just tryin’ to sleep? I knew you were a pervert but I didn’t think you’d be so weak.” Drifter bit gently at the edge of Soxkt’s ear, nipping at the sensitive skin. “Actin’ like you couldn’t feel how hard you got me, just goin’ to take care of yourself. Ain’t I nice to ya? Don’t I take care of ya?” Drifter stopped stroking and squeezed much to Soxkt’s chagrin who whined and squirmed in response. “Maybe I shoulda learned my lesson; Guys like you don’t need nice.”  


His fingers teased along Soxkt’s cockhead, torturing the sensitive spot with his fingertips, pulling wordless pleas from his throat. Soxkt could feel the Drifter’s heart hammering in his chest against his back, the way his labored breathing shook his body as he listened to Soxkt’s heated whimpering. The arm clutching at his chest had released and wormed its way back into the confines of the sleeping bag, squeezing itself through the tight space to free Drifter’s stiff cock. Soxkt could feel it push up against him as Drifter’s hand moved to squeeze with a bruising force at Soxkt’s ass, spreading him open and allowing Drifter’s cock to settle itself teasingly close to his entrance.  


Drifter’s teasing attitude took a hard turn as he freed his own desperate cock, spurred on by Soxkt’s body curled around him. “Bet you’re already ready for me, huh?” Drifter growled deeply and Soxkt felt a surge run down his spine at the Drifter’s deep voice in his ear. He responded with a drawn out moan, grinding back against the Drifter’s hips, arching as much as he could. Both of them contented the raging fire inside them for a moment by grinding against one another like desperate young Lights discovering for the first time.  


Drifter’s arm left Soxkt’s waist as they grinder together, his hand clumsily pushing against Soxkt’s gasping mouth, forcing his fingers in hard enough to gag. Soxkt felt the saliva run down the side of his face as Drifter finger fucked his mouth, merciless until satisfied with the wetness of his fingers. The hand ducked back into the sleeping bag again, just barely leaving Drifter enough room to grab at his own cock, wetting it and pulling a starving groan from himself. The brief touch only urged him on instead of alleviating the hunger inside him.  


Soxkt wanted to find a way to protest as he felt Drifter guide the head of his cock against his entrance with more force but he was just as eager as he was, equally as eager to neglect any slow or kind treatment. Besides, much as it embarrassed him, he knew he was ready enough just from the words fed to him earlier.  


“Beg.”  


There was enough aggression in that one word order Drifter gave to nip any cheeky response Soxkt might’ve had in the bud. His lips shook though, and he struggled to speak against the shame closing a hand around his throat. Drifter felt his hesitance and pressed forward.  


“You talked so nice earlier, I know what you’re capable of now.” Drifter was grinning, all teeth. “I bet even your clan don’t hear you much as I do. And now? I want to hear you ask for it.”  
Soxkt felt himself going light headed and his tongue seemed to move on his own accord, obedient to the cruel song Drifter sang.  
“Please, god, break me.”  


It was the clearest he’d ever spoken, even with his plea drawing his voice to a high whine. He didn’t even know where those words came from. If it gave Drifter any pause, he didn’t show it as he followed through on the request made of him.  
Drifter pushed through Soxkt’s entrance, the tight space unforgiving and forcing Drifter’s cock in deep from the get go. Soxkt felt his legs shake, the sudden intrusion more pleasure than pain though still pulling a hiss from his lips. Drifter was already gasping raggedly as he accustomed himself to Soxkt’s tightness, clutching at the Awoken and gripping him close, fingers digging into his skin as he forced their bodies flush together as much as he could. Soxkt found the last bit of resistance in him as he tried to find a way to make the intense feeling coursing through him lessen but Drifter wouldn’t budge, strong arming his way through the squirming. It somehow made Soxkt feel even smaller in his arms. It wasn’t often he felt useless. It was terrifying. He craved it.  


“I’ll break you, Chosen One.” Drifter rasped. “‘Til you ain’t worth nothin’ to that Vanguard anymore.” The arm around his waist moved low across Soxkt’s hips, digging into his navel for leverage as he thrusted once, the obscene call into the night igniting a ferocious fire within Drifter’s chest.  


Drifter pumped into him short and hard, buried deep inside Soxkt with not much space to pull out otherwise. It was unbearable how full Soxkt felt, the only relief an inch or two thrusting in and out of him like an animal. Soxkt could do little else but lie there and let himself be used as a bank for Drifter’s pent up aggression. The enclosed humidity of the insulated padding only made Soxkt more unable to pull his attention away from the sweat rolling down his spine, the sheer red hot need pulsating from his cock as it rubbed up against the padding, the only friction he could receive. But Drifter’s pushing into him felt far too good, his arms holding him tight far too good.  


Soxkt managed to wiggle free the hand trapped behind his back and he ignored his own pulsating need, arm craning back to cling to Drifter instead. The Drifter’s humid skin under his hand, feeling the tension of his body as he ravaged him. With every thrust and shameful noise he pulled from the Guardian, it was like Drifter was erasing another prideful layer the Vanguard draped around him.  


Soxkt squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to focus on the rhythmic, wild thrusting against him, feeling the coil in his stomach tighten and twist. He Was rushing closer and closer to the edge even with his cock untouched, overwhelmed with the new orgasm building inside him from being treated so disrespectfully. He knew Drifter wouldn’t last much longer with this pace either. His recently freed hand grabbed at the forearm locked around his neck, nails digging into the Drifter’s skin, pleading, begging him not to stop. The arm tightened around his throat in response and Soxkt felt his breathing struggle to remain even. That was the push he needed.  


Oh god. He was going to cum inside of this stupid sleeping bag.  


Oh no.  


Soxkt’s eyes popped open and the nails digging into his arm escalated from tender scratch lines to piercing. “D-Drifter! Wait! Wait!” He choked desperately.  
Drifter stopped but the frustrated snarl it came with almost pushed Soxkt right over the lip from the edge. Soxkt tried to talk fast, his mouth and throat staggering to keep up as he tried to regain the sense fucked out of him as oxygen slowly pooled back into his brain.  


“I-I! B-bag! I’m gonna- I’m- C-c-can’t f-finish, y-your bag-!“ Soxkt coughed dryly, wincing at his unused vocal chord’s strain. He wondered if Drifter had the wherewithal to understand him at all even if he did somehow managed to make sense. The Drifter’s breathing slowed from its restless panting, and Soxkt could feel him coming down from adrenaline high. His words must’ve clicked in his mind because eventually his breathing was slow and even again, his forehead pressing against Soxkt’s shoulder as he dropped his head.  


And then he laughed, weak and breathless.  


Soxkt’s confusion gave way to relief and he smiled lopsided as the Drifter struggled to control his laughter. He was still chuckling as Soxkt felt him unwrap his top arm from his waist, wiggling it free of the bag, and stretching to behind Drifter’s back as he twisted best he could in the tight space. The sound of fingers fumbling with a zipper turned to the sudden, sharp sound of a zipper speeding down fabric, stretched to near breaking from the tension of the two bodies pulling it apart. The sound startled them both and only made Soxkt join in on the quiet, ridiculous laughter.  


The laughter died slowly as Drifter pulled himself from Soxkt, both men shuddering as Drifter’s cock popped free before transitioning immediately into a shiver. The open bag exposed them both to the winter air, a refreshing balm to their overheated bodies that rapidly erred more on freezing. Drifter made a show of grunting as he flopped onto his back, rubbing a hand over his stomach, watching his breathing float up in the air above him. Soxkt rolled over, limbs aching, to stare at him, waiting, curious.  


Drifter peeked at him out of the corner of his eye. He smirked.  


“Good call, slick.”  


“Ha...I-I’m...sorry.”  


“Nah, it’s all good. Glad one of us had a lick of sense.” Drifter pinched his cheek, his other hand moving down to pull at the briefs still bunched around his hips, stroking himself slowly. “Shucks, you start talkin’ like you did and you make me lose my damn mind.”  


Soxkt beamed, his eyes adoringly turned up to the Drifter before being drawn back down, watching the Drifter work his length in his hand. Drifter let him watch the show for a moment, breaking the silence before it had a chance to settle.  


“What, you need an invitation or somethin’? Get up there.”  


Soxkt’s eyes went huge.  


“B-but…” He shrunk against the Drifter’s side, still nestling his head against his bicep.  


“But what?”  


Soxkt glowered. “C-cold, you...asshole.”  


Drifter laughed loudly and his hand tussled into Soxkt’s hair affectionately. “Just get up there. I’ll make it worth your while.” The hand tugged on the red locks and Soxkt whimpered. “Ain’t telling you a third time, got it?” The hint of a threat and the dangerous lilt in Drifter’s tone was more than encouragement enough.  


Soxkt sat himself up and gave a relieving shake of his limbs as he did so, stretching from the soreness of the tight space only to rapidly close up again as the cold hit him full force. The snow was so bright in the darkness, even with no light coming through. It seemed to glow and illuminate the small area. It helped make sure Soxkt didn’t topple off that crates as he carefully, nervously brought himself to straddle the Drifter. It was not a position he was used to.  


The Drifter laid out beneath him, the bright and soft light of the snow reflecting the scarred bits of skin across his face and body, the places where the skin dipped and stretched across him. All of him contrasted so harshly against the light especially as he pulled his shirt over his head, bringing his torso into the cold air. Imperfect and harshly used and so painfully good looking. Soxkt wondered how his own scars might look in the light and was grateful his back was to the snow. They’d never look so pretty.  


Soxkt felt the chill and wetness of wayward snow dripping onto his back as a stiff breeze kicked up outside, blowing wayward flecks of ice inside. He shook like a leaf. “Drifter…”  


“Be patient, Starlight.” Drifter reached a hand up, and Soxkt leaned over to press his cheek into the rough palm. Drifted stroked the side of his face, fingers moving to grip at his chin, opening Soxkt’s mouth, snaking his thumb inside. Soxkt panted as Drifter ran the pad of his thumb across the scarred tissue, the act terrifying and arousing. Soxkt couldn’t read his face but when they met eyes, Drifter winked and Soxkt tested his teeth gently against the knuckle.  


“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Cold. Got it.” Drifter pulled his hand back and lifted his hips slightly, forcibly positioning Soxkt over him. His voice had dropped to something akin to gentle, soothing. He was breathing deep, his chest rising and falling with a steady rhythm.  


Drifter’s hands locked themselves onto Soxkt’s hips like fitting into place, perfectly slotted against the dip and width of his navel. He held on tight, still talking softly in that warm drawl, as he tensed his grip. “I gotcha, baby. I gotcha…” He took a long deep breath.  


And Soxkt felt his chest bloom.  


Heat moved up from his hips, warm and glowing, and swallowed upwards across Soxkt’s torso. It dimmed in the curves around his shoulders and it didn’t go far down his arms but it was like orange sunlight in his veins even where the skin remained cold. It soothed across his dimpled flesh and he shivered again, this time from the strange and wonderful sensation. His eyes fluttered shut as he lost himself in it, feeling the icy wind blow snow onto his sizzling body and feeling it melt away down the curve of his spine.  


Solar.  


He wrapped his hands around the Drifter’s wrists, feeling the surging Light under his skin, or at least he pretended he could. He imagined it coursing like white hot fire through the Drifter’s veins, pumping into his palms and through him, mixing into his own Light. Two Lights intertwining fingers, clutching on tight in the winter air.  


It felt like heaven. It felt like love.  


“Better?” Drifter’s thumbs dug slightly into Soxkt’s hips, encouraging his eyes to open again. He looked down at the Drifter who was grinning lazily, shyly. He wasn’t immune to this, whatever it was, either. It was a comfort neither could deny, primal without being animalistic, raw without pain. Soxkt gave a small breathless laugh to himself, rubbing a hand across his waist.  


“Y-yes…I…Drifter-“ But his confession was cut short as the Drifter’s rough palms ran down his thighs.  


“Shhhh. I know, I know. Not now though. Right now, I need you to sit down real slow for me.”  


Drifter helped steady him as Soxkt repositioned himself slightly, hesitating as he braced the Drifter’s cock against his entrance. The heat radiating through him kept him from tightening up too much and he was relieved when he began to make his way down the Drifter’s length again. His eyes squeezed tight, his mouth hanging open as he accustomed himself again, knees shaking as he lowered himself inch by inch, slower and slower. Drifter’s eagerness got the best of him and once Soxkt dropped low enough, he felt his hips buck up, quick and brief, shoving the rest of him inside and eliciting Soxkt to curse loudly, eyes wide.  


When he took in the view of the Drifter beneath him, panting, something overrode his senses like nothing ever did before. His gaze darted away, embarrassment coloring the ends of his ears and the back of his neck. It was too much. They were too vulnerable. He was too beautiful. It pulled at something carnal in him and it reduced him down to nothing. He tried to find a part of the Drifter he could look at but he’d been reduced to a school boy so fast, virgin-like, afraid, longing for something he couldn’t comprehend. And he knew the Drifter was watching his panicking play out in real time across his face. He pressed his hands into his eyes, whimpering weakly, and he heard the Drifter laugh at him softly, stroking his thighs with gentle fingers.  


“S’ok…you ain’t gotta look at me.”  


Soxkt’s heart lurched, his embarrassment taking a backseat to his knee jerk desire to comfort as he reached out instinctively, cupping Drifter’s rough cheek in his hand, touching the scarred skin under the pad of his thumb. He still couldn’t look at Drifter directly but forced his wavering gaze to at least watch Drifter’s mouth. Drifter pressed into the touch, his mouth a firm line before breaking into a half grin.  


“Nah nah nah, I don’t mean like that. I know you…heh, you got weird tastes in old guys, sicko. I know you’d watch me all day if you could. But I can’t for the life of me look at you either right now. And you’re a lot easier on the eyes than ol’ Drifter.”  


“I-I’m…I-it’s just…”  


“I know. I know. I feel it. Close your eyes.”  


Soxkt obeyed soundlessly.  


“Ride.”  


Soxkt obeyed but not so quietly. He felt like honey, vicious and liquid and golden. He rode up Drifter’s length before sinking back down, slow like a wave, his eyes rolling beneath his lids but keeping them shut. In the dark, all he could feel was Drifter pushing inside him, invading him like a warm welcome. He heard with perfect clarity every ragged breath Drifter took as they rocked together.  


Drifter never stopped touching him. He kept his hands on his thighs, his hips, dragged lines across his navel. When Soxkt braced himself against his chest, he felt the Drifter’s hands stroke up his arms, wrap around his wrists, until his palms began to slide and Drifter followed without question. Soxkt felt his hands pressed over Drifter’s and he held on for dear life. He wanted to open his eyes, see his fingers interlocked on either side of the Drifter’s head. It would break everything if he did though so he squeezed his eyes shut and the noise in his chest cried out, warning him of the dangerous waters he was in.  


But they didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. More dangerous than the Vanguard finding out what they were doing. More dangerous than the Taken who slept in motes deep in the bank aboard the ship, always too close for comfort. More dangerous than a destiny that hung over them both, far bigger and more important than they feared. Nothing compared in fear right now to the way Drifter turned his head, gasping lightly, cursing between his teeth like a prayer, pressing his lips to the small bit of Soxkt’s wrist he could reach.  


Slow could only abate the need for so long for them both. Drifter began to meet Soxkt’s push back with his own, changing the pace gradually until it was back to the same pace within the sleeping bag; raw and hungry. Soxkt pulled himself up again, calling out into the darkness behind his eyes with each aggressive push back. But Soxkt’s cock wasn’t denied attention as before and he almost opened his eyes at the sensation of Drifter’s hand wrapping around him, his only restraint the grip of arousal in submitting to this simple command. Drifter’s touch was like a line still connecting him to this plane and he didn’t feel like anything except what Soxkt wanted; a cruel and dark old man he could never truly have.  


“Watch.”  


Soxkt didn’t have the willpower to resist the single word order even if he wanted to. He opened his eyes with a slow blink and stared down at Drifter’s hand pumping at him, watched his scarred body bounce on another scarred body. He felt the same dreamy feeling again as the first night he slept with the Drifter, the feeling that kept following them both, that warbling of the mind that made him think it was all too good to be true.  


“P-please…” he begged, stretching out the last syllable as he pushed himself to match Drifter’s roughened pace, the lack of discretion towards his own sensitivity almost impossible to bear. He watched the Drifter’s jaw clench right at the top of his lowered gaze.  


“That’s it baby, just like that, just like that, show me you want it...” He urged through gritted teeth, his hand’s eagerness to pull Soxkt over the edge spurred on by the desperate plea.  


Soxkt came across the Drifter’s stomach, the erotic view of his cock cumming across the pale skin only furthering the orgasm that shook him. He arched back, holding tight to the Drifter’s thighs, relinquishing his control entirely to the thrusting of Drifter’s hips and his firm, slow stroking. He wanted to have the shame to try and quiet the noises he was making but Drifter seemed adamant on making sure he was loud as possible. Not scared of the shadows hearing anymore. Boldly unafraid.  


The Drifter threw the last of his patience aside, spurred on by the noises ringing through his ship, his thrusting erratic and desperate as he locked Soxkt in place to push himself over the edge. Soxkt bucked uselessly, equal parts resisting the intense treatment of his over sensitive body and trying to push Drifter over with him. Drifter came close behind like a caged animal, a drawn out gasp as he emptied himself. Soxkt smiled in exhausted satisfaction at the feeling of himself being filled.  


They stayed that way for a while. Soxkt wasn’t even sure how they were supposed to come away anymore. It seemed such a tragedy to pull their Lights apart, their bodies apart, when everything seemed to be beating together in harmony But somehow, they did. Somehow they pulled apart from each other and pieced themselves back together into whole beings again. They moved through the awkward and quick motions of putting their vulnerability back behind their masks, cleaning the evidence off their skin, the muttered “you okay?”s the only words spoken and done more out of habit than actual checking in.  


And as though nothing had even happened, they were back in the sleeping bag zipped up tight, less clothed than before but cleaner, more tired, more themselves again.  


“Starlight?” Drifter said softly.  


“Hm?” Soxkt blinked his eyes open from where he had begun to doze off, his head once again pillowed by Drifter’s arm, eased into sleeping by the roughened fingers lazily stroking at his stomach.  


“You ain’t never getting’ close to me.”  


It was a comically ironic statement but Soxkt didn’t feel like laughing. The two were so tightly pressed together in this sleeping bag, bodies pulsing in time as their adrenaline wore down. Soxkt focused on the fading feeling of their Light intertwined like they were meant to find each other. Like every missing piece was fit back into place. Like it was the only thing tethering them to this ship, this universe, this timeline.  


“…What?”  


“Don’t ‘what’ me. I know you know what I’m on about.” The Drifter groaned slightly as he shifted, his top arm snaking itself tighter around Soxkt’s waist, his fingers stopping in their rhythim stroking. “You’re the best damn warm body I’ve had in a real long time. And long as I got you in Gambit and behind my back, I can stop sleepin’ with one eye open... as much. You’re a real useful son of a bitch, interestin’ on top of that…but I ain’t lettin’ ya be anything more than that. And you shouldn’t want anythin’ else either.”  


Was that Soxkt’s original goal in coming here? He didn’t know. Drifter spoke like it was. Soxkt couldn’t neatly sort his feelings out, not with things like this. All of his feelings melded together into a throbbing hunger that drove him to do reckless, stupid things like break into his shack so he could learn how to put a gun back together. He knew better than to do anything with the intention of making things more than they were but he couldn’t deny there was a chance some stupid, naïve feeling could be in that hunger.  


“…You like me.”  


Drifter’s beard shifted against his shoulder as he smiled. “Heh, shucks, I guess I do. Eats you up a lot more than it eats me though. I don’t mind likin’ you. Makes everything go a lot smoother.”  


Soxkt gave a grimace Drifter couldn’t see but could hear through his sigh. It was a little exhausting how right the old man could be in his mind.  


“Drifter…What are you…trying to tell me really?”  


“I’m telling you we’re doing some dangerous shit here but long as we both remember what’s really going on, we don’t gotta worry ‘bout nothin’. Trust.”  


“Trust? ...You lied... to me earlier.”  


“Yeah? You didn’t call me on it though.” The arms curled tighter. “And we know why.”  


They laid still for a while, the dissonance between their words and the physical connection between them flipping Soxkt’s stomach like a laundry machine.  


“Then...tell me. What is...really going on?”  


Soxkt could feel the Drifter thinking, his fingers tracing gentle circles on his skin as he thought before finally speaking. “We ain’t good people, Starlight. Said so yourself. I don’t know what your story is yet but I know good guys don’t feel the way we do. They also won’t be the ones savin’ this universe when the time comes.”  


Drifter breathed deep and Soxkt almost though he heard something else behind the tiredness of his tone. “We’re just animals at the end of the day and an animal sometimes needs a little bit more than just eatin’ to get by. I’m usin’ you. You’re usin’ me. It’s keepin’ us alive. And I’m pretty invested in keeping us both breathin’.”  


This must be what he was feeling. Relief. It had to be. He breathed in a slow steady inhale but the weight didn’t leave his shoulders even if the words he knew were supposed to satisfy him. He kept his breathing even and deep and eventually he felt the Drifter’s match his on the back of his neck and he so badly wanted to sleep with him. But the feeling didn’t go away. It sat on his chest the longer the short night sped on and even though it was so clear, so obvious, he couldn’t stop rolling the Drifter’s words around in his head.  


Relief never felt so heavy.


	6. Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightmares are getting worse and going away slower after he wakes up every time. Soxkt turns to the Drifter to forget but things fall apart fast. The two agree to drink their cares away and a surprisingly tender conversation arises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, surprise, we got actual plot in here kind of. Start to see what these two see in each other. Also, why Starlight is Soxkt's gambit assigned nickname. No smut this time.

Uldren Sov is dead again. 

Soxkt watches as his best friends stand by the prince’s body, next to the woman who soothingly called him cousin just moments ago. They are arguing, progressively growing louder. They have, for the time, forgotten both him and the body they are feet from. 

Soxkt rubs at his eyes. He is curled up into a ball in the corner of the room. His gun is a good ten feet from him, forgotten on the floor. The organic, conduit Taken servitor is rotting in the center of the floor. The scattered shields of Taken phalanxes litter the room, the bodies long disintegrated. There is blood on the tile. 

And Uldren Sov is staring at him. 

Soxkt watches him sit up, touching the gunshot wound in his neck and his forehead gingerly. He looks at the blood on his fingers, rubbing it into his skin. Soxkt realizes he’s trembling furiously when they glimpse eye contact with one another. Uldren smiles bright and wide at him. 

“Do you think you’re absolved of this murder? Do you think you are free of your consequences?” 

His voice echoes and fills the entire room with its softness. Soxkt watches as Draknus, Sigurd, Petra, they keep arguing as though in slow motion. Uldren rises to his feet, carefully. He sweeps his long cape behind him and it ripples like water. 

“Oh foolish Guardian. You did not pull the trigger but your own profound sorrow kept you from saving his life.” Uldren continues, stepping with precise and steady footfalls towards Soxkt. His boots click on the cold floor like a metronome. Soxkt can’t pull his eyes away and he can’t move from where he’s shivering against the wall, hands pressed to his face, looking between his fingers at the undead prince. 

“You knew his death would bring you no sweet comfort. You even believed, near the end, there was someone in him worth saving. Hm. You’ve never thought about saving anyone before.” Uldren is speaking so soothingly, like a mother, a lover, a piece of Soxkt that tended to the doubts and fear that lived inside him. As he gets closer, Soxkt watches as he lazily kicks his gun further across the floor. “And yet you let yourself fail anyways.” 

“In a single moment, you betrayed the friendship of Cayde-6 by thinking the man who laid him to rest deserved to live while he remained cold. And in the same moment, you betrayed the prince of the reef, letting your own pain paralyze you and watch as your companions took the only life he had. You saved no one. You honored no memory. Your actions were merely your own. Purely, truly...selfish.” 

Uldren crouches low, inches from Soxkt’s face. The blood from his wounds drips onto the warlock’s robes. He was still smiling, blood staining his teeth dark. And though his voice reached a whisper, it continued to fill the room. “You do not regret the lives of the Barons you took. You do not regret all the lives that had to fall around you for Uldren to become who he was. Or all the bodies that lift you up to where you are today. You are so...precise in what you regret, in what ails you, you imperfect being.” 

Soxkt feels ice running through his chest and Uldren touches his trembling cheek, softly. Darkness clouds at the edges of Soxkt’s eyes as he struggles to remain conscious in his dread. “He recognized no one at the end.” Uldren soothes. “His mind and will was our own when the time came. But...he recognized you right before the life left his body. He even called your name in his heart. Do you want to know the name he called you, my love?” 

Uldren opens his mouth and with a booming noise, somewhere, a raven caws and the dream shatters like glass. 

Soxkt bolted awake, gasping for air, sweat rolling down the sides of his face, heart hammering in a panic in his chest. His stomach lurched and it was a mad scramble from the bed to the bathroom sink as he spat up bile that rose in his throat and burned his mouth. He kept himself bent low over the sink, hitting the faucet to let the cold water run, waiting for his breathing to settle. He couldn’t look at the reflection across from him. He was fearful he would see a different man looking back at him. 

“The water helps best if you put it on your skin instead of just letting it go down the drain.” Ventriloquist’s snark is omnipresent but it’s tone is gentle. “You have roommates now, can’t waste water.” Soxkt makes a garbled noise of understanding and begins the unsteady process of piecing himself together again, starting with the cold feeling of water on his face pulling him from one reality to the next. 

As he wipes a towel across his face a few minutes later, he looks at where Ventriloquist is floating in the doorway, restroom lights glinting off the shell. “You can’t stop those dreams from happening, can you?” He thinks and Ventriloquist’s shell seems to droop slightly. 

“No, I’m sorry. I...I don’t have any control over that.” He replies weakly. “I can do a lot but not that.” 

“It’s okay. I think they are getting worse now though. If they keep happening...” Soxkt pulled his shirt off as he thinks, glimpsing himself in the mirror and wincing at the sight of his own scars. He looked back into his bedroom, staring at the lonely darkness and the starless sky poking through his blinds. His mind was already made up. “V, can you get on the Drifter’s feed? See if he’s up?” 

Ventriloquist’s eye blinks. “Are...are you sure that’s a good choice in confidant for tonight’s vision? Did you maybe mean Draknus, your reliable, decently good friend instead?” 

“No. The Drifter. And I’m not calling him to tell him about the vision. Besides, more likely he’s up than anyone else.” Soxkt beckons the Ghost closer with a finger and it floats over begrudgingly. 

He clicks onto the Drifter’s feed once, twice, three times, a signal he’s been using to parse himself from the other Guardians who are constantly trying to get in contact with him as well. He keeps his hand rested on top of Ventriloquist, grounded by the cold metal and the smoothness of the shell’s edges as he waits for the connection to click on, if it clicks on. Ventriloquist pushes into it’s Guardian’s palm and is grateful for the tired smile it pulls. 

“That you, Starlight? Still awake?” Drifter’s voice came from the Ghost’s speakers, surprisingly alert and clear. 

Soxkt startled and grabbed Ventriloquist in his hand, hesitating, squeezing a bit too tightly. He stared at his Ghost’s single eye. Ventriloquist seems to seize and relax it’s shell with a sigh. 

“He’s awake. He wants to know if you would have his company tonight.” Ventriloquist doesn’t even bother with sounding pedantic, his eye never moving from his Guardian. 

“Well, heh, ain’t you polite for a booty call.” Drifter mocked at hearing the Ghost talk. It is so strange hearing the Drifter now in this dazed state, like hot oil burning away the dreamy reality that still hung in Soxkt’s room. It’s as grounding as the steel in his hand. Soxkt slumped against the bathroom door frame in relief. 

“Ew. I put up with a considerable amount but I’d make him call you himself for that.” Ventriloquist responded dryly, expertly hiding the lie in his very real disgust. He squirmed free from Soxkt’s hand, hovering a few feet from his face. “Can he come over or not, Drifter?” 

“No need to get pushy, munchkin. It’s fine by me. The Derelict is always welcome to your Guardian... at any hour.” There’s a brief pause. “He there?” He asked, his voice shifting slightly. 

“He’s right in front of me.” 

“You good, hotshot?” 

Soxkt swallowed. “Yeah.” He grumbled weakly, a half whisper at best. 

He listened as the Drifter sighed, partially covered up by the clatter of metal on metal somewhere. “C’mon down. Let’s get you fixed right.” The feed shuts with a click. Soxkt wiped at his face. 

“You know he’s just a distraction, right? From the actual thoughts you’re having?” Ventriloquist immediately pestered as the call went quiet, spurring Soxkt’s frustration. 

“No, he’s more than that.” Soxkt argued, walking to his wardrobe as Ventriloquist zipped behind him. 

“How?” 

“He already knows what I am. I don’t need to hide my bullshit. And I’m too tired to go out and pretend to be something I’m not.” Soxkt thinks in a tone that is a signal for his Ghost to not push further. As he gets dressed, Ventriloquist speaks up softly despite the tonal warning. 

“I know you too.” 

Soxkt looked over his shoulder at the hovering shell. His heart pulsed with pity and he reached, palm out. He watched as his Ghost flew straight through him and transmats through his skin. 

“Then you understand.” His arms crossed tightly over his chest. Sometimes, he thinks he can feel the metal of the shell against his ribcage. “You know exactly what I’m doing.” 

... 

The rushing force of the transmat onto The Derelict’s catwalk was still keeping Soxkt shaky on his feet when Drifter’s mouth pressed against his. He had hardly a moment to take in the gloomy ship or the handsome man who was already walking him back against the railings. His eyes shut tight as Drifter claimed dominion over his lips with a feverish intensity. The rushing lustful surge in his stomach was already doing wonders to the fear that had been seizing him since he woke up. He gave back gratefully, his fingers dug through the Drifter’s hair, arms encircling tight around his neck. His sound of surprise was muffled by the kiss as Drifter grabbed at his ass, already eager enough for his hands to wander. 

They moved fast. The Drifter’s hands were already lifting back up, squeezing between where their chests pressed together, grabbing for the zipper of Soxkt’s jacket, trying to make quick work of the first layer in his way. Soxkt moaned into the kiss, helping work himself free, eager. He envisioned the Drifter’s hands on the backdrop of his shut eyes, feeling them crawl their way against his stomach, encircling behind his back- 

Until the darkness behind Soxkt’s eyelids wasn’t just darkness anymore. It was a dark maw, full of teeth. It was swirling with the same energy that nestled in the motes Soxkt gunned for in Gambit matches and that slept in the guns deeper within the Derelict. It was chewing on a blue arm that was screaming, screaming, screaming for his sister, screaming for him- 

Soxkt shoved at Drifter’s chest, eyes popping open wide but not able to pull away from the vision that flashed before him, like a dream that tried to persist after you woke. It was the Drifter looking at him, flushed, confused, a little scared. It was the yellow eyes in a handsome blue face, clear, awake, begging and lost. It was the Derelict, freezing and huge and expansive. It was the Dreaming City, bright in the sunlight but cold, ice cold, falling to the void grip the Taken swallowed it in. Soxkt tried to speak but his own hand closed around his throat. He was terrified of what might come out as images came one at a time, eating up his consciousness bite by bite. 

“Hey hey hey, Soxkt? Soxkt?! Oh shit. What is it, what the hell are you seeing? Hey, can you hear me?!” Drifter’s hand pressed against Soxkt’s face, his thumb pressing up against Soxkt’s brow, pushing his lid open wide and peering intensely into the whites of his golden eyes as though looking for something in them. Soxkt barely flinched. He couldn’t hear his own panicked breathing, couldn’t feel the sweat rolling down his face, let along recall the man in front of him even existed. He saw a white pagoda in the middle of green. He saw the baroughn boughs that dotted the Dreaming City’s landscape. He saw a grave draped in white. Blood. Blood. BLOOD. 

“C’mon, stay with me, stay with me baby. Snap out of it.” Drifter said with a tint of urgency as he grabbed at Soxkt’s wrist, wrenching with effort the hand that had been slowly tightening around Soxkt’s own throat, laboring his breathing. Soxkt’s knees had begun to give out as he showed no signs of pulling himself from the stupor, lost in an expanse only he could see. Drifter’s own breathing was starting to shake and he swallowed. “Sorry, sweetheart.” He muttered low. 

With a crack, his palm connected with Soxkt’s cheek and Soxkt reeled. The vision split down the middle and reality kicked him in the stomach like a horse. He whimpered weakly, scared, trying to pull away but Drifter was gripping his chin and his wrist like iron. “Look at me right now. Look at me.” His snarl was angry but when Soxkt did look at him, he only saw concern and a fresh coat of fear in the Drifter’s eyes. 

They stared each other down for a long moment. Drifter’s eyes flicked back and forth, looking for something in Soxkt’s gaze. When he evidently didn’t find anything, he exhaled slowly and let go, placing both his hands on Soxkt’s shoulders instead. “You ever, ever, pull that shit on me again without warning and I’m not accepting anymore calls from you, you hear me?” Drifter’s voice was the most serious it had possibly ever been with him and Soxkt felt as old as his soul, eyes welling up like a child’s. 

He wanted to sign an apology but his arms were trembling too terribly and his fingers shook uselessly. Drifter watched him try to piece together words for a moment and remember where he was standing. “You didn’t know, did you?” Drifter’s voice softened slightly and his hands moved down to run down Soxkt’s arms as Soxkt nodded. 

“That the first vision you’ve gotten?” 

“When I’m awake.” Soxkt eventually managed to sign. Drifter grimaced slightly. 

“Shit. Yeah, ok. That...yeah, that’ll explain a lot. Ok. Ok.” Drifter let go for a moment as he sighed, scratching at the back of his neck. He stared at the still half shaking Awoken in front of him, watching as he tried to find his composure. Drifter couldn’t blame him; he was still searching for his own. He reached out, his fingers roughly wiping at the tears Soxkt didn’t realize he was crying. “Hey. None of that. You’re fine. Ol’ Drifter gonna take care of you, yeah?” His voice was gruff but he tried to find kindness in himself, tried to find a compassion he knew he didn’t have. 

Soxkt nodded weakly, placing a hand to his heart, feeling it beat away tirelessly. He steadied himself, drawing his shoulders back before signing. “Can we drink?” 

Drifter barked a laugh he stopped short with a hand over his mouth. “No question about it. You need something strong. C’mon.” Drifter took him by the wrist and tethered the two together down the winding sides of the Derelict, into the still alien frozen world Drifter’s shipping crate was nestled in. Drifter pretended he wasn’t watching Soxkt walk himself in, staggering around the mess on the floor before making himself comfortable at the edge of the folding table doubled as a bed. 

Soxkt watched as Drifter cracked open a dented weapons locker and pulled out a newly familiar bottle of whiskey, thankful for the cold air in his lungs keeping him on the ground. Drifter was already dressed down for the evening and Soxkt busied himself looking at the deep cut that ran across his forearm, staring at the paled skin around it, the deep jagged lines within it. He greedily made grabby hands at the glasses Drifter pulled out, clinging to the empty glass like a beacon, relishing the smooth glass in his palms. 

“So...we gonna talk about all that mess back there?” Drifter asked as he uncorked the whiskey, avoiding direct eye contact. 

Soxkt hesitated but once he realized Drifter was genuinely waiting for an answer, he shook his head curtly. 

“You do you, brother. If it gets worse, these visions, the Vanguard is gonna catch on eventually though. Trust. If you wanna handle it before that, you know where to find me.” Drifter shrugged, pouring a sizable portion of the whiskey into Soxkt’s waiting glass. He gave a crooked half smile as Soxkt hesitated before signing “Thank you.” 

“You sure know how to kill a mood, I’ll give ya that.” Drifter teased and Soxkt smiled apologetically. “Not the way I saw tonight goin’. Ain’t polite to make a man all excited and cut it off so fast. What am I supposed to do?” Soxkt rolled his eyes and the pointed jerk off motion he gave in response pulled a laugh from the Drifter that cleared the fog hanging over them. 

“Feelin’ ok now?” 

Soxkt signed clumsily with his free hand. “As okay as I can be.” 

“You sore I hit you?” 

Soxkt shook his head quickly. “I’ve taken a lot worse.” He signed and Drifter smirked. 

“Well, I didn’t enjoy doing it for what it’s worth.” Drifter said, waiting as Soxkt began to down his whiskey. “Though if you’d asked me to do it again, I’d be inclined to oblige you, sicko.” He glowed watching Soxkt choke on his last sip and stare at him with wide, exasperated eyes that asked ‘Why?!’ through a red face. “What? Seemed like your kinda kinky shit. Just lettin’ you know where I stand, for your sake.” Drifter chuckled to himself as Soxkt wiped at his chin, plunking his empty glass next to him. 

“Well, you showed up for some reason I’m assumin’. What can I do for you, kiddo? Talk to Drifter.” Drifter drawled, sitting himself cross legged on the table across from his new drinking partner, tipping his own drink back fast and easy. 

Soxkt smiled, waving a hand dismissively, blinking as his drink glass was sharply pushed into it again. He carefully balanced the glass between his knees. “You don’t need to do anything.” He signed as Drifter began to refill the glass. “I just needed to get out of the house.” 

“This normal for you Warlocks? Strolling ‘round late at night?” Drifter asked, sitting up straight and filling his own glass again. 

“Normal for me lately.” 

“Yeah? Where were you goin’ at this hour before I let the cat drag you in?” 

Soxkt gave a half shrug. “Just around.” He signed, trying to seem nonchalant but he saw the Drifter’s eyebrow quirk in some curiosity at the vague reply. He bit his tongue though and skillfully redirected the questioning to a more potent vein. 

“How lately we talkin’?” 

Soxkt squinted suspiciously and Drifter pretended not to notice. “Why?” 

“Tryin’ to get a timeline going in my head. Just funny: picturing the Hero of the Red War getting shit faced in bars and getting some in alleyways. Even Zavala would blush.” He smirked as Soxkt groaned and rubbed at his own blushing face, plowing forward before he had to watch him sign rejections at the statement. “This happen since dear old Cayde took a dirt nap?” 

“...Close enough.” Soxkt grumbled, cupping his glass in both hands as he drank, still red faced. Drifter chuckled. 

“Oh, ha, I see. You lose a buddy and suddenly you’re playin’ Gambit and sneaking out late at night to mess around, running from nightmares, all that. That’s one way to search for closure. I ain’t judgin’. Doubt you’re the only one doin’ it too.” 

Soxkt wasn’t enjoying this conversation's thread and he forced himself to ignore where the lights strung along the top of the crate threw long shadows, afraid of what he might see in them if he looked too hard. Drinking wasn’t exactly stationing him firmly in this reality anymore but it sure was making it harder to feel the guilt in his chest. 

“You wouldn’t get it.” Soxkt signed. 

“Yeah? Try me.” Drifter pushed but Soxkt was already setting up his walls again, closing in on himself as he pressed himself into the back corner where the table met the wall. 

“You always ask me questions.” He signed in retort. 

“I’m real excited to hear you start sayin’ why that’s a bad thing.” Drifter quipped, grinning into his glass. Soxkt aimed a weak kick at his knee but he was still looking thoughtful. Of all the side effects, the most blessed was the alcohol coursing through him tainted his overthinking so warmly. It turned the dark corners of his own thoughts into amber even when it couldn’t change the physical shadows he sat near. Bitterness into sweet. 

“You don’t know anything about me though.” 

“Ain’t you here because I know you better than anyone?” 

Soxkt smiled, rubbing his fingers to brush the chill away before signing again. “You know the important things. What about the unimportant things?” 

“What about ‘em? Unimportant for a reason.” Drifter regretted the words as he said them and winced at his own coldness but thankfully the liquor was starting to work its way in and gave Soxkt enough of a happy disposition to ignore them. He stared up at the Gambit emblazoned tarp on the wall. 

“I think your favorite color is green.” He signed, the light reflecting bright and strange in his eyes. “I think your favorite alcohol is brandy but you drink whiskey because it’s easier to get. I think you like warm weather more than cold weather.” He looked at Drifter, smiling wide when he saw the strangely pure amusement on the man’s scarred face, watching his hands with interest. “I bet you drink your coffee black. You think the bow is the best weapon ever made.” He scooter away from where his back rested against the wall, inching closer to the Drifter. “And I think you think today’s music is shit.” 

Drifter responded to this rattling list with the heavy bottom clunk of his glass on the nearest flat surface, and pulling Soxkt closer by the wrists. Soxkt chuckled and melted as Drifter kissed at his jaw, humming deep in his chest. 

“You ain’t never asked me any of that. Lot of guessin’.” Drifter murmured against the warm skin. Soxkt pushed him back gently, still smiling but hesitatingly. 

“I thought you wouldn’t like if I asked you those kinds of questions.” He signed and Drifter almost looked proud of him. It made Soxkt feel both accomplished to bask in his pride and acutely aware of the sadness in his belly. 

“Safe to keep boundaries. Smart.” Drifter commended as he watched Soxkt scoot himself back to his nestled corner and though they were both smiling, a heaviness had hung itself over them. Drifter laughed ruefully at the uncomfortable feeling as he grabbed his glass again off the overturned weapon crate he had set it on. 

“Alright, fine. Tell me something then.” He told the bottom of his drink. 

Soxkt perked up. “What do you want to know?” 

Drifter squinted as though the remaining drops of alcohol in his drink would tell him the right question to ask. He wanted to know a lot. The weight of what he wanted to know almost pinned his tongue to the bottom of his mouth. It was a long equation to piecing together what mattered, what didn’t matter, and what he’d allow himself to have. 

As he swirled the dregs of his drink, he finally asked in careful words. “What would you do...if you were...just anyone down there in that city? Wake up tomorrow, no Ghost, no Light, just you and the clothes on your back. No one even remembers who you are.” 

Soxkt’s eyebrows raised and he exhaled loudly, rolling his head back before he burst into a laugh that startled Drifter. 

“You couldn’t ask me my favorite color?” He signed with a smirk. 

“Nah, I already know that.” Drifter drawled easily. 

“...Really?” 

“Gold. You slap a damn shader of it on every gun I throw your way. No stalling.” 

Soxkt tapped his legs as he thought. “I never thought about it before.” He signed after a minute. 

“I figured as much.” 

“Have you thought about it?” 

Drifter gave a curt shake of his head. “No use day dreamin’ these days. Hell, guess there never was a day where it was worthwhile. No point in wastin’ time on ‘what ifs’. Gotta play with the cards we’re dealt and suck it up.” 

“Then why are you asking me now?” 

“You gonna answer the question or not?” Drifter brute forced his way through the question. 

Soxkt wanted to press but an answer had come to him and he smacked his leg a few times in excitement before signing. “I want to have a farm!” 

“A farm, huh?” 

Soxkt nodded and then hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck before signing in short bursts as he pieced his thoughts together. “I see families on the outskirts. Small plots of land. Big plots of land, shared with neighbors. Animals. Plants. Food. Clothes. Make, sell, trade with other families. Happy, busy, sustainable. Very beautiful. Very free. Survive off the land and your community. Small life.” 

Drifter nodded slowly and his eyes closed once he saw Soxkt pause long enough. “Ain’t always so nice and idyllic. It can get brutal out there. Not as hard as it ever was but it’s a helluva lot of work and you’re at the wills of animals, raiders, Mother Nature herself. And she’s a cold lady.” He peeked open an eye. “Why that?” 

Soxkt shrugged, suddenly looking sheepish. Drifter wasn’t having it and he nudged Soxkt’s foot with his own. “C’mon. You got me interested now.” Soxkt shrunk in on himself more but his weak smile betrayed his heart. “I’ll let you ask me somethin’ after. Won’t even give you shit for it.” He bribed and Soxkt sighed, straightening his shoulders. Even whiskey couldn’t help every dark spot. 

“I could make things with my own hands. Give life to things instead of take it. I could do good for others in a way I could see. Personal. Small actions but big impacts. I could...” Soxkt stopped signing, rubbing his hands together. Shame was a hard color to turn to amber. He spoke softly, as though hiding from the feeling that was walking through his head. “It...would be nice...to only care about...my own survival...for once.” 

Drifter was quiet and Soxkt laughed nervously, rubbing at his face, rubbing away at the line of tension in his brow before quickly signing. “I don’t know why I’m nervous saying all this. You already know I’m a bad person.” 

The immediate rebuttal almost spat out before Drifter could stop himself and instead of wrestling with the fragile ache in his heart those words brought him, he leaned over and grabbed the whiskey bottle. As he refilled their tumblers, he spoke casually, his voice a salve over the hurt. “Seems like a luxury now but damned if it wasn’t the norm for a long, long time. It was every man for himself out there in the Dark. You would’ve been a hell of a force back then, Starlight.” He gave a light hearted half shrug, a smile pulling the scars across his cheek taunt. “Heh, I always knew if we met once upon a time, I’d let you roam a little with me, join the crew. You shoot damn well enough to earn your keep, that’s for sure.” 

Soxkt was reinvigorated by the sweet words and the harsh drink and he grinned. “I’m cute too.” He teased and Drifter barked a laugh. 

“Yeah, not a lot of that in the Dark Ages either! You’d have been quite the catch. I’d have to keep an eye on you. Make sure you don’t get snatched up.” 

Soxkt quirked an eyebrow. “Are you...possessive?” He questioned, a subtle chance to dig into the psyche of Drifter while he was open. 

Drifter let himself give a bit of thought to his answer, openly drinking in the nice view of Soxkt’s eagerness in front of him. “Like I said. You’d be a rare specimen in my days, hotshot. And I’ve never been the best man at sharin’ especially things that are...rare.” 

“...I like it.” 

“Heh. I’m aware, honey. You like everything about me you shouldn’t...and then some. Freak.” Drifter leered. “That your one question for me?” 

Soxkt shook his head and leaned forward. “Why do you call me Starlight?” He signed. 

Drifter made a face that sent Soxkt into giggles. “What game you playin’? I know I’ve told you before, more or less.” 

“Only in pieces. I want the whole story.” Soxkt admitted easily enough, head tilting, looking pleadingly at the Drifter. 

“Yeah? Your head not big enough yet, punk?” Drifter heaved himself from where he sat and moved to his work table, easily pulling a stool under him as he pushed around the pieces, searching. Soxkt took the opportunity to lay flat on his back on the folding table table, glass resting on his stomach as he made himself as comfortable as he could on the hard surface. 

Finally, the Drifter found his prize and lifted a sniper scope with a pristine glass lens. “This.” He said, turning it slowly in his hand, watching the little orange lights glimpse off. “When you first came ‘round to Gambit, I had no clue what you’d become much less if I’d ever be seeing you again after a match or two. I doubt you had any idea either. And when you started getting good and you started reapin’, I thought everything just fell into place, easy as you like. You’re the meanest mother’ as they come against those enemies of humanity types.” 

Drifter leaned back, enjoying the wide eyed attention being given to his story. “Then you had that one match. Wooo boy! The enemy invader had a bone to pick with you and the rest of your team. Took your lead and sunk it fast. And I knew you were steaming up, just like your teammates were. This was right ‘round the time you started to give a shit about Gambit whether you were admittin’ it or not. Still quiet as all get out but I knew you were gonna pop soon. Could feel it. I made sure I had all my eyes on you for the moment you did.” 

“And when that invader bust over for the fourth time through that portal, I watched as some crazy switch got flipped inside you. You booked it like mad to the highest ledge you could climb up. You transmat down a gun I ain’t never seen you use before. And you popped that psycho son’ like it was personal before he even knew where he was.” Drifter smiled long and slow at Soxkt’s humbled expression, watching him trace the rim of his cup shyly. “What can I say? You caught my eye a little that day. Just like you shot out the eye of every damn idiot who dared try to pull one over your team since.” 

Drifter tossed the scope up and caught it fast. “Last thing they’re seeing. A glint of light up in the sky. Starlight indeed.” 

Soxkt lifted himself up, finishing the drink greedily, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He made eye contact with the con man and flushed with a smile. “You make it sound so romantic.” He signed, pushing the empty glass onto the weapon crate before easing himself back down. 

“Shucks, what’s more romantic than watching you protect my bank and your dumb friends’ backs? It’s the best show around...and absolutely terrifying. Makes a man’s heart melt.” Drifter’s cadence matched the praise he loved to laud onto all his Guardians but it still made Soxkt chomp on his lip, gnawing away at the butterflies in his stomach. 

Drifter put the scope down back into the pile of weapon parts. His face was warm. “Alright. Your turn. Go on. Tell me some stupid shit about yourself.” 

Soxkt turned his head to where Drifter sat. “Why?” 

“I don’t know. Weren’t you the one all up in arms ‘cause I don't ask?’” 

Soxkt made a small teepee with his hands as he thought, fingers drumming together until he signed. “I think I could drink milk tea for the rest of time and never get tired of it.” 

“Alright, that ain’t too- Wait, hold on, is that the crap with the little orbs in it?” 

“Yes. And those are the best parts.” 

“How...how the hell do you drink it?” 

Soxkt chuckled gleefully at Drifter’s genuinely confused tone. “I’ll bring you some. You’ll see.” 

“Ha, nah, I’m good.” Drifter waved off the request and Soxkt roll on his side to face the Drifter more firmly. 

“Well... I wasn’t... asking.” Soxkt tried to sound bold but facing the man across from him still put a juvenile shyness in him all the same. 

Drifter’s eyes glinted. “Look at you givin’ orders now, huh bad guy? Bare those teeth at me a lil more. See where that gets you.” 

They couldn’t stop grinning, hadn’t been able to since they started sweet talking, even as they both broke eye contact to try and control their rushing endorphins. 

Drifter lifted himself from the stool, leaving the whiskey bottle on the work bench as he walked himself towards where Soxkt’s head hung off the side of the makeshift bed. 

“Go on. Keep talkin’.” Drifter instructed as he laid flat on his back beside Soxkt facing the opposite direction, eyes closing, leaning his cheek up against Soxkt’s calf. 

Soxkt lifted himself on one arm and stared accusingly at the Drifter’s serene expression. “You can’t...see my hands...from down there.” 

“Yeah? Damn. Guess you’ll have to talk for real.” He smiled even as an open palm smacked his stomach. 

Soxkt laid himself back down gingerly. It was hard to focus with the warmth of Drifter’s face against his leg.. “...I keep...plants...in my...apartment. I even have...a greenhouse...room...for the rarer ones. Sunika...has a key...to help water the plants...when I’m away.” He spoke softly, reaching his hands behind his head, carefully undoing the intricately done buns, threading his fingers through the snags in his hair as he spoke. 

Drifter grunted at his answer knowingly. “There it is. Not a farm by a long shot but it’s somethin’.” 

“Heh...exactly…” 

“You just givin’ people access to your place like that though?” 

“They’re...my clan.” 

“So? The hell they need that kind of freedom for?” 

“Well...Draknus has a key...for emergencies. V1per...and Vaan have one...since they live there. Sigurd...has a key too...because he stole mine...and copied it...for no reason.” 

“He give it back?” 

“Nope...he gave me...the copy.” Soxkt patiently waited for the Drifter to stop laughing. 

“Your clan know all your, uh, small things then?” Drifter asked as his laughter came down, scratching at his chest. “You’re a hell of an open book, more than I expected.” 

“Yeah...they know me...pretty well. They’re all...far too nice...to me.” Soxkt smiled at the crate’s ceiling as his thoughts drifted lazily to his clan mates. 

“Why aren’t you happy, Starlight?” 

Soxkt startled from his tipsy stupor and raised himself up slightly. “What?” 

Drifter was still lying flat, hands folded across his stomach now, eyes shut soundly. “You don’t gotta answer. But I’m just waitin’ for the other boot to drop. Where does the darkness creep in when you got all this to keep you busy and happy?” 

Soxkt lowered himself back down, his leg slipping out from under where the Drifter rested as he crossed it over his other leg, foot bouncing restlessly. “...None of it...is real...if I’m not...a good person.” 

“Lotta bad people are happy with a lot of good shit they got.” Drifter was quick on the retort. 

“Maybe. But...I have to be more. More than...any person...in the City. More than...The Vanguard. More than...The Hero of the Red War. And I’m...not. I’m not even...the good they think...they see in me. This body...carries something...terrible. My thoughts...are selfish...and cruel. I want...things that would...cause people to die...at my negligence. When everyone realizes...what I am...I’ll be nothing.” Soxkt inhaled deep, watching his chest rise. “Until I deserve to wield my Light, it’s all nothing.” 

The silence hung as both men laid in their own thoughts, eyes shut, barely touching one another but still feeling intertwined. Soxkt wanted to reach for Drifter’s hand. Drifter wanted to feel the hand reaching for him. Neither moved. Neither would dare. 

“...Throat hurt?” Drifter eventually piped up, light hearted. 

“Mmm.” was the apathetic grumble he got in response that made him grin. 

“Here. Let me have a little pity.” Drifter strained as he sat up, beginning to rotate himself when he stopped. 

“Hey.” 

“Mm?” 

“Your hair is down.” 

Soxkt peeked an eye open at where Drifter was now looking down at him from where he sat up. He nodded once. Drifter stared a bit longer then resumed his repositioning, moving to lay with his head next to Soxkt’s. 

“Anything...to add to that?” Soxkt mumbled. 

“Nope.” 

The two made themselves comfortable side by side, openly relishing in the bits of skin on skin contact and the warmth between them. Drifter watched as Soxkt’s hands signed over his stomach. 

“Did I guess your favorites right?” 

Drifter blew a breath out at the ceiling. “Kid...I don’t think I’ve ever had a favorite anything before. Maybe before I got woken up but not since.” He’d regret this conversational path when the sun came up and he’d blame the alcohol for taking him down it. But right now he didn’t feel a thing like a regret and he sure as hell wasn’t blaming the whiskey for it either. 

“Bullshit. Stop playing hard.” Soxkt’s hands deadpanned. 

“Shut it, you damn city Guardians wouldn’t get it.” Drifter snapped back and Soxkt could feel the jagged barns of hurt even in his tough words. He anxiously reached out, hand snaking around Drifter’s bicep, squeezing slightly. 

“...I’m sorry. I want to.” He said, voice strained. 

Drifter unconsciously reached over, gently overlaying his hand on top of where Soxkt’s fingers curled. “Listen...You know how you can’t stop thinking? Ever? Every word and thing you do has to mean something, get you somewhere, prove something to others or yourself or the Traveler or whatever? Yeah. I ain’t tryna prove nothin’ but...once you get used to survivin’, that’s all you want to do. Not livin’. Definitely not enjoyin’. It’s all getting by every day without eating a bullet.” 

“Your head...doesn’t turn off.” 

“Ever. I know the moment it does, I’m six feet under and no Light can bring me back. Always on my doorstep. Waitin’ for me. I won’t give it an easy fight though. If it wants me so bad, it better be ready to wait a long, long time. And I’m draggin’ the bitch down with me when I go.” 

Soxkt stares at the Drifter’s profile, trying to discern the lines of his face and the furrow of his brow. He wanted to take whatever that feeling was. He wanted to crush it in his hands and watch the void swallow it whole. 

“...You should have one.” Soxkt eventually said, wincing at his throat’s pulsing rejection of his talking. He tried to toe the line between the comfort he knew he was allowed to give and the comfort he wanted to give. “One...favorite. At least.” 

“Why you figure?” 

“Makes everything...more bearable. A little easier...to live through.” Soxkt glanced at Drifter out of the corner of his eye. “I can be...your favorite something.” Soxkt half-joked weakly, squeezing Drifter’s bicep. 

Drifter rolled over, pushing himself easily over Soxkt and their mouths together in a singular swift movement. It was a strange kiss. It was heated and needy but there was no tension behind it, no frustration, nothing to warm their cores against the bitter sorrow that followed them. It was a grab for comfort. A desperate bid to feel okay again. 

At some point it became softer and softer still, until it was frighteningly gentle and it almost hurt to kiss one another so sweetly but even harder was the idea of stopping, admitting it happened at all. Soxkt’s fingers found the long scars across the Drifter’s face and traced them slowly. A whimpering sound like a wounded animal found its way out of his throat as the Drifter responded with touch in kind, cupping Soxkt’s face, holding him down, like he was hoping he could box in every overactive thought between his fingers. 

They pulled apart eventually, breathing ragged, chests rising and falling as they sucked in the cold air. 

“I got a favorite.” Drifter said hoarsely. 

“Yeah?” 

“I think... you’re my favorite kind of survivin’ I got.” Drifter basked in the bashful smile Soxkt tried to hide behind his hand. Drifter bent back down and kissed the back of Soxkt’s hand. “More than eatin’. More than sleepin’. This right here keeps me goin’. Trust.” He took Soxkt’s wrist and moved his hand away, slowly, purposefully taking his time before kissing him again. 

Dangerous words perched on Soxkt’s tongue in his tipsy state and the dread of speaking those words out loud threatened to pierce the tiny bubble of happiness he found himself in. So instead he let himself submit to the kiss and realized just how worn his body was at the night’s up and downs, his adrenaline parting to reveal exhausted nerves. Drifter pulled back, breaking the kiss, and smiled warmly at the tired face beneath him, Soxkt’s eyes blinking open drowsily. 

“You need some shut eye. I’m sure the Chosen One’s gotta get up bright and early, weird ass visions or not.” Drifter said though he hesitated in pulling himself off Soxkt and freeing him, taking just a beat too long before sitting up and beginning to finish to undress himself. 

Drifter watched with a furrowed brow as Soxkt transmat a blanket from his ship after kicking his pants off into a heap in the corner. He smiled guiltily at the suspicious stare, but neither said anything as they unzipped the sleeping bag. Drifter watched as Soxkt clambered on top of the table unfolding the blanket and smoothing it out, a pit of uncomfortableness forming in him. He touched the plaid fabric of the blanket. It was damn near...domestic, all this. 

But the wary feelings screeched to a halt as Soxkt pulled his shirt off over his head, lazily letting it fall off the table as he rolled over to stretch his arms out at the Drifter, eyes barely able to stay open. Drifter scrambled to hit the lights and quickly found his way back into the desperately inviting embrace waiting for him. 

“Anymore favorites you wanna spill before you pass out?” Drifter pried curiously in a low voice as he settled himself in. 

Soxkt gave a deep exhausted sigh, curling tightly around the Drifter, head against his chest. “Your butt is my favorite.” He mumbled sleepily. He felt the Drifter tense under where he held onto him. 

“You are so fuckin’ weird, kid.” Drifter muttered through clenched teeth, worming his arm underneath where Soxkt’s head rested all the same. 

“Are you...embarrassed?” 

“No.” 

“...Are you blushing?” 

“Hush. Keep your damn eyes shut.” Soxkt would’ve smirked if he wasn’t so tired. He lazily reached a hand up and pressed it against the Drifter’s cheek instead, feeling the heat rushing under his palm. This was close enough. 

“...Thank you.” Soxkt’s weak, sleepy words slipped out in barely a mumble. 

Drifter waited a long while before replying in a small voice. “Yeah. I got you.” He didn’t even know if Soxkt was conscious to hear it. They slept on top of the opened sleeping bag after laying it flat, the insulated padding a barrier from the tabletop. Soxkt was already peacefully asleep by the time 

Drifter realized they hadn’t even done the one thing this relationship was supposed to be for. Not that he had wanted to do anything tonight anyways after that kind of scare. Still. This wasn’t good. Drifter rubbed the blanket fabric between his fingers. It’s good material. Warm. Heavy. He knew his Guardian bought it for the purpose of using it here. 

“His Guardian”, huh? He rubbed at his face. What the hell was he doing? 

He hadn’t out and out lied to Soxkt until now and it kept him awake. He wanted to shake Soxkt awake too and make him understand there was no favorite kind of surviving. It was impossible. Because one day, there would be nothing to eat and you’ll die slowly of the blackhole growing in your gut until your Ghost is forced to bring your sorry ass back. The wind or the cold or the gunfire outside your tent or the ice hearted fear that swore it heard a voice in the distance would keep you from sleeping for days until you startled yourself awake for months, convinced sleep was your Light winking out. And one day, one day, this dangerous game they were playing, this survival for the soul Drifter was betting all his chips on, this stupid thing he was letting himself have just once, it would go away too and... 

Drifter swallowed. No favorites in the Dark. He was just starting to blur the lines on a lot lately but he knew he could keep his word to some things. He knew better. 

When Soxkt woke in the morning, Drifter was already gone. As the Guardian dressed and began to leave the room, he stopped and turned to look around him, his eye catching on a glint of light. His heart clunked heavy to the bottom of his rib cage. 

Each weapon locker had a brand new, shiny padlock. 

No trust in the Dark.


	7. Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time keeps ticking by and it's so much more fun to chase the thrill of a new secret vice than acknowledge the darkness closing in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took every ounce of will power ever but eventually my need to write about two emotionally repressed idiots fucking won out over the incredible depression that stole my hands. Tags: public sex, the typical meanness and dirty talk you'd expect, no one is sober woohoo

“Hey, Socks.”

Soxkt paused in putting on his jacket, already half a step away from walking out the clan hall doors. Draknus was still fiddling anxiously with a coffee mug at the table the clan had just departed from after a brief check in. You could still hear the chatter leading further into the halls. Soxkt noticed the tense line between Draknus’s brow and his heart dropped with a clunk to the bottom of his rib cage. He was found out, wasn’t he? Still, he was grateful there was no shaky or wavering voice to betray his feelings. So he leaned a hip against the entryway, hands pulling from his pockets to sign a “What’s up?” like nothing was wrong.

Draknus trailed a finger around the mug’s rim. “You, uh...going out?” The words were casual but steeped heavily in unsaid things. Soxkt winced and rubbed a hand against the back of his neck before signing.  
“Just going down to the city for a little while.”

“Yeah? By yourself? You want some company?” Draknus set the mug on the table and turned to face him, trying to hide the prodding intentions behind a cocky grin.

Soxkt bounced his foot behind him, allowing himself the anxious extra seconds to pick his next words correctly. “I’m meeting someone down there, actually.” Draknus opened his mouth but Soxkt signed faster. “It’s a date.”

Soxkt was staring at the floor but he could still see Draknus suddenly sit up straighter, a light hearted “oh!” popping from his mouth before he cleared his throat. “Ok! Wow, yeah. That’s cool. I just wanted to check. Good for you, man.” He stood from the chair and tried to sound casual as he bumped it under the table with his hip. “You just haven’t gone out for a little while now. I figured that was all kind of behind you. That whole...phase.”

Soxkt lifted his gaze now and his smile was tight but real as he signed “This is different.” It was technically the truth.

Draknus raised his hands, waving them as though trying to clear the weirdly tense atmosphere he made. “No, no, I get it, it totally is! I’m happy for you. Really. I won’t get too nosy...yet. If you need anything, I’m here.” With that, the handsome Hunter gave a half salute and scampered towards the voices down the hall. Soxkt watched him go before heaving a heavy sigh of relief, rubbing a hand over his face. Ventriloquist piped up as soon as Draknus’s back was no longer in view. 

“If you want to still water the plants and make it in time, you better book it.”

...

“Are you ever going to tell him?” Ventriloquist asked some time later. He was nuzzled close to the curve of Soxkt’s neck, the cold metal pressing into the blue skin. Soxkt reached up, concealing the ghost with his jacket’s collar. This Guardian and Ghost were both anxious strangers to the Last City for a multitude of reasons. Thankfully, it was late enough that near no one was around to see them. The mental conversation bouncing between them was a nice tether to familiarity as they found their way down the dark roads, Soxkt’s phone a tiny beacon of light with a name written across it.

Soxkt rolled his eyes. “What? That I stopped sleeping with random Guardians and drinking myself into a stupor every night because I was starting to have dreams about the Reef Prince?” And even then, that wasn’t the whole truth. He couldn’t even begin to explain why he wanted to wake up from those nightmares in his panicked fevers alone so he could document out the sordid details and pour over them until sunlight broke through his window. It was just all so much easier to go through alone when an attractive stranger wasn’t beside him.

He’d made the mistake once of thinking he could sleep in the arms of The Drifter. Only once. He was lucky a nightmare didn’t strike that night but Drifter wasn’t one to let that kind of thing go. Those locks on his weapon lockers still caught his eye every time he found himself in that room. He told himself he was grateful for it. Drifter was going to keep him on the true path of depravity they set out on, no feelings involved. They both knew this was for the best.

Ventriloquist’s response tried to tread gently on the rocky ground after a bit of pondering. “I get why you wouldn’t want to be forthright with this information but, morally, don’t you think you should come clean about what you’re going through still?”  
“Draknus is finally off my case about my bad habits. So is everyone else. Why do I want to reopen that door again?” Soxkt was tired of the wary looks he got. Tired of his clan mates smiling through misgivings and mistakes because he was ‘hurt’. Sigurd was the only one to be mad at him for a little while but even he fell for Soxkt’s heel turn recovery like everyone else and turned way too kind afterwards. It was only now that things were beginning to fall back to a sense of normalcy. 

“The alternative is he thinks you are finished mourning Cayde or done healing from anything that happened. And you’re not done. You’re not better. Can’t you at least tell him about this thing with the Drifter?” Ventriloquist urged. 

“You don’t think what I’m doing right now is the better alternative?”

“What are you doing exactly?”

Soxkt chomped on his lip. “I’m sleeping with a self titled bad guy who clearly has ulterior motives for sleeping with me but I’m using him just as much as he’s using me. So at least we both know what we’re getting out of this. It’s...even.” Even he struggled to believe his own line of thinking when he thought about it like that. 

“And you’re asking me if that’s better than sleeping with mostly morally good complete strangers and slowly tarnishing your reputation with the Vanguard by shucking your duties? Which, by the way, your Vanguard reputation will suffer again anyways if they find out what you’re doing now.”

“Well...yeah. But this is better. Trust me.”

His Ghost was quiet for a moment. He could feel the shell of his companion shifting and turning against his skin, a silent thoughtful presence. When he did speak again, his tone was affectionate, soft and deep, like a hand resting on his shoulder. “You know...sleeping with someone because you like them isn’t using them. That’s just a relationship. You’re allowed to just do that.” Ventriloquist mused.

Soxkt shifted uncomfortably, as though worming his way out of the phantom hand’s touch. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” was the final retort he gave before stopping in his tracks, looking up at the tarnished grey building in front of him. This was the one. “Alright. I’ll see you in the morning.” Ventriloquist silently dissipated into nothing and Soxkt could feel the spot of cold air on his neck from where he just was.

...

This bar was not a nice place, not the place many a Guardian would wander into on purpose or accident. It wasn’t dark enough to draw in an edgy crowd looking to play rough and dirty for the night. It also wasn’t nice enough to feel even a little bit welcoming no matter how long Soxkt sat there for. The trade off was fair though. Not a soul had bothered him since he walked in. The white eyes of the bartender never blinked as he ordered his drink and tucked himself in this corner. And the only eyes to linger on him as he had been sitting and reading for the past twenty minutes were the blue eyes meant to be watching him in the first place. 

That’s why they had picked it. Or, rather, why Drifter had picked it. Something really got the rogue going when he learned Soxkt had been nursing his grief in the wombs of bars and in the arms of strangers cosplaying lovers. Soxkt couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t something anyone would suspect a sweet Vanguard hero of doing. It was damn near taboo if not outright scandalous. And like the restless young discovering sin for the first time, the two were drawn to that place of shadowy desire like a moth to a flame. When Drifter whispered the idea against his throat the other night, the Guardian had no choice but to call back his enthusiastic agreement. He had woken up with bite marks along his neck and a set of coordinates in the morning as a response. 

He heard the shift of movement, the chair legs scraping against the wooden floor. Footsteps against the wood planks coming closer, slow and easy. Soxkt stared at the same sentence over and over again in his book, not taking in a single word as the hair raised along the back of his neck. He didn’t expect this play pretend they were doing to make him so easily on edge.

“This seat taken, good lookin’?”

Soxkt dug his teeth into his bottom lip and he did his best not to smile. It would break the immersion so soon if he did. But he was a sucker for the Drifter’s drawl and the ridiculous sweetness of his pet names and so he raised his gaze from his book, peering at Drifter from over the pages, hiding his quivering mouth. Drifter had already seated himself in the chair across from him without waiting for permission. He’d been more than patient thus far. A little rudeness could be forgiven. 

Drifter was smiling at him with a smirk that made Soxkt’s stomach twist with a juvenile lust. Under the dim cold lights of the bar, Drifter looked dangerously handsome as though he was made to be found in lonely places. Without the armor adorning him and the Gambit coin pendant tucked under his collar, he was almost a different person entirely in a jacket as old as the city itself. He didn’t even notice the Drifter had brought two small shot glasses over until he slid one across the table to him. Soxkt yanked away his charmed gaze and lowered his book to stare at the dark liquid. When did he go up to the bar?

“Don’t worry, ol’ Drifter doesn’t show up empty handed. Your glass been empty for a while.”

Soxkt dog eared and closed his book, smiling as he picked up the shot. “Strange man...bringing me liquor. How do I know...this is safe?” He held the shot glass by the rim, the soft voiced question asked more in coyness than accusation. He had practiced many lines in his head while sitting alone at this table for the last twenty minutes. He hoped it would aid in the talking to come. The idea of pushing himself to talk the whole night was terrifying but he knew it added to the game, the thrill, and he could tap out at any time if it got too difficult.

Drifter seemed amused by his question. “You’re a Guardian. Why would I want the Vanguard after my ass for drugging one of theres? Or you, for the record, once you get back up again.”

“You know...I’m a Guardian then?”

“Heh, yeah, not a tough thing to guess. I even know you’re not just any Guardian but I’ll keep that part quiet.” The Drifter tapped the side of his nose before he raised his own glass. “Consider this my thanks for...any of the shit you’ve done, hero. Pick and choose.”

Soxkt nodded and their glasses gave a tiny clink as they met in the center of the table. They drank. Drifter didn’t break eye contact as he swallowed back the shot. Soxkt visibly winced at the burn.

“Ha! Too strong for ya’?”

“No.” He cough unconvincingly. “I am just...not used to drinking things like this.”

“Really. Heh, funny. Thought you might be if you’re comin’ here. This kind of place ain’t typically for softies.”

Soxkt’s eyebrow rose. “I’m...soft?” He asked, borderline offended.

Drifter smirked with a tilt of his head, lifting his hands in peace. “Hey, not always a bad thing! I like me a soft guy from time to time.” He winked. Soxkt chomped the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing but he couldn’t resist the eye roll or the blood rushing to his face. 

“You called yourself...Ol’ Drifter?”

“Just Drifter, thank you kindly. Does things to my ego if you start calling me old.”

It was Soxkt’s turn to smirk now. “You called yourself...that.”

“Trust me, I know I look old enough to be your daddy a couple of times over. But have some respect for this bastard’s heart and don’t call me old to my face.” Drifter said, patting his chest firmly. 

Soxkt giggled at the Drifter’s self-deprecation. “Ok...Just Drifter.”

Drifter’s eyes went soft upon hearing his name and Soxkt found it hard to look him in the eye. “I’ve been sitting over there, watching you and wonderin’ if you were as quiet as you seemed. All mysterious, not talkin’ to nobody, curled up in the back here with that book.”

“Watching me, hm?” Soxkt raised an eyebrow. 

“I’m not the only one. Pretty sure every eye has been on you since you walked in, though my drinking companions are more reclusive than me.” Drifter smiled at Soxkt’s eyes now glancing about curiously. “What? You surprised? Heh...look at you all modest, like you don’t even know what you’re doin’.”

Soxkt tugged slightly on a lock of his hair, smiling shyly. His heart was falling over itself with flattery. He could’ve died at all this sweet talk. “You do this to...every Guardian...who comes in?” He murmured.

Drifter chuckled. “Even if I wanted to, it’s not like they’re just waltzing in here on the regular. I’d know. Which brings me back to why you’re out here in my neck of the woods.”

Soxkt had prepared for this question. “I’m...looking for trouble.” He said, resting his cheek in his hand.

“Really? What kinda trouble?”

“Well...You seem like trouble.” Soxkt winked. He prayed it wasn’t as awkward as he felt like it was.

Drifter leaned back slightly in his seat, looking for a split second like he was measuring how fast he could close the gap between them over the table. Instead, he flicked his hand and the bartender caught the movement, raising her head. Within a moment, she brought an already open bottle off the shelf to the table. It sat on the table with a heavy bottomed thunk and Drifter palmed something he kept very hidden into her hand as the silent large EXO woman walked away. 

“I’m more trouble than you probably wanna fool around with.” His voice was like black molasses, sweet and intoxicating and absolutely rich. 

“I’ve faced...a lot of bad guys...in my time.” Soxkt didn’t want to play up his arrogance but it was fun to dabble in. 

“Yeah, I’m sure, hero. Never one like me though. Trust. Can’t tear this system apart with my hands but it don’t mean I’m not bad.” Drifter had started to pour for them again. “Let’s see if we can build you a tolerance, yeah?”

Soxkt laughed quietly, rolling his shoulders back at the challenging words. “You aren’t...going to get me wasted, Drifter.” He took his full shot glass again and rotated it between his fingers. “Despite being ‘soft’...I can handle my drink.” He took the shot and blinked hard at the burn. Fuck. Asshole really knew his shit, huh? This stuff hurt. Soxkt hoped he was still in bounds of his character as he looked at the bottle’s label with offense, nose wrinkling. Drifter glanced away. His eyes were laughing. 

“Hey hey hey, don’t go making me sound like some creep. Maybe I just wanna help you loosen up, relax a little.”

“Do I look...wound up?”

“All you Guardians do.”

Soxkt felt the truth in that statement as harsh as the shot he just took and relaxed with a soft exhale. “Sure. We have...a lot to be stressed about.”

“Uh-huh. Imagine what it’s like for us little guys. You got the weight of the universe on your shoulders but we? We got the weight of all of your Lights on top of that. Y’all can afford to fuck it up as much as you like. Not us though. We got one shot at this life.”  
Soxkt tried not to fix Drifter with a strange look as he spoke. He had been picking up the obvious hints during this talk but it was still weird to hear Drifter speak so bluntly of himself like a non-Guardian and so casually too. It made him uneasy and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe he’d been around Guardians too much recently. Maybe Hawthorne had a point with everything she talked about. Soxkt sorted through the possible things he could say and swallowed as he came up empty handed.

“Sounds...hard.” Soxkt said uncomfortably, rubbing at his forehead with a groan of frustration.

Drifter seemed to enjoy the show of Soxkt begrudging his own lack of tact. “You could say something like that, yeah.” He replied, clearly amused.

“Anything I can do to...ease that weight?” Soxkt tried again  
.  
“Eh, you see a Red Legion son of a bitch, kiss your knuckles and give them one for Drifter.” Drifter had been toying gently with his shot glass as they spoke, rocking it from side to side before catching it in his hand, blue eyes coasting back up to Soxkt’s from where they’d been lowered. “But...I’m sure we can think ourselves a few more ways you can…’take my load off’ if you’re so inclined.”

Soxkt went to swallow his drink to hide his wide eyed embarrassment and faltered to find the glass empty. Drifter was already reaching out to the empty glass, pouring smugly, drinking in Soxkt’s red cheeks. 

“Gotta say. Hard to imagine a sweet face like yours out there, tearing up planets and slayin’ gods.” He threw out as Soxkt greedily swallowed the disgusting liquor to try and hide his bashfulness. 

“Looks can be...deceiving.” He choked, feelings not able to withstand the sheer intensity of this poison. 

“Ha! Yeah? You some cold blooded mother’? Got any tales to back that up?”

Soxkt tapped his jaw, thinking. He had many real stories he could pull. He had many stories he could steal from others. But as Drifter made himself comfortable, clearly eager to hear the follow up to his toss, Soxkt knew what to hit him with. 

He looked around and leaned across the table, voice low. “You’ve heard of what the...Vanguard tells about me. But...that’s not all. I’m not just...a soldier. I do... secret work...outside the Vanguard.”

Drifter blinked. He was trying to follow but also keep himself in character. “What do you mean?” He asked, his hushed voice suspicious. 

Soxkt smiled mischievously. “I help a man...defeat monstrous things...to collect precious...illegal materials.” He tried to motion with his hands without drawing too much attention. “Huge...Taken..creatures. Guardians fighting each other...with dark powers. Hundreds of...enemies of humanity..being gathered for some...unknown purpose.”

Drifter looked ready to throw something at him. Soxkt’s smile widened and he tried not to crack. 

“If any of what you just said is true, you might well and truly be a psycho.” Drifter finally said, hands folded in front of his face, voice a steady deadpan. 

“It's true...Drifter.”

“So lemme see if I follow. You’re saying on the daily you are just running down aliens and Guardians alike to collect...something for a man your Vanguard don’t even like?”

Soxkt puffed his chest a little with bravado. “I’m...one of the best...at it.” That pulled a smirk back from the Drifter.

“And this guy runnin’ it...what he’s doing with this shit then? Black market? World domination?”

“No one knows.” Soxkt waggled his fingers dramatically like a ghost story. Drifter broke just a bit and snorted, grinning, turning his head to the side. 

“He a man or a damn fairytale?”

“I think...a little of both.”

Drifter rested his chin in his hand, fixing Soxkt with a crooked smile. “Heh. Maybe it fits then. I mean, you’re more legend than man at this point yourself. One hell of a team, the two of ya.”

The words hit them both unanimously a second later like a Cabal dropship crashing through the rooftop and their eye contact quickly broke. Soxkt longed to see what expression Drifter had on but by the time he got the nerve to look back up again, Drifter was polishing his shot off, face a calm enigma, seeming to have already shrugged off the accidental tenderness. 

“You gonna tell me...why you’re trouble now?” Soxkt asked, pretending his heart wasn’t busting up against his ribs with every beat. 

“Ran with some not nice folks. Did some not nice things. Tryin’ to play nice now but...not so good at it. I ain’t got a bunch of fantastical stories like you Guardians.” He shrugged, waving off the inquiry dismissively, pouring himself another shot.   
“I don’t...believe that...at all.”

Drifter’s leer was a shot of adrenaline straight to his heart. “Ha. Good. You learn fast. Don’t trust folk like me. Not the safest choice to make.”

Soxkt rolled his eyes but smiled good naturedly. “You talk...big game…but you seem harmless.”

Drifter didn’t like that. Soxkt could tell by the twitch of his eye. He couldn’t tell where his character started and ended. “Gonna end up in some real hot water trying to box me in with whatever riff raff you’ve seen.” He warned, raising a finger. “I told you; you ain’t met no one like me before, kid. I’m my own breed. You better hope you see it comin’.”

“Why’s that?”

“It’s gonna be a real nasty surprise if you don’t.”

“Are you threatening me...Drifter?”

“Would it get your little engine going if I did?”

Soxkt pretended to ignore his last words, fiddling with his shot glass. When did it get filled again? And when did it get so hot in here? He took his last drink, glancing to see if Drifter’s eyes were in the right place watching him. Soxkt’s tongue flicked across the rim of the glass. Drifter’s eyes widened slightly and the corners of his mouth perked up, hungry and eager. 

“Why did...you come over...to talk to me...really?” Soxkt asked, his voice low and husky from the alcohol burning away. 

“Somethin’ tells me I can’t get away sayin’ you got some nice eyes and a pretty mouth as an answer.” Drifter cheekily replied. 

“You can always...find out.”

“...You seem smart.” The answer catches Soxkt off guard and his smile falls. Drifter isn’t looking at him anymore, drumming his knuckles on the table. He almost sounds...honest as he smiles at the groves in the wood. “I mean, look, we all heard the stories of what you did in the war. Brave, strong, merciless, god killer, whatever. No big ego on you either from what I’m seeing. That’s all well and good. But...I can feel it. You got a handle on this whole Light and Dark business. You get this whole game, inside and out. You ain’t expecting a damn thing from anyone for what you did but you know when to flex a little. I respect a man who knows who he is and gets on with it. Keeps balance. No use in pretending to be something you’re not.”

Soxkt’s mouth is dry. The words hurt like nails running down his back, sweet heat and burning of raw flesh. They were genuine words. They had to be. They felt as real as the glass squeezed between his fingers. Just as real, just as kind.

Drifter gave a short cackle, jolting Soxkt from his numb stare. “Speechless, huh? Ha! I still got it. Look at that, I can still be charming when it matters most.” Drifter crossed his arms behind his head, leaning back, smug as anything as he took in the shell-shocked Guardian regaining his composure.

Soxkt’s shoulders slumped low in relief. “Impressive, I’ll...give you that.” He admitted. 

“I appreciate it. Now. Where you goin’ home tonight?” 

Soxkt chuckled at the abrupt query. “What kind of...question is that?”

“Well I’m damn sure I got you roped in now. But I don’t want to assume anything before this ball gets rolling. I don’t know if you got yourself a sweetheart already in a bed somewhere expecting you home.”

“Would you...care?”

“You asking if I’d run the risk of pissing off some random heartbroken Guardian just to fool around with your sweet ass in my bed?” Soxkt flushed as Drifter finished his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Shucks, maybe you’re right. You got a face I’d fight the Red War over again to get in mine.”

Soxkt turned his head away shyly, his eyes downcast, but his foot bumped the Drifter’s leg under the table. “Gods, you’re so forward...” he murmured, his foot running gently up the Drifter’s calf as he continued his charade of coyness, heart hammering in his chest. He could feel the Drifter tense like a cat ready to pounce. 

“Yeah? You like that ‘bout me?” Drifter’s voice dropped slightly as he leaned in, eyes briefly glancing at the dead eyed patrons. 

“No one talks to me like you do. Or treats me this way…”

“Starting to believe me now, huh? No one like Drifter in this whole city. I’ll be whatever kinda man you want me to be, honey. ‘Long as you can handle it.”

“Do you think...you’re winning me over?”

“You know damn well I am.”

“Hmm...Maybe...”

“Uh huh?” Drifter reached down sharply, grabbing Soxkt’s foot as it reached his knee. Soxkt jumped with a small squeak of genuine surprise. “I’m thinkin’ you’re more than a maybe kind of guy...”  
Soxkt’s red face was more than the byproduct of his character acting and he found himself caught between the charade of his fun character and the reality of what he wanted. Drifter knew the tides had just shifted and he jumped at the turning tone, still keeping Soxkt’s foot trapped in his grip. 

“Why don’t we get out of here, hero?”

“I-I don’t know if I should...” Soxkt’s own hesitance surprised him. He wanted to be talked into it. 

“Aw, all that talk about looking for trouble and now you’ve gone shy on me. Ain’t nobody gotta know if we leave. I keep a real good secret. Trust.” Drifter dangled the word between them like bait on a wire. “Besides, that look on your face? Why’d I wanna share that with anybody?” The Drifter’s hand curved around, touching the back of Soxkt’s calf. “That look belongs to me now. And I’m real greedy.”

...

Soxkt pulled his jacket on, transmatting his book back onto his ship, catching him a few wary glares from nearby patrons as he did so. Drifter had brought the empty bottle back to the bar with the simple instruction to sit tight and Soxkt watched the two converse in quiet voices. His stomach twisted in nerves. Sometimes Drifter was best at reminding Soxkt of his dangerous reputation not in the game he talked or stories he weaved but just in the way he carried himself, in the small secrets he held. Like the thing the EXO slipped into his palm. Drifter glanced over his shoulder with a sleazy wink and Soxkt felt a chill drip down his spine.

Soxkt swore he felt eyes on his face as Drifter made for the door. There was no need to signal him or beckon. Soxkt was out of his seat and following out the door before he even had time to let the anxiety wash over him about any questioning gazes.  
As they walked out into the cold night air, Drifter’s arm settled over Soxkt’s shoulders. The bar doors swung shut behind them only a moment after, letting any lingering stare catch a glimpse of the touch. The streets were empty at this late hour, the street lights reflecting off the black fresh pavement and sinking into the dirt packed streets. Soxkt shivered at a gust and Drifter’s hand pulled him closer to his side. It somehow was the most embarrassing moment of the night so far. 

“My place, hero?” Drifter asked. Even with the empty streets, his voice was quiet and his eyes made a show of darting around to ensure their true aloneness before speaking. Soxkt couldn’t blame him. He was doing the same. But the coast was blessedly clear. They glanced at each other and smiled dumb and goofy at their own paranoid nature.

“That sounds...fine to me...Drifter.” Soxkt replied, curling against him, a little flicker of warmth in his chest as the Drifter kept him close, fingers pressing into his shoulder. 

They walked for a bit down the cold streets, their footsteps the only sounds moving down the sidewalks. Soxkt turned his head, staring up at the tall buildings and the odd ship that flew by in the night sky. Even just the stacked homes and shop stalls that dotted the sidewalks kept him engaged and interested. His head was swiveling enough to earn a gentle laugh from the Drifter who drummed his fingers against his shoulder.

“Don’t come around often, huh?”

Soxkt shook his head fast, stopping quickly as the alcohol sloshed around in his brain and almost tripped him.

“You should. Do you some good. Your Hunter buddies have a lot of hidey holes around here anyways. The city ain’t just for people like us.”

“I’m not...so sure.” 

Drifter stared down the streets, watching how far they stretched until his eyes climbed up the walls of the Tower slowly, their only horizon line. “We’re all just people, kid. People like you. You didn’t stop being that.” Drifter glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t forget it, yeah? Even if you are a living legend saving this rock every day. You and every other sad mother up there in that Tower are just people with an expiration date like everyone else. Yours is just a little later than ours. And that ain’t always a blessin’.”

Soxkt didn’t know how to handle the strangely serious advice being passed down to him or how potent it was. He was caught between his character and himself though neither really knew how to respond. Soxkt didn’t feel like a person. He didn’t feel much like a legend either. And sometimes he hardly felt like a Guardian. It wasn’t a fair view of himself to have, especially to everyone who admired him. He stared down at his boots on the pavement. 

“Guardians...can’t just be...people.” He started slowly. It was common Vanguard rhetoric stored up inside him. He wasn’t saying anything new. But he knew the Drifter felt differently and it was nerve wracking but he wanted someone to combat him on it. He glanced at the Drifter out of the corner of his eye. He was anxious to face his anger all the same. But Drifter was just staring down the road, straight ahead, listening. So Soxkt felt the words run out of his mouth before he could catch them. 

“We must be...symbols. All of us. And...some are...better at it than…others. But...we all have a duty...to try and be more.” Soxkt cleared his throat. It was weird hearing his own voice out loud so much. “We must...do the right thing...because it is the right thing...to do. We must be above...all our feelings. That is all.”

“Why’d you go face Ghaul, kid?” Soxkt almost felt like he was waiting with bated breath for the sudden question.

“Because I was terrified. Because seeing the leaders who gave me purpose scattered and defeated across the system broke my heart and I wanted revenge to patch me up again. Because without my Light, I lost my purpose. Without my Light, I can’t pretend I’m a good person convincingly. Because if I died fighting him, it would’ve been a relief knowing I died a hero, no longer stuck in this game of proving my worth.”

Soxkt swallowed. “Because...it was...the right thing...to do.” He said weakly. He wondered if Drifter could hear how strongly he lied. If he did, the rugged man didn’t blink at it.

“Why’d you come out tonight then?”

A long pause buffeted the conversation now as Soxkt thought. “I think...because...I wanted to.” He said, even slower than normal, feeling how the words tasted in his mouth.

Drifter’s hand gripped tight to him. “See? That’s being a person if I ever heard of it.”

The silence lingered between the two as they walked on. Both men were keenly aware a line had been crossed, the alcohol in their systems lowering the gates to their rigid common sense of what was right or wrong. No matter which way they turned, there was no erasing what transpired between them.

So instead, Soxkt fell back on the rare moment he had to voice a cheeky reply. “Any more...sage advice for me...old man?” He asked, forcing a smile back onto his face.  
Drifter raised an eyebrow. “Old man, huh? Ever hear of respecting your elders, you brat?”

“I’m not a kid...either. I could be...older than you.”

Drifter shook his head. “Nah. I got a nose for young blood. And as hard as you like to make yourself sound, I can smell innocence on you, strong as blood.”

“You like that...about me?” Soxkt reached his arm around, hand splayed flat, rubbing gently against the Drifter’s back.

Drifter moved under the palm on his back like an arching cat. “Oh honey, I’m startin’ to think there ain’t many things I don’t like about you.”

...

“I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.” Drifter purred against Soxkt, humming with pleasure as he felt his Awoken companion shudder from where he was between Drifter and the frigid alley wall. “Can't help myself from gettin’ a little lost....” His hands were pushing into the open parts of Soxkt’s jacket, running free against his sides, across his flat stomach. Feeling him like it was all new, curious and exploring. Soxkt let himself be pinned against the wall, shamefully obvious in how he felt with the gentle sounds he was making. 

“Hold it together, Guardian. Don’t want to get caught now do ya? Some strange Lightless man doing this type of thing to a chosen one like yourself? Vanguard would be scandalized.” Drifter teased, pressing their cold cheeks together, one hand flirting briefly beneath where his shirt ended. “Ain’t ya supposed to be pushin’ me off, chastising me?” He couldn’t tell if Drifter was mocking him in or out of character with that one. 

Soxkt responded by wrapping his arms around Drifter’s neck, kissing under his jaw, at his chin, wherever he could reach in his fervent state. The Drifter clenched around him, breathing heavy, arms encircling behind Soxkt’s back and pressing them close.   
“Ha, fuck you’re easy.” Drifter breathed out, a laugh lost in his voice, and Soxkt wanted to step on his foot for that but the embarrassing heat those mean words ignited in his core was too warm to deny. 

“Only...for you.” Soxkt murmured between his lips and the Drifter’s coarse stubble. 

Drifter chuckled shortly in his throat. “Don’t flatter me hotshot. I heard you saying you were looking for trouble. I’m just the first bit of trouble you caught.”

Drifter reached up and took Soxkt’s wrists, pushing them up against the alley wall and pulling the two apart, Soxkt’s breath coming out in puffs in the cold night air. “Looks like I’m gonna have to teach ya some manners tonight. All this talk about lookin’ for trouble but I’m thinkin’ it’s you who can’t behave.”

Soxkt stuck his tongue out in response. Drifter gnashed his teeth and it quickly vanished back into Soxkt’s smirking mouth. Drifter looked ravenous and his chest rose and fell with excitement. The alcohol he drank was strong. And sure, Soxkt was shy, but this new Guardian he was playing didn’t have to be. Soxkt lifted his leg, pressing his knee between Drifter’s legs with a gentle force, feeling the hardness already between them. Drifter screwed his eyes up with a small gasp and then opened them with a gaze that pinned Soxkt to the wall. 

“Careful there. You’re giving me some real stupid ideas right now. Make sure you know what game you’re playin’.” Drifter’s voice was a low warning. Soxkt ignored it brashedly. If he was playing this role, he was gonna play it right and squeeze it for all its worth. And he decided this character didn’t give a damn about any threats. So he tilted his head, exposing his bare neck, a sacrifice, smiling his best for the beast. 

“I don’t...believe you. Prove to me...you’re as bad as you say.” He breathed out his challenge, matching Drifter’s previous purr with his own. He tapped the Drifter’s ankle with his foot, encouraging, warm enough to melt through the cold stone at his back, burning with the thrill. 

He watched as Drifter’s gaze darted away from him, fast. A glance to the alley’s opening, nearly as dark as the alley itself and just as empty from where they could see it. A glance up the alley’s face, a glance to where the alley ended with the looming stone wall, bare. He was covering his bases on something and Soxkt was extremely eager to see where the end result lay. The hands squeezing his wrist tightened, signifying some final decision. 

“Fine. Let’s be bad guys.” 

Drifter flipped Soxkt around, one hand leaving his wrists to entangle hard into his red hair, keeping him pressed firm to the alley wall. The Guardian gasped and tried to pull free but Drifter brought himself flush against his back, yanking his head back to tease at his ear. Soxkt found no give or grip against the stone wall, writhing uselessly against it as the Drifter ran his tongue slowly around the edge of his ear. He ran his tongue down gently before sucking on the lobe, teething it gently, grinning as he felt Soxkt buck against him with a whimper. 

“I don’t know if I gotta take you home.” He drawled into his ear, breathing hot and heavy. “I mean, this should be more than plenty for a tramp like you.” Drifter’s second hand freed Soxkt’s wrist and ran down his side, thumb hooking slightly into his belt loop. “At the very least, you gotta let me...test run ya before I let you into my place, huh? See what the goods are.” 

Fingers pressed into Soxkt’s mouth as the grip on his hair disappeared. Soxkt moaned, jaw going slack to feel Drifter’s fingers inside him. He dreamt about this feeling. It almost haunted him. The large rough fingers pushing into his mouth, feeling along his scar, pressing deeper down his throat the more he choked, testing him. He steeled himself against his gag reflex, so focused on the invasion of his mouth to notice Drifter’s hand had looped towards his front, finagling with his belt one handed. 

Soxkt nearly choked as he felt the Drifter tug on the hem of his pants, pulling the waistband low enough to hook against his briefs and pull those down as well. It was only a few inches but even having that much exposed to the outside air made his anxiety spike. Drifter shushed him, pressing against his tongue, feeling the warm salvia run down his lips. “Relax, hotshot. No one’s gonna see us. You’re a bit of a wild child anyways. Don’t tell me this is scarier than everything else you’ve faced.” Drifter pinched his hip, squeezing at the flesh. “Mmhm, you’re a fine cut ain’t you honey.”

Drifter tugged his pants down further, exposing Soxkt’s ass near entirely, the waistbands resting just underneath. Soxkt growled and bit at the fingers in his mouth, not too hard but enough to be a brat. Drifter responder by moaning, grabbing Soxkt’s ass with a vice grip. “Bite all you want. I like a good fight.” He growled. He continued to grope at Soxkt’s bare ass, toying in Soxkt’s mouth even with the teeth sinking into his skin. “Bet you already made yourself ready for whoever took you home tonight, huh? A guy as easy as you don’t go out without being prepared.” Drifter dug at his ego like a love confession and Soxkt would’ve kissed him for it if his face wasn’t so firmly held against the alley wall. 

Soxkt nodded in weak confession against the bricks. Drifter hummed in satisfaction at the answer, pulling his fingers from Soxkt’s mouth and bringing the wet digits against Soxkt’s entrance. Soxkt quickly gripped the Drifter's wrist and the Drifter froze, waiting, smug as anything. He knew what was to come. After a hesitating moment, Soxkt released him and Drifter chuckled. The first finger slid in easily enough and Soxkt pressed a hand to his mouth quickly, stifling the sounds he couldn’t force down at the warm intrusion. Drifter’s finger pushed deep, curling, battling against Soxkt’s will to stay quiet. 

“God damn, Guardian, you’re tight...Almost’d peg you a virgin if you weren’t such a slut.” The Drifter teased in his ear. “Maybe you’re just the best lay this side of the system. Ain’t I a lucky bastard then.” Drifter’s finger pushed up with firm purpose and Soxkt pressed back needily with a moan his throat couldn’t cut off in time. 

“I bet you taste as good as you sound...” Drifter worked the second finger inside carefully, moaning as Soxkt clenched around him, moving gentle but deep, feeling him stretch. “Shame you had to push me like this out in the open here. Guess I’ll have to hunt you down another night, take you somewhere you can really scream.”

“Good...luck...finding me...again.” Soxkt panted out with whatever leftover sass he still had in him, already feeling his voice giving out from overexertion. The Drifter’s hand holding his head pressed the side of his face into the wall harder in retaliation at the snarky retort and Soxkt gave a choked gasped as the two fingers pressing against him began to thrust in a short tight rhythm. 

“Easy there, hotshot. No luck ‘bout it. Once I see you, I got you. You’ll never forget me either. I’ll make sure of that tonight.” Drifter spoke roughly but Soxkt could tell he was more into watching his fingers slide in and out with increasing ease than being too cruel to him. He brought his fingers in to the knuckle, scissoring them inside, searching for the right spot to rub against. Soxkt’s short nails dug into the stone, scratching like a cat in heat as he mewled. 

“Oh you are just too pretty, baby. Can’t be soundin’ like that. Gonna drive a man to eat and I am always hungry.” Drifter purred against his ear as he leaned in, slowly pulling free his digits from the clenching muscle. “C’mon, lets take a better look at all this.” Drifter squeezed Soxkt’s ass, pinching the thickest part like a butcher to the slaughter. Soxkt yelped, reaching back and playfully slapping his wrist away. 

Drifter dropped to a kneel, fingers pulling both of the waistbands with him, only inching them down just enough to fully free Soxkt’s ass from the confines of fabric. The Guardian instinctively reached back, trying to hide himself, throwing a nervous look at the entrance. “D-Drifter, be careful!” He whispered. Drifter responded with a spank that bordered on being too loud, knocking the wrist aside.

“You told me to be bad, not careful, honey. And I told you I’m not good at playing nice…Keep watch.”

Drifter bit into the flesh of his ass, unforgiving as his teeth clenched down. Soxkt felt the sharp pricks of pain spike through him and all the masochistic pleasure it brought with. He gasped loudly and reached back, fingers tangling in the Drifter’s hair, tugging in retribution. He heard the gravely chuckle that bought him as the rogue unlocked his jaws, moving to nip less harshly, cupping Soxkt’s ass in his hands like a well won reward. The texture of the beard against his smooth skin left him squirming at all the little touches. 

Soxkt pressed his free hand to his mouth again, desperate to muffle a squeak when Drifter’s mouth came much too close to making this situation more dangerous. Drifter pushed his shirt hem up to kiss at the small back of his back softly in apology. Soxkt’s eyes kept careful watch down the alley and he curled his fingers into the Drifter’s hair, preparing to yank him back up and tell him this game had to end, though it pained him to do so. It felt so good but the risks of getting caught were too high and if they didn’t stop now, things could get very tricky. Drifter hummed slightly at the tugging, pulling his mouth back, his breath hot against the spots of saliva against Soxkt’s ass. His hands remained though, kneading and stretching him wide. 

“You tryin’ to call the shots now, tough guy? That’s cute.” He asked hoarsely before moving his mouth back in, this time with a more specific purpose. 

Drifter’s tongue was hot and Soxkt had to bite into the flesh of his hand to avoid the sound that tried to throw itself from his mouth. Soxkt’s hand quickly untangled itself from Drifter’s hair and braces against the wall as his knees buckled. The fear of getting caught completely evaporated for a moment as the Drifter ran the length of his tongue across Soxkt’s entrance slowly, making the Awoken’s mind run blank with pleasure. Every nerve in his body lit up white hot and begging. Soxkt tried to squirm away on instinct from the overwhelming feeling but Drifter was strong, real strong. One hand locked to his hip and the other stayed locked on to his inner thigh, keeping him obscenely spread and slightly off balance, hugging the wall for support. 

Soxkt was aware his obscene panting and whimpering was becoming easier and easier to hear even covered by his palm but gods, it was hard to bring himself to care. His cock stiffened painfully, straining against the small amount of fabric still covering him. Drifter made a sound that sounded like prideful victory beneath him and Soxkt whined in response, only increasing in pitch as the Drifter’s tongue dug in again, repeating the same slow teasing drag. The contrast of the Drifter’s rough beard and soft mouth, the cold night air and the burning fire inside his stomach, it was all mixing into a sensation he could hardly handle. 

Soxkt stared wide eyed out the alley entrance, hearing his salacious noises twice as loud in his own head, the fear of getting caught only spurring on his excitement. Drifter had completely blacked out the world around them, abandoning caution for pure enthusiasm. He heard the Drifter groan deep in his chest and the hand pushing his thigh apart dropped to the sound of a belt rustling. He could feel his lips dragging against the sensitive skin, sinking himself further in hungrily. Soxkt felt his tongue push into the tight ring of muscle after a few more long licks, the hand along his waist wrapping up and around his front to keep the Guardian flush against his mouth. 

Soxkt felt some sense of decency break in him at the wet and warm intrusion and his trembling hand braced against the wall reached down and freed his stiff cock. He could feel his own hot breath from where he panted into his palm and he gingerly touched himself, trembling at his own sensitivity from the reckless oral assault on him. His shoulder dug into the alley wall painfully but he was numb to it. As the Drifter’s tongue pushed further in, Soxkt’s fingers played along his length, wrapping around himself with a firm grip as the Drifter tongued fucked his aching hole.

Drifter moved his hand down from Soxkt’s navel, sliding over where Soxkt’s grip held onto his cock, his large hand enclosing over his. He unlatched his mouth, panting. “Getting into it, huh baby? What happened to careful?” His drawl was breathless and he took his time guiding the hand up and down Soxkt’s shaft. There was something intensely erotic at feeling himself be forcibly guided to touch himself. 

“We...we can’t….keep going…” Soxkt could barely speak through the shakiness of his mouth. 

Drifter stood from where he knelt. He didn’t reply and instead pressed his front against Soxkt’s back, planting a warm kiss against his back, his beard still wet from his own salvia. Soxkt trembled as he felt Drifter’s length pressed against him, standing stiff. Drifter hummed gently in satisfaction.

“Oh no can do, sugar. I gotta prove myself to you. Gotta show you what a real bad guy looks like, that’s what you wanted. And besides, I told you I kept a real good secret and I meant it. Long as you stay quiet...who’s gotta know what we do in the dark?” Drifter kissed him again, hands warm and tight against his hips, smirk still on his mouth. “I’m gonna fuck you until you break.”

Soxkt’s eyes flew wide and he tried to twist in the grip. “No no no, you can’t-!”

Evidently he could. Drifter dug his fingers into the dip of Soxkt’s hips and yanked the both of them back. Soxkt’s front half slid down the wall while he felt his hips pull away from the safe coverage of the alley wall. Drifter’s hands knew how to mold him and push him to his will. His palm dug into the small of Soxkt’s back, forcing him to bend and arch, pushing his legs further apart with a single rough movement of his knee. Soxkt braced his arms against the wall, face burning red, his terrified eyes watching the empty streets. He could’ve sworn where it was once silent, he could hear footsteps in the distance. He craned his head around. He could hardly see Drifter in the lightless alley. 

Soxkt’s voice stuttered as he whispered in a panic. “Drifter, w-we c-can’t! I-If someone walks by, t-they’ll-!”

“Yeah? They’ll what? Tell me what they’ll see.” Drifter’s voice was a challenge and Soxkt was good to answer it until he felt the head of Drifter’s cock push up against him, guided directly against his entrance. Soxkt’s answer was replied with a low string of curses as he forced himself to relax enough to help ease the head of Drifter’s cock inside him. Despite his immediate protests, he was trying to press back, the saliva wet cock pressing deeper and deeper inside him with a slow squelching noise. Drifter knew far too well when his resistance was just for show.

One of Drifter’s hands left his bruising grasp on his hip, running down to feel along Soxkt’s stomach, teasing the area where his cock now hung between his legs. Drifter ran his fingers across his ribs, his navel, down to the tops of his thighs still mostly covered by denim. Soxkt full body shuddered as a small draft swept through and he felt the cold air kiss parts of him that should never have been exposed to such a feeling. The head of Drifter’s cock fit inside, already stretching him at the size. He could hear Drifter curse with an almost slur to his voice. 

Drifter began thrusting slowly, the space of their new position allowing him to fully draw his cock back before pushing himself back in, slowly adding another inch with each push. Soxkt buried his face into his arms, biting at his sleeve, his need to be quiet a much harder task with the rhythm being set. Drifter’s cock was able to piston in with so much force from this angle, continually drawing out to the tip only to force itself back in again. Soxkt could feel the Drifter’s hips grind up against him every time they slammed together. The sound of flesh on flesh was filling the alleyway slowly but surely, amping up as Drifter lost more and more of his cautious nerve in the passion of the moment. Soxkt could hear the his breathing shift, sucking in air through his teeth as he began to fuck him with more force. Soxkt tried to keep his legs straight and body steady, even when the deliciously rich feeling of Drifter inside him threatened to make him buckle. 

Fuck, it was good. It was too good. Too good enough for Soxkt forgot he was supposed to answer a hanging question. 

“I said-”

The thrusting stopped as Drifter buried himself up to the base with firm emphasis. Soxkt didn’t have a moment to turn back and see why as Drifter’s hands had already grabbed for his arms and yanked back. Soxkt’s eyes popped open wide and for a moment he forgot his goal of trying to keep quiet as he protested wordlessly, a fruitless endeavor. His cheek pressed hard into the alley wall as his arms were twisted behind him, Drifter’s new choice of leverage. Soxkt tried to gain back control but the vice grip wrapped around his elbows wasn’t budging. Nothing to hide his face. Nothing to muffle him. Nothing to stop any random pedestrian from seeing his face. Nothing to give him even an ounce of control. 

“Tell me. What they’ll see. Hero.” The contempt dripped from Drifter’s words and Soxkt’s cock twitched at the horrible tone being used on him. Drifter began to fuck him but Soxkt the thrusts were slow and teasing, no longer giving an excuse to not reply. "Put that mouth to use." Being fucked so slowly was torturous now, desperate for that urge in him to be itched again. Soxkt worked to speak around the gasping noises he was still making. He was beyond weak to the incredible eroticism of being denied control like this. The fear, the anxiety of getting caught, was mixing into a melting pot of arousal in his gut. 

“T-they’ll s-see me, ah, ah-!” Soxkt was immediately rewarded for his partial answer by the force which Drifter’s cock slammed back into him. His hands twisted, grabbing at nothing, groping in the air for something to cling to ride out this feeling. He bit at his lip in retribution at the sounds that managed to escape. 

“Yeah? They’ll see you what?” Drifter growled. 

“S-see me g-g-getting f-fucked by you- holy shit Drifter…!” Soxkt’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. The more he talked, the more it seemed to step on some pedal to the Drifter’s aggression. He blearily stared at the empty street, his cheek bone bruising up against the alley wall as it pressed in harder with each thrust but he was peacefully unaware of anything else in the world right now except the feeling behind him. The spot deep in him was being pounded so mercilessly, the pleasure threatened to make his legs give out. He could feel the precum beading at the tip of his cock, running down his length.

“That’s right, baby. They’re gonna see the hero of the red war getting his ass fucked by some no name low life in an alleyway. And they’re all gonna see how much you love it with the pretty look on your face.” Drifter hissed, straining to keep his voice in check as he railed into the Guardian, who had finally reduced to the soft desperate boy he’d been waiting for him to become again. For all Soxkt's efforts in keep quiet, Drifter panted like a beast in heat, sweating in the cold night air.

Then, footsteps. 

The two froze, stock still, staring down the way to the alley’s entrance. Drifter still kept his vice grip on Soxkt’s arms and stayed half inside him. At the end, they watched one lone man walk the street from the bar’s direction they had walked from. As he slowly plodded by, unaware entirely of the scene he was passing by, Drifter began to slowly push himself back in, slower still, achingly so. Soxkt forced himself to remain quiet, eyes wide, even as his body shuddered and begged at the slow, impossibly good stretching inside him. He bit into his lip so hard he thought he would draw blood. 

The man paused for a moment, pulling out a phone and tapping away on it before continuing his walk. The couple watched him walk out of sight, away from the alley’s entrance. Drifter bottomed out against him and Soxkt gave a strangled whine. Another minute passed.

“Your call, hero.” Drifter said it so softly and quietly, Soxkt might’ve considered calling him out on being out of character. But instead he responded by jerking his hips back. 

“T-Take me h-harder.” He begged in a soft voice. “Unless...you’re afraid.”

Drifter responded with a barely whispered “Fuck, I like you” before setting his pace again, ramping up the intensity of his thrusting much faster, hips ramming against Soxkt with a brutal slap each time his cock sunk back in. Soxkt could barely contain his noises now and even though he knew the man couldn’t be far enough away, he couldn’t resist the high pitched noises forced out of him. His cock begged for relief, for attention. 

Soxkt was well past playing coy now. “P-please-!”

“Please what?”

“L-let me t-touch, I want to, I n-need to-“

He almost didn’t think the Drifter would but Drifter eased his grip on Soxkt’s arms, grabbing his hips again once they were pulled back. Soxkt brought one arm back to the wall, not to hide his face or quiet himself but only to brace himself as he reached between his legs. He knew within moments of stroking himself he wasn’t going to be able to keep up for much longer. The combination of Drifter’s cock filling him and stretching him to his limit and his hand stroking at the head of his cock was a pleasure he could hardly fathom. 

He felt his open panting mouth drooling against his sleeve, the coil inside his abdomen tightening and tightening. The fearful adrenaline of almost being caught was still coursing through him and heightened every sensation. “D-Drifter, I’m-I’m going to-oh fuck, oh fuck-!”

The Drifter cut him off with a snarling retort. “What? You’re gonna cum from this? Fucking pathetic whore, c’mere.”

Drifter drew him up, pulling Soxkt’s back flush against his heaving chest as his thrusting became manic and desperate. His large arms wrapped so tightly around Soxkt, one hand finding purchase around his throat and the other flat against his stomach, nails digging into the fabric of the shirt. Soxkt arched into him, head against his shoulder, feeling the Drifter’s frenzied breathing against the curve of his neck. His eyes fluttered open to stare at the night sky above him and even though it terrified him, he lifted his free arm and clung to the Drifter. Their closeness and the Drifter’s cruelty still ringing in his ear put his wrist to work as he jerked himself off faster. 

As his mounting orgasm prepared to hit, Soxkt clenched hard around the Drifter, squeezing his hand around his cock, spasming as he edged himself nearer. The sensation of his ass grabbing so tightly to the Drifter pulled a long lustful moan from him and he felt the Drifter abruptly stop and shudder. The Drifter came deep inside him, his cock still thrusting in small short bursts in a desperate attempt to cum deeper and deeper. His hot cum filled Soxkt to capacity until it overflowed from him. 

Soxkt came hard at the full sensation building inside him. He felt the Drifter’s cum running down the back of his leg and the full brunt of what they’d done pushed him over the edge. Soxkt gasped a long string of vowels as he felt his load shoot across the wall in front of him in thick strands before oozing over his trembling hand. His eyes welled with hot tears that stung bright along his cold skin. Drifter clung tight to him, bracing him against the orgasm that overwhelmed him. And when a long drawn out keen began to escape, Drifter squeezed his throat until nothing but a silent choked cry remained. 

Soxkt weakly fell forward, pulling Drifter with him as he pressed his cheek against the cool alley wall. Drifter panted into Soxkt’s ear, heavy and loud as his chin rested against Soxkt’s shoulder. They were as still as they could make themselves, bodies moving in time as their breathing began to fall in sync. Soxkt’s breathing nearly shook his whole body, his arm pressed against the wall barely enough to keep him steady. The high of the rush was beginning to ease away and leave him both exhausted and worn, like the edges of his body were beginning to blur and fuzz. 

Soxkt unclenched his hand from his cock and ran his tongue slowly along his knuckles as he brought them to his mouth, cleaning the hot strands that still clung to him. He tasted clean and salty. 

The breathing in his ear turned into a breathless, slow chuckle. He could feel the Drifter’s lips pull themselves into a smile. “What the hell did we just do, Starlight?” His voice said in a hoarse whisper. 

“Who’s...Starlight?”

“Shut up. I didn’t fuck you that hard you went and forgot your own damn- ...oh. Heh, fuck it. Game’s over. I’m calling it. I think we tied well and good.” Drifter face nuzzled into the crook of Soxkt’s neck and the thoroughly ragged Awoken felt a weird burst of joy at the affectionate feeling of beard against his skin. He was happy. Ludicrously so. He wasn’t fully sure why but he slowly wrapped his arms over where the Drifter’s were still locked around his waist. Drifter didn’t stop him. They stood like that for a moment, waiting for the draining of their euphoric feeling to leave them the way they were.

“You need...to move...soon. Before...someone sees.” He chided after a moment though a part of him wanted Drifter to refuse.

“Oh, now you’re worried someone will see? Where was that five minutes ago?” Drifter teased but he pulled himself out of Soxkt slowly, moaning a little as the Awoken clenched around him as he drew his length out inch by inch. His arms unwrapped from around his waist and he straightened himself with a grunt. “I knew you were a fucked up little freak but damn, kid. I’m glad you ain’t like this all the time. I’d have to close up Gambit for good just to keep you in check.” Drifter smacked Soxkt’s ass, smirking at the yelp and worried shush it drew from him. 

Soxkt quickly pulled himself together, trying to control his jittery nerves enough to put himself back into his pants. “I don’t think...I could do that often...even if I...wanted to.” He muttered. He could still feel himself leaking and he had to force himself to see the hard truth of having to find his way home in a ruined pair of briefs. 

Soxkt turned himself around, putting some distance between himself and his cum still running down the wall. The shame of all this would probably hit later in a delayed nuclear blast. It was already starting to creep in on the edges. But for now he was mostly just filled with a giddy warmth, and he watched the Drifter tuck himself back into place as he grabbed his jacket from the floor. The Drifter was turned away from him but even then in the dark light he could see his face with a tight expression and...red cheeks. 

Soxkt ogled openly for a moment as he pulled his jacket on. “You’re...embarrassed.”

“Huh?” Drifter’s head shot up and he looked at Soxkt with a strange expression before laughing. “Drifter don’t get embarrassed, hotshot. I’ve been around too long to feel young shit like that.”

Soxkt watched him keenly, holding tight to that bit of happiness in his chest. “For someone...so careful...you like your risks, huh?”

“What can I say? I’m a gamblin’ man. And you’re easily my favorite guy to bet on.”

“Thought you didn’t have favorites.”

“Maybe times are changin’. Come on, ‘least I can do is make sure you get home okay.” Drifter breathed deeply, settling himself back into place before making his way out the alley, not glancing behind him to see if Soxkt was following. “So. Why’d you agree to ‘come home’ with a scumbag nobody like me, hero?”

A million answers appeared before Soxkt. Drifter was inherently charming and good looking, and typically that was all Soxkt needed. Drifter could talk the sun into setting if he tried so it didn’t feel difficult to fall for his persuasions. Drifter being a scumbag nobody was hot in of itself. But Soxkt felt like revenge for the strangely genuine answer he received earlier.

“Because...I knew...you wouldn’t hurt me...in the end.” Soxkt gave a crooked half smile. “Much as you act dangerous...I know you’re safe to be around...mostly.” Soxkt swallowed and pushed the last words out. “You’re...good for me.”

Drifter was quiet. Too quiet. The quiet stretched on into the streets for a good long moment. 

“Shit. Might have to take back calling you smart then. You don’t learn anything, do you?” The Drifter said it with enough sarcasm and enough of a toothy smile that Soxkt felt justified only in weakly punching his bicep in response. But the sting was enough to keep quiet. And it wouldn’t be the last thing the rogue said to him. 

As they neared an apartment block that Soxkt’s walk slowed by, Drifter spoke again. “Gambit’s gonna need you real bad soon. I promised a few...friends of mine some easy wins. Need you on your best game to make it happen. Don’t wanna let anybody down.” Drifter’s voice was all friendly ease but distant, no different from the voice he tossed around in the Annex. Soxkt could only nod with a small grunt in response.

“You sour?” Drifter asked. Soxkt stared at his feet in reply. “You better not be. Can’t have you start forgetting what this is. I know you think you’re unstoppable and unkillable and, hell, you kind of are. But you start getting...soft? You’re gonna find you ain’t as hard as you seem. That sweet little heart of yours gonna get you killed before any bullet does.”

“Relax. I’m not dumb.”

“I know, I know. But c'mon. Not all your fault. How could you not fall for me?” Drifter finished his tease with a kiss, quick and hard like a bolt of lighting and a tumblr in his chest like thunder. “Just be careful...ya hear?” The two came apart just as fast as they came together. Drifter gave a two fingered salute and his last words; “Y’know, you gotta nice voice. Shame you’re a mute, huh?”

Soxkt watched the Drifter turn tail and mosey out of the block, back down the sidewalks, before turning to make the short lonely walk to his back porch. It would be one thing if the cold dejection was all he felt. At least then he could tick himself off as an emotional sadist. But he still felt that joy, that warmth, that feeling of connection. That feeling every time he’d seen him. He doubted Drifter felt the same. 

Soxkt stared at his hand on the handle of his front door and sighed. He hoped this talking hadn’t become a habit. It needed to be firmly tucked away before the morning. He blinked. He turned to look over his shoulder at where Drifter was already a small spot in the darkness around them. A thought hit him square between the eyes. 

“...Take back calling me smart, huh? So, he was being genuine earlier.” Soxkt pressed his forehead to the front door. “Asshole. And I’m the one being unsafe with my feelings?”


End file.
